To be angry with this shop assistant?

[MrsAvocet]

I'm in the market for a new bike and went into one of our local bike shops for a look today. I'd checked their website beforehand and thought they might have a few worth looking at. Things didn't get off to a great start when the assistant started talking to my DH and ignoring me, despite us both making it clear that it was me we were shopping for. But I wanted to see the bikes so let it go, and told the guy fairly precisely what I was looking for. He then took me over to a completely different style of bike and told me that this model "is very popular with ladies". I explained to him that it may well be, but its not the type of thing I am looking for, and restated my requirements. Seemingly grudgingly, he then showed me one of the bikes I had seen on the website but it wasn't quite right so I asked if there was anything else and he said no. I then asked if they'd stopped stocking one of the others that I'd seen online and he replied "No, we still have them, but the thing is, they're not cheap bikes so I didn't think there was any point showing them to you."
WTAF? Since when do shop assistants get to decide what a customer can spend? Admittedly they were at the top end of my price range but I'd had enough by now so said "Actually they are well within my budget but I think I will take my business elsewhere" and walked out. DH thinks I over reacted and says I didn't actually give a price range so the assistant wasn't to know. That's true, but I did say what level of components etc I was looking for which should have given him a fairly good idea what price point I was interested in. Plus I didn't want to see " all bikes between £X and £Y," I wanted to see the type of bike I described and I think he should have just shown me what I asked for and kept his judgements to himself. I think I actually reacted fairly calmly! I rarely spend much on myself and have been saving for this bike for quite a while so I was looking forward to going shopping but I left feeling quite upset.
So, was my reaction reasonable or not?

It isn't a big chain actually, @yeOldeTrout. It is an independent shop and as its in a very small town I don't really want to link to the actual website but the bike I wanted a look at was similar, but not identical to this one.
www.tredz.co.uk/.Lapierre-Sensium-600-Disc-2020-Road-Bike_222071.htm?sku=717319&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=google_shopping&gclid=Cj0KCQjwnqH7BRDdARIsACTSAdvne_p9CC4GO60sOQ2olxJrxdjZxetcHGSeC3f1WcTkGR6mxlre5lcaArcREALw_wcB#

With the car or general sales people going on about price I think they're the slimey sort who also do negging to chat people up. They're trying to get you to 'show them' and spend over your budget. Just another sales tactic but they are seriously misreading the customer who will get so offended by the suggestion they might not have enough and walk out.

A fair few times, when I pull out a kitchen drawer, I think of the salesman in the posh kitchen shop we bought everything from. Asked about drawer inners, he said, "Well, we have expensive metal ones & cheaper plastic ones." I was just pondering this when he said, "The cheap ones will be good enough for you."

I had a tradesman round to discuss a job I wanted doing in the house. I was very specific about what I wanted fitting (not a budget option) and the type of finish I needed. It was all going so well, he understood my concept and could source the materials and the price was reasonable given the labour and cost of materials so we agreed a start date. Then as he was leaving he hesitated and asked “Shouldn’t you check with your husband about this?’. I laughed out loud and told him my husband was a very busy man and I didn’t trouble his pretty little head about domestic trivia.

This is the sort of crap many sales people get 'trained' to spot their clientel. Street charity fundraisers do similar profiling in targeting people, trained by the charity's middle man aka agency recruiting and training endless supply of desperate people.

I went car shopping with my dad a couple of years back, when car salesmen inevitability started talking to him he quickly directed them back to me ‘ don’t talk to me she’s buying the car, not me’. My dad is in his 70’s and hardly a champion of women’s rights. I do think your DHs / partners are half to blame if they don’t correct the behaviour.

@D4rwin that’s a good point - especially when you say most people won’t respond well to negging, they’ll just get pissed off!

I’m sure like many customers I have no fantasies of an overdramatic Pretty Woman scene, I just want to buy a product that suits my needs and budget without being patronised, say thank you and disappear and everyone gets on with their life.

I don’t need grovelling or excess flattery or “making a point”.

You talked about a carbon road bike and he showed you a step-through with a basket?

Dear god, what a sexist knob. Please tell his manager.

YANBU

I have experienced this a couple of times - when moving back to my late husbands home town (we had been at a wedding the day before & were shattered but it was the only time we could go) we got the let’s be realistic you can’t afford to buy here from one of the big national chains - we just got up & left, viewed other properties & purchased
On another occasion we had taken the children to Alton Towers & husband was in a wheel chair - I was knackered pushing a 6ft 3 man around all day - but I will always remember people swerving around us & elbowing him in the head, it must have happened about 10 times in the day, with not one single apology!!

Always bike shops... I think I’d like to open a specialist women’s bike shop!

My husband and I run a business together and I’ve also experienced the “talk to the man” by bank managers

That's reminded me of my aunts story that I think I've told here before

She was going into a clients building and looking - as she always does - "just" like a "wee auld wifey" plus it was pouring rain and her umbrella had broken so she was looking quite "drowned rat" and a chap who worked there was also entering the building, she couldn't get the door entry system to work for her and rather than help her he just left her stuck, in the rain!...

...cut to aunt in her temporary office at the place and this chap is shown into her office to meet her because...

...he's the subject of her fraud investigation! She's a highly experienced forensic accountant!

Love when karma happens

@DdraigGoch

It's ableism pure and simple. I get it a lot when I have to use a wheelchair. The assumption of many people (airports, shops etc) is that the person in the wheelchair is not a "real" person, nor intelligent enough to understand simple questions.

It's sad, but when I'm travelling on business and being delivered around the airports like a package, they usually start by treating me like a halfwit. I find it's best to exchange a few words and drop in my profession early - they're always surprised, and then I get treated with a little more consideration. A little. Doesn't stop me from being parked in corners facing walls, or dumped and forgotten about to the point they have to hold the plane for me when my tweets finally get some response.

Contact the owner and complain. That sort of blatent sexism should have no place in the modern world and will be losing them a lot of business!

YANBU. Sexist and not good people skills.

I don't give my business to anywhere that don't treat me well - car dealerships are special offenders in this, but bike shops can be bad. Fortunately my local bike shop (in Worcestershire) aren't like this at all and listen very carefully to what you want and guide you to the right bike or build according to your needs, budget, etc

Ah the car dealerships . The one where the salesman added two fucking grand onto the price when he saw me , assuming that I was too bloody stupid being a little woman to log into the Ford Direct website and check . I wasn’t too stupid to let it slide though , and rang Ford’s head office myself to just make them aware... I heard the shit apparently hit the fan over that.

And then there was the Land Rover dealership , where DH and I went to find his retirement treat . We walked in , and granted , I had that “ been on night shift all week” face on , and DH had his “fuck it , I’m retired “ beard on . They ignored us completely, and then grudgingly sent us the office trainee to essentially endure us because they thought we were tyre kickers . But he showed us round the vehicles and actually was very good , so when we went back into the showroom , DH and I made sure to stand right in the middle , look at one another and say - “The HSE , you think ? “ - and then pull out my debit card and say , “Can you have it ready by tomorrow?”

Well . The manager ran over , whisked us to an actual salesman’s desk , coffee suddenly appeared , and they had the paperwork ready before you could say “Big Mistake”. At which point I refused to sign it , because they had put the salesman’s details on it , instead of the trainee’s . So they were told , that either they corrected it , or we walked .The trainee was so chuffed , it was his first ever commission. I made damn sure he got it though , because I rang up their head office too , in case it suddenly got changed . And ever since , every time we go in there, they fall over themselves to help . Slime bags .

oh gosh, that's hilarious, contrast your desired bike & being shown a BSO...

well, if it's any consolation, I approached LBS to help me buy a bike.
I specified lightweight hybrid with straight bars & low gears but high quality components. LBS kept showing me expedition bikes (heavy, drop handlebars). Eventually apologised saying something about bikes DH had bought there in past being like all drop-handlebars.

I didn't feel it was sexism, just not paying attention. I looked & bought elsewhere.

These stories make depressing reading. However, just to prove all is not lost...
I went to a tyre garage as I had a slow puncture. Me and DP were standing beside my car, which was a classic sports model, when the mechanic came over to serve us and greeted both of us. I spoke first and explained what the problem was, he gave several options along with his recommendations. He never addressed DP once, directed all his questions to me and looked to me for the decision. He was early twenties and clearly has good parents/ boss who educated him on presumptions. I still recommend that garage to everyone.

I read almost this exact scenario In a cycling article, it seems lots of shops arrogantly assume they know what you want or need regardless of what you want or need and this is especially true if you are a woman and or overweight. It’s a real shame

Oh there are definitely good ones too. If you are in south London, Brixton Cycles are amazing (their head mechanic is a woman, and she wrote their service manual). Great shop, never been patronised in there in any way shape or form. Bonvelo in Herne Hill also good.

Price range should have been his first question. He isn't any good at his job. I'd have just told the manager he needed refresher training on customer assistance: & why.

I had this when buying a caravan, then dp (now exh) & I went to a caravan retailer to choose a newer caravan as the one we had was prehistoric, I was the one who had been reading up on all the models, knew all the facts & figures, also knew it was the end of the trading month & that they would be begging for the sale as it was the start of the close season. The salesman who showed us around totally ignored me, even though it was me who was asking questions but we decided that we wanted the caravan. I asked him what his best price was knowing that the model had been discontinued a year before, the caravan was an ex demonstrator model, he quoted the full list price from the previous year, I knew that it was only worth about £5k less than the price on the window, but he wouldn't budge, we walked out & sat in the car. I saw the salesman go back in the office & someone else came out, so I got out of the car & asked him what the best price he could do me, he quoted the lower price, I knew that the price they start at isn't what they are prepared to sell at as well as the fact the new models for the next year were due in any time, making the caravan technically two years old & that they needed the space, so asked him if he could do me a deal, he knocked another £2k off the price, I was cheeky & asked if he would go another £4k lower as the caravan was old stock, he said he would ask his manager, he came back & said yes, I had seen that the new models were being sold with equipment packs, a microwave, free delivery & servicing & said if he would throw all that in then we would buy it, it was by now a minute to closing time, after a lot of telling him we were walking away, he agreed, he shot us in the office & did all the paperwork, I managed to get £11k off the window price, £1500 of extras & free delivery, exh said he never thought I could do it, he had been prepared to pay the window price. I saved us enough money to buy a top of the range awning & pay all our site & storage fees for nearly 3 years. I didn't buy the awning from them, that was another £1500 they lost. I even found someone on the site to buy our prehistoric caravan for more than we paid for it. Always be prepared to walk away, if they want your custom, make them work for it.

@redlockscelt

If you want a 'laugh' trying going into a DIY store and buying power tools when you have a man with you. B&Q I'm looking at you.

Even without a man with you. I was asked if I was buying a drill as a gift for my husband!

@ifIwerenotanandroid

A fair few times, when I pull out a kitchen drawer, I think of the salesman in the posh kitchen shop we bought everything from. Asked about drawer inners, he said, "Well, we have expensive metal ones & cheaper plastic ones." I was just pondering this when he said, "The cheap ones will be good enough for you."

Do you think he maybe meant the plastic is fine for domestic use the metal is more for commercial or a more busy kitchen?

Trying to save you spending on something unessecery?