Being called "person"

[londongirl12]

Was walking back from the gym and my walk goes past a boys secondary school which is next to a park field. As I was walking I heard "excuse me miss, could you get our ball?" as the ball had gone over the school fence and into the park. Another boy said to the first boy "you can't call her miss" so the first boy then said "excuse me person, could you get our ball?" I got their ball, managed somehow to throw it over their high school fence, to great applause which made me smile, but I felt kind of sad that they said couldn't call me miss, they called me person. Clearly they've had their inclusion training that we had at work too. I'm female, so I'm happy to be called miss.

Speech patterns and language shift through generations, I am sure the way we all speak now would have dismayed are parents ( and vice versa).
The kids were being very polite and respectful and I think we can all agree that their actions and attitude is great.
As for what they said, I guess some may have found it upsetting to be called Miss or Mr if that wasnt the gender they were ( or identified as), if it makes us all more inclusive than I suppose I can get used to it.

They sound very polite. "Person" does sound odd but they were probably trying to do the best they could. I imagine assumptions/ modes of address were something covered recently in their citizenship classes.

It's unfortunate that there isn't really a suitable polite and generic mode of address for women. "Sir" is always polite for men, regardless of age or marital status. (In the US my primary age son was addressed in restaurants as "young sir" which was really cute.)

Madam - sounds too formal and risks sounding sarcastic. Also seems to imply a matronly-ness not suited to younger women.

Miss - can be polite but also possibly patronising. Plus can cause offence if the person being addressed prefers Ms or Mrs or a professional title.

Lady/woman - same awkwardness as "person".

As a PP said it would be handy if men and women both could just be "comrade" or "citizen". Gets around any gender preferences too.

Was actually having a convo at the weekend with a friend about when you know you've reached middle age. I said it's when you notice black cab drivers start to address you as Madam rather than Miss!

How lovely, yes it is a shame OP.
You can't say this that and the other, well he just did and was courteous and polite.
How can anyone 'object' to being called Miss anyway!? Jesus!! Oh sorry...'Oh my days'

Quite a cute funny incident but hey let’s not let an opportunity to handwring about trans ppl slip through our fingers shall we

It was much politer than "oi, you with the stripey coat" which I got from a teacher in a similar scenario a couple of years ago.

I get called Miss at work. I love it. Makes me feel very youthful although I’m not.

Yes this is exactly what I was getting at.

Thought it might be

These trans threads get more imaginative by the day.

Just shows how our children are being confused by the current fads, calling someone Miss is quite natural for school children. As a teacher I was often called Mum by someone speaking in a hurry, often the class reprobate who then got a lot of stick from his, usually it was a boy, friends. My reply was Not on your life!

“ Just shows how our children are being confused by the current fads, calling someone Miss is quite natural for school children.”

They sounded like normal kids having a laugh with one another, not remotely ‘confused’. Language changes all the time and always has done, it’s no more ‘natural’ to address women as Miss than it is to address them as Khaleesi of the Dothraki Sea, it’s customary but customs change from time to time and place to place, and people manage to avoid confusion in the main.

Language changes all the time and always has done, it’s no more ‘natural’ to address women as Miss than it is to address them as Khaleesi of the Dothraki Sea, it’s customary but customs change from time to time and place to place, and people manage to avoid confusion in the main
On the contrary, "Miss" is absolutely the go to address for kids when talking to female strangers, I don't know why you'd find that hard to believe?
Customs have absolutely not evolved to addressing people of either sex as "Person". Not in my world.

I don't know any child that wouldn't address a female stranger as miss tbh, it isn't solely reserved for teachers! Those who say it is unusual, what would you expect them to say?

In this circumstance I would absolutely assume some misguided inclusion buzzwording

I would like being called Person. Citizen would also work.

Where I live in the UK, the school wouldn't allow you to touch and throw the ball back as you could be passing on coronavirus.

The cops have a good option on the Road Wars type programmes - 'my friend'. More polite than 'mate' which the officers take great offence to.

“ On the contrary, "Miss" is absolutely the go to address for kids when talking to female strangers, I don't know why you'd find that hard to believe?”

I don’t but there is a difference between what is the prevailing custom of a time and a place and what is “natural” that’s all.

What is natural is that teenagers take the piss out of one another for the most minor slips of the tongue and have in-jokes that make no sense to adults. It doesn’t mean that we should all pearl clutch about them being brainwashed by the trans borg ffs but i can see some people enjoy doing that so sure crack on

@SenecaFallsRedux

I live in the US South so it's an easy one for us. It would be ma'am, which as it happens is an abbreviation for madam. And likewise it would be sir for a man.

So I'm curious. What would be the normal form of address in the UK for someone whose name you did not know? If you were walking down the street and saw that a woman dropped something, how would you get her attention?

Ey up luv, tha's dropped thi whatsit!

I live in the US South so it's an easy one for us. It would be ma'am, which as it happens is an abbreviation for madam. And likewise it would be sir for a man.

Do you know, I like this. It's used very occasionally in a UK context, and it's so much more equal than men being 'sir' and women being 'miss', as if in our schools women are automatically downgraded in status!

But in any context I'd prefer 'Miss' or 'Person' to 'luv', or a worse one that my window cleaner persists in calling me, 'Princess!' Eurgh.

Context is everything, and these kids were clearly trying to be polite. It's only when the word 'woman' is scrubbed off important NHS documentation and other areas relating to clarity about women-only conditions, etc, that the word 'person' really does grind on me.

Horses for courses. Anything goes as long as they're not deliberately trying to be dismissive or rude.

Ey up luv, tha's dropped thi whatsit!

Ha! You come from Yorkshire, don't you?

I volunteer in a prison. I’m 60 years of age. All the men call me and the other female volunteers Miss.

I would have laughed. Having been told off for calling you miss, it seems perfectly sensible.

Aww good for them for considering your (possible) feelings on this.

In the North I am I also happy with the expressions they use.

It would probably be luv, when we flew in and out of Manchester airport we would guess how long it would take to be called luv, you knew you were home!

Yes, scuse me love is a gender neutral term of address where i live, from women to women and men, and from men to women and men also (when i was at uni some of the male cohort not from round here were weirded out at being called ‘love’ by beefy male bus drivers I recall)

What about fellow human? Sounds more friendly than comrade or citizen to me.