Would you want to be told if your husband was cheating.

[MessyMummy15]

I don't want to be outing.
But I'm in a position where I have found out someone has cheated on his partner.

He doesn't want to tell her.
She doesn't know.
I am good friends with both but finding it hard to remain impartial.

Would you tell her?
Would you want to know if your partner had cheated?
should I just keep my nose out?

It depends. If it was a one off drunken kiss not so much. Full blown affair over a longer period: definitely.

I would definitely want to know. I would be embarrassed though to hear it from a friend. I think you should get him to tell her himself.

Also to add... I'd be annoyed with you if you knew for a while and said nothing. Give him a couple of days and if he can't do it you need to BUT make sure you have some proof because he could very well get in there first and twist things.

I would want to know

I would want to know. Yes it would be painful but better to got through temporary pain than to live a lie.

Yes. I would prefer he told me. So if i were you I'd give him one chance to do that.
But yes I would want to know if you were sure

Absolutely. Especially if you're a good friend. I'd be really upset if I found out some other way only to realise I had good friends keeping it from me. I'd maybe tell him I was going to let her know and give him the chance to come clean first.

Like someone else has said too though, get proof. Otherwise he'll twist it. Or tell her not to confront him about it and to get proof first.

Get her to plant a gps tracker in his car or jacket and if he's up to no good she'll have proof for herself. Did you say she was already suspicious?

I don't care how upset I was or how it could affect my relationship/s, I would want to know and I'd be pissed if I found out later on that my friend knew and didn't tell me. She wouldn't be my friend anymore.

Tell her

As I've grown older I've become more certain about very little.
But I've become certain about this: in these situations, STFU.

YES.

From a health POV alone!!

@MikeUniformMike

Tell him to end the affair or else you tell her. Then butt out.

This

I have said this before but I will say it again . Everyone says they would want to know but in reality they often don’t!
I had a friend of 20+ years who always said she would want to know if her DH was cheating . I discovered he was , told him I knew and he should stop , he didn’t so I told her .
She hasn’t spoken to me since . She is still with him.
Tread warily .

If she's talking about feeling suspicious then it sounds like she isn't the sort of person that would rather not know - she wouldn't be talking about the possibility of him cheating in that way unless she was worried.

I'd go with telling him that she's onto him and he has until tomorrow to tell her himself or you'll be doing it.

Yes. Preferably he would tell me but if that’s not going to happen then a trusted friend would be next best thing.

Sorry I know this does not answer your question but I think he wants you to do his dirty work for him. Tell him to man/adult up and tell his partner himself.

To answer your question. If I was happy and the infidelity was a one off I might not want to know. But if my partner was getting pissed and telling the world I would want to castrate him and to castrate him I would have to know first.

I never understand these threads. He made the mistake, he tells her or you do. You're not responsible for him. I'd want to know. Perhaps it feels different when you're in this situation, but on paper (screen) he's put you in a shit postion and he either sorts it himself or you do what you have to.

Also what rocinante said. He's trying to unburden himself by making it your problem instead. Don't let him get away with it.

I 100% would want to know as painful as it would be

It's tough because you are friends with both. I think I would be telling him you don't want to know anything more and strongly suggest he tells his wife. He's probably mortified that he got drunk and told you!
As to if I would tell her... I honestly don't know. I would want to know, but I also wouldn't want to be the one to break the news to her. (I understand this is a very unhelpful comment!)

Yes, I'd want to know so I could kick the fucker out!

As PPs have said, I would want to know, so that I could get myself tested.

I would want to know and I'd be terribly upset when it comes out (which it always does) if I discovered you knew and hadn't told me.

If he's drunkenly told you he will drunkenly tell someone else.