Page 6 | To be angry with this shop assistant?

MrsAvocet · 2020-09-21T18:39:08+00:00

I'm in the market for a new bike and went into one of our local bike shops for a look today. I'd checked their website beforehand and thought they might have a few worth looking at. Things didn't get off to a great start when the assistant started talking to my DH and ignoring me, despite us both making it clear that it was me we were shopping for. But I wanted to see the bikes so let it go, and told the guy fairly precisely what I was looking for. He then took me over to a completely different style of bike and told me that this model "is very popular with ladies". I explained to him that it may well be, but its not the type of thing I am looking for, and restated my requirements. Seemingly grudgingly, he then showed me one of the bikes I had seen on the website but it wasn't quite right so I asked if there was anything else and he said no. I then asked if they'd stopped stocking one of the others that I'd seen online and he replied "No, we still have them, but the thing is, they're not cheap bikes so I didn't think there was any point showing them to you." WTAF? Since when do shop assistants get to decide what a customer can spend? Admittedly they were at the top end of my price range but I'd had enough by now so said "Actually they are well within my budget but I think I will take my business elsewhere" and walked out. DH thinks I over reacted and says I didn't actually give a price range so the assistant wasn't to know. That's true, but I did say what level of components etc I was looking for which should have given him a fairly good idea what price point I was interested in. Plus I didn't want to see " all bikes between £X and £Y," I wanted to see the type of bike I described and I think he should have just shown me what I asked for and kept his judgements to himself. I think I actually reacted fairly calmly! I rarely spend much on myself and have been saving for this bike for quite a while so I was looking forward to going shopping but I left feeling quite upset. So, was my reaction reasonable or not?

Calabasa · 22/09/2020 13:02

i get this with Car purchases.. i'm the petrol head, i grew up being taught the ins and out of car buying by my dad who was in the industry.

ExH was useless, so whenever we bought a car, i picked it, i gave it the once over/test drive...etc i also knew more about money than he did and negotiating deals.

Pissed quite a few salesmen off when they realised ExH was a bit of an idiot, were trying it on and then ExH would just grin and point at me 'she's the one who has the final say, not me' and i'd just smile and then go in hard xD

Only ever had one guy who was on his game and realised by listening to the way i was talking to ExH as we looked around the cars, that i was the one with the knowledge and the one he needed to do the sell on.. and realised i wouldn't tolerate any of his nonsense/fibs/over egging and just talked to me in plain car people english xD

ifIwerenotanandroid · 22/09/2020 16:39

@Eslewyre
No, they'd already shown us (& we'd shown them) that we weren't their usual type of customer. It was a very smart, look-down-their-nose sort of shop. And it was all for domestic premises. But hey, we were there, buying one of their kitchens with the money that we had in our bank.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 22/09/2020 16:41

sorry, I meant @Elsewyre (just went back & checked)

And I was actually considering the metal innners as I wanted everything to last as long as possible, as I hate upheaval in the house!

claireb7rg · 22/09/2020 17:16

@ItalianHat

I think you should summarise what you've told us here & write/email/telephone the shop, ask for the manager, and explain why you're spending around £750 (what a good serious bike costs) elsewhere, and suggest that the shop staff need some training to counter their sexism.

Actually £750 isn't a good decent price for a bike. Both of mine are over that...

If the bike the op is wanting is anything like the one she has linked to (she said it was similar not the bike) then it's over triple that!

SusanneLinder · 22/09/2020 17:51

Oh I had this last week when a kitchen surveyor came round and stated to me that DH would have to get HIS bank card out? DH put him in his place by stating " Why would I do that?" My wife earns her own money. He had the grace to blush.
Also walked out of car showrooms over sexist twats talking to DH about cars when its MY car and I'm paying for it. Had the manager running after me too.

Mama1980 · 22/09/2020 17:52

This is depressing reading but sadly common I think. I had similar in a car showroom, went in alone, with 2 young children and not looking my best. They clearly took one look at me and thought forget it, they were rude, patronising and dismissive.
When my brother joined me (prearranged we were going go for lunch) in his smart suit they immediately began to fawn all over him. I was furious....so was my brother who promptly informed them that I have a phd, and of the fact I earn 5 times as much as him and had been planning to buy a car outright that day. Their faces were a picture.

I ended up buying from an independent showroom, where a lovely young man took a lot of time and trouble to make sure I ended up with the car I wanted. I made sure his boss knew how great his customer service was.

ItalianHat · 22/09/2020 19:25

If the bike the op is wanting is anything like the one she has linked to (she said it was similar not the bike) then it's over triple that!

Yes, I realised that when I clicked her link

Still think @MrsAvocet should contact the shop and tell the owner or the manager why she didn't spend £2,000 with them.

billybagpuss · 22/09/2020 19:31

A friend of mine went into one of the big German brand showrooms, looking for a new family car, got told there was nothing in her price range and directed her towards the second hand lot, she called her husband who was lunching with the UK Md of the company at the time, the subsequent phone call did not go well for the sales assistant 😂

Pollaidh · 22/09/2020 21:15

I gave him a pretty technical description of the type of carbon roadbike I'm after and got shown a steel hybrid with a step through frame and a fake wicker basket.

I'm pretty sarcastic so I'd probably have asked sweetly if they also did those pink streamers that come off the handlebars.

claireb7rg · 22/09/2020 21:29

@ItalianHat

If the bike the op is wanting is anything like the one she has linked to (she said it was similar not the bike) then it's over triple that!

Yes, I realised that when I clicked her link

Still think @MrsAvocet should contact the shop and tell the owner or the manager why she didn't spend £2,000 with them.

Definitely!!!

That shop person was a giant cockwomble ands to be told!

drspouse · 22/09/2020 22:52

@Pollaidh

I gave him a pretty technical description of the type of carbon roadbike I'm after and got shown a steel hybrid with a step through frame and a fake wicker basket.

I'm pretty sarcastic so I'd probably have asked sweetly if they also did those pink streamers that come off the handlebars.

Like this one?

KatherineJaneway · 23/09/2020 07:22

@Thewiseoneincognito

I’m with the shop assistant on this, if you look as though you can’t afford it why should they have wasted their time? Perhaps they were exercising caution If you looked as though you may have tried to steal it or used a dodgy card. Two sides to every story, if they are a good sales person they can work you out instinctively.

A good sales person doesn't judge by looks alone.

billybagpuss · 23/09/2020 07:54

@Thewiseoneincognito

I’m with the shop assistant on this, if you look as though you can’t afford it why should they have wasted their time? Perhaps they were exercising caution If you looked as though you may have tried to steal it or used a dodgy card. Two sides to every story, if they are a good sales person they can work you out instinctively.

I worked in banking for a very long time and our most affluent customer dressed as a tramp and for most of the year lived as a homeless person, he would come in daily to check through his investments and was very generous with quality chocolate gifts for the staff at Christmas, I’m sure the people in the chocolate shop felt the same as you and would have preferred him to shop at Lidl.

Pollaidh · 23/09/2020 15:46

@drspouse

Exactly. So pretty...

ChateauMargaux · 23/09/2020 18:01

I haven't read all of the responses but this I infuriates me.. in evidence I offer the ..
Victoria Pendleton

How much did they pay her to put her name to that???

Nanny0gg · 25/09/2020 10:36

@Thewiseoneincognito

I’m with the shop assistant on this, if you look as though you can’t afford it why should they have wasted their time? Perhaps they were exercising caution If you looked as though you may have tried to steal it or used a dodgy card. Two sides to every story, if they are a good sales person they can work you out instinctively.

Well clearly their 'instinct ' was wrong!

Never judge a book by its cover!

rorosemary · 25/09/2020 11:07

@Thewiseoneincognito
You shouldn't judge people by how they look. The richest person I know has around 35 million I believe and looks unwashed, wears second hand worn and torn hippy clothes, hasn't seen a hair dresser in years and prefers going barefoot half the time. Very big into the enviroment and reducing waste. Does make expensive purchases (well doesnt look at price) if she feels that they will last longer.

Original poster

MrsAvocet · 25/09/2020 12:48

Thanks all. Pleased to report that I had a much better experience in a different shop yesterday and now have a very nice bike on order. Don't know when it will arrive unfortunately, but that's the way of the bike world at the moment.
Incidentally Thewiseoneincognito I was wearing a pair of black jeans from Debenhams and a White Stuff top when I was in the first shop and had recently showered ....I don't think I was giving off bag lady or bike thief vibes. If he thinks everyone who looks like me is a swindler he won't do much business. The mental image of little middle aged me being able to run away from the big burly bike shop guy whilst carrying a stolen bike is quite amusing though. I think he would have caught me before I'd got to the door!

OP posts:

Pizzaistheanswer · 25/09/2020 13:04

Glad you've found somewhere good, OP!

This has happened to me so often in bike shops. I don't take my DH with me now because I often cannot get the assistants to talk to me if he's there. He knows bugger all about bikes! I usually have to name drop some big event or col that I've just done to get anywhere. And don't talk to me about how much stock for women they actually have in (and how much is pink, there's another bugbear) - I am a size 6 and had to do the rounds to find anywhere with size 6s in stock. It's bleeding well the most common size for a woman!

Don't get me started on all the unfit men who practically do themselves a mischief to get past me only for me to pass back as soon as there's a hill - I did a few experiments a few years ago on my cycle commute with my blond ponytail hanging out and with it all tucked under my helmet and the behaviour was genuinely not the same (although on the upside, someone actually did a study with a man wearing a long blond wig and cars were much more likely to give a "woman" space).

Oooh, I shouldn't have started on one of my cycling rants ... Especially on the anti-cycling MN [grins] I've probably "outed" myself snort

BatShite · 25/09/2020 13:55

If you want a 'laugh' trying going into a DIY store and buying power tools when you have a man with you. B&Q I'm looking at you.

Even without a man with you. I was asked if I was buying a drill as a gift for my husband!

Yup, same here. I was so shocked I laughed in the guys face actually as DH would be massively unimpressed with a tool set for xmas

'Oh, spoiling your husband this year, he will love it I am sure' (some comment about flowers I would maybe recieve too..dont remember the wording of that part though, and again, I would be bloody gutted with flowers!)

I was not married, they were for me, and it annoyed me that it was assumed it must be for a man. But that kind of thing seems normal.

BatShite · 25/09/2020 13:57

@Thewiseoneincognito

I’m with the shop assistant on this, if you look as though you can’t afford it why should they have wasted their time? Perhaps they were exercising caution If you looked as though you may have tried to steal it or used a dodgy card. Two sides to every story, if they are a good sales person they can work you out instinctively.

Not sure how someone can 'look as though they cannot afford it' really. Maybe if you live your life based on stereotypes or something, but thats a bit odd. The most well off people I know are just like 'regular' people, infact at a push I would describe a couple as a bit 'scruffy'. Never ever came across the head to toe gucci, perfect hair and nails, expensive bag...etc rich person that most seem to think of when money is mentioned. Or that are rife on TV.

Tootsey11 · 25/09/2020 14:05

I had similar in a place selling window frames. I was busy looking at all the different styles, asked the salesman about a particular one, and got the reply 'those sent for the likes of you'. I was gobsmacked. Told him I was no longer interested and left.

You didn't overreact Op, how dare anyone judge what someone wants and can pay for.

Original poster

MrsAvocet · 25/09/2020 14:57

I can relate to all that @Pizzaistheanswer - except the being passed thing as I am now middle aged and slow myself. My next new bike will probably be an ebike, but hey, it beats not riding. That happens to my son all the time though. He is 15, but looks younger and is pretty serious about his cycling. He will pass lots of adults on his training rides and says he often hears the furious clicking of gears as they realise they've just been passed by a kid and start a desperate chase. Why? Who cares? If you are out enjoying your ride at your pace, why does it matter who passes you?
To be fair, most of the people I know through cycling are lovely, but the ones who are tossers are in an absolute league of their own!

OP posts:

MsF1t · 25/09/2020 15:14

Gah. I remember buying my Cannondale a few years ago; went into a shop in Camden and got this mardy cow who kept trying to sell me something with full suspension. I looked around: 'We are in London. It is very flat. I do not plan to go off-roading with this. Why would I need full suspension?'

She juts her bony hip at me in a show of cool, checking out her male coworkers; 'So your sunglasses don't fall off your head when you go over a bump.'

Twat.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 25/09/2020 15:35

@Pizzaistheanswer

Glad you've found somewhere good, OP!

This has happened to me so often in bike shops. I don't take my DH with me now because I often cannot get the assistants to talk to me if he's there. He knows bugger all about bikes! I usually have to name drop some big event or col that I've just done to get anywhere. And don't talk to me about how much stock for women they actually have in (and how much is pink, there's another bugbear) - I am a size 6 and had to do the rounds to find anywhere with size 6s in stock. It's bleeding well the most common size for a woman!

Don't get me started on all the unfit men who practically do themselves a mischief to get past me only for me to pass back as soon as there's a hill - I did a few experiments a few years ago on my cycle commute with my blond ponytail hanging out and with it all tucked under my helmet and the behaviour was genuinely not the same (although on the upside, someone actually did a study with a man wearing a long blond wig and cars were much more likely to give a "woman" space).

Oooh, I shouldn't have started on one of my cycling rants ... Especially on the anti-cycling MN [grins] I've probably "outed" myself snort

Dd is 10 and races. On her last race before lockdown there were hardly any U10s so they stuck them in with the U12s. The way the races work is that boys and girls race on the track at about the same time but they are not racing against each other. (This is important!) Generally they start the boys off a few metres ahead of the girls to make it easier to see what is going on.

3 laps into the race and dd was miles (well about half a lap) ahead of any of the other girls so started looking around for a new challenge. Started winding in the boys. Overtook some. Now - you are in a race, near the back, are overtaken by someone you are not racing against do you (a) sit on their wheel and enjoy the free tow (b) kill yourself trying to get back past them.

It seems if the person who overtakes you is (1) tiny and (2) has cute little blonde plaits all down her back the answer is very definitely (b). So, of course, dd would sit on their wheel for a while having a lovely rest and then take a deep breath, do a mad sprint, leave them for dust before starting to look for her next victim.