Being called "person"

[londongirl12]

Was walking back from the gym and my walk goes past a boys secondary school which is next to a park field. As I was walking I heard "excuse me miss, could you get our ball?" as the ball had gone over the school fence and into the park. Another boy said to the first boy "you can't call her miss" so the first boy then said "excuse me person, could you get our ball?" I got their ball, managed somehow to throw it over their high school fence, to great applause which made me smile, but I felt kind of sad that they said couldn't call me miss, they called me person. Clearly they've had their inclusion training that we had at work too. I'm female, so I'm happy to be called miss.

Person just sounds so rude in that context. I would be happy to be called miss

I think it’s quite sweet - maybe it was because they didn’t know if you were Miss/ Ms/ Mrs etc. I know lots of women hate being called Miss. I think ‘person’ is such an awkward, put on the spot teenager thing to say.

Yeah it just sounded odd. Like were they not sure I was female? But from what the second boy said, it sounds like they've had a class about how you shouldn't assume someone's gender etc. But I had my hair up in a ponytail, female clothes and bag. Even if I were a man identifying as a woman, I'm sure I wouldn't have minded being called miss

Lol - I'd have said yes you can call me Miss as I lobbed the ball back

That sounds really sweet

I don’t go to school or work and had no idea I’m a ‘person’ now...

'Person' is not a form of address! I am called 'miss' at work, it doesnt bother me one bit.

Was the suggestion not more likely to be that you couldn’t be called ‘Miss’ because you’re not a teacher?

I don’t know any children who greet people other than female teachers as ‘Miss’.

It is kind of tricky to be fair. There is the whole Mrs/Miss/Ms etc thing. "Lady" sounds odd, "woman" would be rude. Ma'am is an American thing and would be odd here. Luv, pet or dear are definitely out unless you are old and/or northern. Person is pretty odd but at least not wrong or disrespectful.

OK person is very awkward and it's lovely that they were trying to be polite but I feel very sad that a whole generation of children are being educated to take responsibility for other people's feelings.
Wouldn't it be much healthier to teach them to politely assert themselves and correct people who made honest mistakes in the way they addressed them.

I would have interpreted it as, they call teachers 'miss', not random women on the street. Calling you 'person' was a teenager's attempt at being funny. 🤷‍♀️

My guess is that they were teasing him for addressing you as a teacher rather than a member of the public. Everyone gets called Miss (or Sir) at my school; even the teachers do it as a shorthand (but not as a formality). It's a bit like accidentally calling your teacher mum.

I have never heard of “person” as a way of addressing someone - my DC have certainly never been taught this at school or anywhere else. Sounds like a misguided attempt at being polite/inclusive... quite sweet though, in a way!

This is definitely a thing that happened.

Maybe they meant it in a "you cant call her miss, she might be a mrs kind of way". I know some women are very anal about people getting their title right. Maybe the boy in question had a run in with someone like that.

It's just lovely to hear kids being respectful.

I suspect they have been taught that calling someone 'miss' is making assumptions. Whether it is about being married or not or gender.

His friend reminded him of the lesson so he tried again. There isn't really a generic 'title' to call in that situation. I resent being called 'luv' by kids barely out of school and have walked out of shops without my purchase or paying on occasion but I wouldn't object to be called Miss in this situation (even at 65). Miss or Missus even would be ok. But the kids don't know that. I hope they have the chance to bring it up in a lesson and discuss it.

It's like a line in Coronation Street :

Deliverly man goes into Dev's shop . Julie Carp is working there

Delivery Man "Are you Mr Dev Allerhan"
Julie: "Do I look like I could be Mr Dev Allerhan"
Delivery Man "I done a course , we're taught not to judge"

@FOJN

OK person is very awkward and it's lovely that they were trying to be polite but I feel very sad that a whole generation of children are being educated to take responsibility for other people's feelings. Wouldn't it be much healthier to teach them to politely assert themselves and correct people who made honest mistakes in the way they addressed them.

Yes this is exactly what I was getting at.

This would irritate me too,but I guess the kids were just carrying out what has been drummed into them.

They were really sweet and ran round cheering when I managed to get the ball back over the fence (I impressed myself! ). I don't think they said don't call her miss because I'm not a teacher, maybe I just assumed

Surely they just meant 'miss' was reserved for female teachers - and you were not their teacher.

"Citizen" is a nice bland honorific, but for the less well groomed, "Comrade" might suffice

This sounds most unlikely.

If it was about assuming gender then the second boy would have said "you can't call THEM Miss."
They sound like sweet, goofy boys having a laugh and yet still being polite. They would have meant that you're not a teacher, and then the boy said "person" just to be slightly funny in front of his friends. I would have laughed with them.

How polite they were, this is the kind of thing some people believe never happens any more e.g polite children.
But I agree it sounds like they have recently had some kind of talk where they have been told about how to refer to people and person’s.