Would you want to be told if your husband was cheating.

[MessyMummy15]

I don't want to be outing.
But I'm in a position where I have found out someone has cheated on his partner.

He doesn't want to tell her.
She doesn't know.
I am good friends with both but finding it hard to remain impartial.

Would you tell her?
Would you want to know if your partner had cheated?
should I just keep my nose out?

Yes I’d want to know as I’d want to kick him out, and get myself tested if it was anything more than kissing.
Personally I’d do the whole ‘You tell her or I will’ thing, but I imagine lots of people will be along telling you to stop being so nosey.

There was a huge thread about this last week, loads of comments, every angle was covered there, I imagine.

I would want to know. If you do tell your friend be aware that you may lose her (people always blame the messenger in these circumstances) so make sure you know 100% that he’s cheated if you do decide to say anything. It’s a very difficult position to be in OP, good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I would definitely want to know but you have to decide based on your friend and how she may take it. I would tell some friends and not others. One of my friends would probably still stay in the relationship and I would end up getting the blame.

If you know then chances are others know and she will find out, so yes, I would want to tell her.

It's usually the messenger that gets shot, so you may find yourself friendless.

Yy I'd want to know as long as you had proof. If it was only gossip, that wouldn't be helpful.

I would want to know.
I felt very let down by certain friends when I eventually found out about my ExH affair.

I would want to know but equally in your shoes I wouldn't tell. Not sure how I reconcile those two stand points but luckily I don't have to

She's told me shes suspicious

No proof but he got drunk and confessed to me.

Will probably delete this thread soon. Worries it's gonna be outing.

This all depends on how you find out?

Just saw your reply. Why did he tell you? Was he wanting you to do his dirty work for him?

I am equal friends with both of them

If I tell her I'm ruining my friendship with him

If I don't tell her I'm ruining my friendship with her.

I wish I didn't know. 😭😭

@rosecakequeen he said an offhand comment while drunk and I had some background knowledge and figured it out and confronted him and he confessed but he doesn't wanna tell her. Or for me to tell her either.

Sorry for being cryptic I don't want to be too obvious:

Basic question is: would you wanna know?

Yes

Tell him to end the affair or else you tell her. Then butt out.

Yes I’d want it know, I wouldn’t forgive you for withholding either.

I'd want to know, but it's not your place to tell her.

Not an affair. A one night thing.

I'd want to know if it was me personally, however a friend of mine caught her best friends partner cheating on her, when she told her best friend her partner talked his way out of it saying her friend was lying and was saying it because she was jealous that they weren't spending as much time together anymore and the friend inevitably believed her partner and didn't speak to her friend for years until recently he cheated and got caught again, she'll find out what he's really like one way or another

Tell him to tell her or you will.

I'd be so upset with them, I wouldn't want to be friends any longer with a person cheating on their partner, at least until they spend a long time in therapy sorting themselves out (whether that means they break up or not - sometimes a breakup is what it takes for someone to cop on and change themselves for the better). I'd want to be told if it was happening to me, preferably before the cheater knew I was finding out, so I could gather some proof and get my ducks in a row before the fallout.

I think if you let slip in the future that you knew about it, you'd lose the friend anyway. They'd probably be furious that you knew and didn't tell, and they'd probably struggle to trust you going forward?

Yes I would definitely want to know.

@Burrit and that is the very real possibility. If you can handle this happening then go ahead - or maybe you could let her know anonymously.

100% yes, why protect a cheat?

Cheating is insidious.

Now you know something incredibly important about her relationship that she does not know herself. How are you supposed to continue being her friend if you DON'T tell her? If you keep his secret, it will be so uncomfortable.

If you do tell, your friendship with him is over. And possibly with her.

To answer your question, yes I would want to know.