To be angry with this shop assistant?

[MrsAvocet]

I'm in the market for a new bike and went into one of our local bike shops for a look today. I'd checked their website beforehand and thought they might have a few worth looking at. Things didn't get off to a great start when the assistant started talking to my DH and ignoring me, despite us both making it clear that it was me we were shopping for. But I wanted to see the bikes so let it go, and told the guy fairly precisely what I was looking for. He then took me over to a completely different style of bike and told me that this model "is very popular with ladies". I explained to him that it may well be, but its not the type of thing I am looking for, and restated my requirements. Seemingly grudgingly, he then showed me one of the bikes I had seen on the website but it wasn't quite right so I asked if there was anything else and he said no. I then asked if they'd stopped stocking one of the others that I'd seen online and he replied "No, we still have them, but the thing is, they're not cheap bikes so I didn't think there was any point showing them to you."
WTAF? Since when do shop assistants get to decide what a customer can spend? Admittedly they were at the top end of my price range but I'd had enough by now so said "Actually they are well within my budget but I think I will take my business elsewhere" and walked out. DH thinks I over reacted and says I didn't actually give a price range so the assistant wasn't to know. That's true, but I did say what level of components etc I was looking for which should have given him a fairly good idea what price point I was interested in. Plus I didn't want to see " all bikes between £X and £Y," I wanted to see the type of bike I described and I think he should have just shown me what I asked for and kept his judgements to himself. I think I actually reacted fairly calmly! I rarely spend much on myself and have been saving for this bike for quite a while so I was looking forward to going shopping but I left feeling quite upset.
So, was my reaction reasonable or not?

Bike shops can be a bit notorious for having staff who think they know best and can be a bit dismissive. DH feels it too and he’s been into cycling since he was tiny (so knows his stuff) and we have stopped going to a few local stores on the basis of staff being rude/unhelpful.

I often find I have the reverse problem in shops; I’m very chatty whilst DH is more quiet and reserved. Quite often, we end up with the salesperson fully focusing their attention on me when it’s something DH wants to buy.

Halfords. Worst shop for this EVER. But it's not a sex thing, it's an appearance thing. Every single time I go in (branches all round the country) I am ignored completely. Like I'm simply not there. I walk up to a member of staff and they just wander away. I cannot understand it.

The worst one was when my stepdad and I went in for new license plates wearing our scruffy farm gear. Rush job for an MOT and only place for miles so couldn't come back another time.

We stood at the desk for 20 minutes. Nothing. We walked over to a staff member and upon seeing us, walked away and started serving a young lad in a baseball cap hanging round the sound systems. Another told us they would get someone. She walked away and never came back. Found her talking to another young lad in a baseball cap by the exhausts.
Chased another down who said he'd go check. He went out back and never came back. Caught the man who supposedly did the plates who said he'd just need to go get something. The next person told us he had gone on lunch instead. Nearly two hours we stood there in store watching them fawn over young lads looking to Modify their Golfs and Civics and completely ignore us. It was weird. We actually thought we were on some sort of prank show!
The thing is, it's not just one store. It's all that I have been in! It's almost impossible to get the attention of someone in the bike section unless you're a Lycra clad (bloke) cyclist with a £3K bike!

@MrsAvocet

Oakleaffy no, he didn't go by what I asked for, that's the whole point. I gave him a pretty technical description of the type of carbon roadbike I'm after and got shown a steel hybrid with a step through frame and a fake wicker basket. Notsuchasmugmarried sadly he was probably mid 30s, 40 at the very most.

I must be lucky in my local bike shop as I knew what I wanted and he got it for me (aluminium frame hybrid). He did try to persuade me to not have a step through but a) I can't really manage without and b) at the time I was carrying DD on the back so flinging my leg over was never going to happen. DH would never come with me to buy a bike as he has no clue, but the sales assistant assumed I did know, thankfully. And no fake wicker baskets in sight. Proper metal basket for when DD was on the back, yes.

I’ve come to the conclusion I look poor. We had the same in a car sales room. It was Ford not Porsche and we wanted an smax. The sales person said she didn’t have any in our price range (I hadn’t stated one). We went to the garage in the town across and bought one cash. Very bizarre! I also had it in a handbag shop in Verona, Italy, but to be fair, she did have a point as I don’t plan to buy a £1000 handbag and had walked in looking like a downed rat. Dh pointed out it looked like we couldn’t afford an umbrella at that point!

If you are anywhere near the East Midlands sort of area, I got brilliant service in the Giant Rutland store.

In my quest for a new bike for 9yo DD, the only funny question I got in any shop was to ask how tall her father was... She's approaching 150cm and needed a 26, which is small adult apparently, I'm 170cm (so tall but not overly tall...) They laughed when I told them her father is a mere 173cm. They were trying to estimate how long a 26 should last her. Her height comes from me.

A memory from years ago here! Pre-mobile phones.
I was 26 and had cash to buy a brand new car (those were the days!) I wanted to part-exchange for a specific car I liked so went to the showroom (on my own) and asked for exactly that. Easiest, quickest sale ever I thought.

The salesman didn’t take me seriously.
He took my details but was distracted and kept disappearing. During one of his disappearing acts I saw that he was with an older couple and was obviously dealing with them whilst they looked at a car in the showroom.

I got up and left but on my way out, said to a random man on the sales room floor - ‘He doesn’t want to sell me a car today’ and pointed at the other guy.

I drove to another dealer (same manufacturer) 15 miles away - told them what had happened and what I wanted to buy. After a quick check re. part exchange and completion of paperwork, the deal was done.

I got home and had a missed call on my answerphone from the manager at the first sales room. I picked up a while later and he had called back again to apologise and offer me a sale. I told him I’d just bought the car elsewhere.

My real life pretty woman moment!!

Just scrolled up and it seems car dealerships are the actual worst!!

I’m with the shop assistant on this, if you look as though you can’t afford it why should they have wasted their time? Perhaps they were exercising caution If you looked as though you may have tried to steal it or used a dodgy card. Two sides to every story, if they are a good sales person they can work you out instinctively.

You were definitely not unreasonable. I have experienced this sort of thing a lot round where I live.
Most recently on walking into a show room to look at a car for me I was completely ignored despite trying to get the attention of someone to help me...but they all fell over themselves to talk to my DH when he wandered in a couple of minutes later. We took our business elsewhere.

I had this a while ago in a Mazda showroom. Salesman was lovely chap, very helpful - we went out for a test drive. He had to get the manager over to discuss prices. The manager talked to DH, who said it wasn’t his car. Manager would not discuss a price with me until I had signed to say I wanted the car. I refused to sign for a car I didn’t know the price of. I decided then that we were going to walk out. We went elsewhere! Salesman rang DH a few days later and asked if we’d thought about the car. DH said that the manager had really pissed his wife off (me) and that once I had it in my head that I’d been treated badly I would never set foot in that shop again!

Your dh thinks you over reactes as he hasn't been subject to this kind of shit for his whole life. Its not the one off incident.

I think you should summarise what you've told us here & write/email/telephone the shop, ask for the manager, and explain why you're spending around £750 (what a good serious bike costs) elsewhere, and suggest that the shop staff need some training to counter their sexism.

@Thewiseoneincognito

I’m with the shop assistant on this, if you look as though you can’t afford it why should they have wasted their time? Perhaps they were exercising caution If you looked as though you may have tried to steal it or used a dodgy card. Two sides to every story, if they are a good sales person they can work you out instinctively.

I’m not a sale person, but I worked for a short time in the car industry. One of the first things they teach you, is not too judge a book by its cover and this is going back 25 years. This has been proven right in countless tales on this thread. The op was prepared to spend more on a decent bike, so the sales persons ‘ instincts ‘ where off on this particular occasion, not to mention how offensive it is to be ignored because you are female.

@Thewiseoneincognito

I’m with the shop assistant on this, if you look as though you can’t afford it why should they have wasted their time? Perhaps they were exercising caution If you looked as though you may have tried to steal it or used a dodgy card. Two sides to every story, if they are a good sales person they can work you out instinctively.

Seriously, that’s your take from this thread? That every woman on here looks like a car, bike or carpet thief, but conveniently none of their husbands do?

This reminds me of a time I went to my bank to deposit a cheque for £20. I was dressed for a meeting, so reasonably tidy! a long queue behind me., several of whom I knew. Got a young male teller, and asked him to withdraw the same amount and he said, rudely, I kid you not, ‘And how do I know you have that amount in your account??’ I was 😤shocked and said calmly, you will see the total on your computer.I left, without withdrawing cash, phoned the manager when I got home, and reported him, also requested a written apology, which duly arrived,and was told he had behaved like this before and was being sent for further training! it really shocked and embarrassed me.

The shop assistant was rude, sexist and condescending. YANBU and right to walk out of the shop.

We've had this in car dealerships and left before. And with trades, the most memorable being when one told me he didn't want to do a certain procedure without my husband being home (we're not married) because the tradies would want to show me something was level and they tended to find men understood better. One, don't start with that sexist shit, and two, it was looking at a number on a digital display, my niece could do it.

I also get this travelling business class. I've had male passengers tell me I'm in the wrong queue, had staff tell me I'm not allowed to take my cabin baggage on (because I had more than is allowed in economy), lounge staff look me up and down on entry. I'm short and plump (and female), I look young for my age, and I dress for comfort when travelling. And yet I pay for my own travel unlike many of the businessmen who love to assume I've ended up in the wrong queue.

I get it in my job too, and am increasingly sarcastic in my responses. It drives me up the fucking wall.

I'd complain to the shop frankly, they will be delighted to know one of their sales assistant is driving clients to the door!

I know bike shops have done a roaring trade with the lockdown, but they still need clients.

Car showrooms do love to make assumptions! We went out to test drive a car, OH drove it first, very carefully, rarely into top gear. He then suggested that I drive it, this seemed to surprise the saleman, he was even more surprised when I took off like Lewis on a bad day.
We were once looking for a hi-fi unit, years ago and I asked what some feature actually meant, all the salesman did was read the label, he had no idea what it meant at all.

Ugh, I've had this a few times - as a serious cyclist I really resent being directed towards the "ladies" selection. I've never met a female cyclist yet who rides long distances on a hybrid bike without a crossbar, so I can only assume they think we just want bikes for pottering around town in. Pissed me right off, and I would have reacted just like you did. Possibly following up with some feedback in an email.

I went to a well known computer retailer for a new PC once. My 20 something daughter, dressed in what can only be described as grunge/goth, and my teenage son were with me. My DD was a computer nerd and had worked out beforehand exactly what we needed. I had my walking stick and large shopping trolley with me, as usual for me. We were completely ignored by the entirely male staff. We started looking at the displays and eventually a member of staff came to speak to us. He looked at us very oddly as though we were not credible customers and were unlikely to know what we wanted. My DD had identified exactly what we wanted and reeled it all off. I then said to my DS and DD "go and look at compatible speakers and decide on them whilst the rest is being retrieved from the store room". They did so and I waited at the till. All the items were cashed up and I paid. Suddenly the staff were friendly. One asked "would you like help out to your car madam?"I stashed as much as I could into my shopping trolley. My DS put some in his rucksack and my DD grabbed the biggest package and said, it's OK, we're on the bus". We walked out leaving them standing with mouths gaping. We still laugh about it to this day.

@lampygirl

Always bike shops... I think I’d like to open a specialist women’s bike shop!

Don't think that will always help!

I went to the Liv store at St Pauls(women's specific brand) with a friend as she wanted a new road bike and, as I race bikes a lot, she wanted a second opinion. She enjoys riding as a hobby, so not super competitive, but was looking spend up to £1500. Her boyfriend came along, but more because we went for brunch before.

The shop assistant was horrendous. Not particularly interested and when he was ALL questions directed at her BF who barely knows one end of a bike from the other and wasn't the customer(and no he wasn't paying!).

She did buy one in the end, mainly because she really liked the bike but the service was piss poor especially for a women's specific brand. Part of me wishes she didn't!

But suggesting a step through when asked for a proper roadie is verging on comical it's that ridiculous. I'd complain but certainly wouldn't be going back...

Definitely reasonable. I bought a car at the beginning of the year and thoroughly enjoyed the salesman's confusion when he realised I was a woman, alone, buying my own car without a manly man to make all the important decisions for me. I was quite the curiosity in the showroom. Once he got over his utter shock, though, he was very good and treated me appropriately. If he hadn't, he would have lost his sale.

Bike shops are appalling for this sort of behaviour. I have just recounted your experience to DH (we are both cyclists) and shown him the type of bike you are looking at. He shook his head in despair and then, after a short pause whilst looking at the bike spec said, 'but does she really want disc brakes?'

That is particularly disappointing GrandColombier given the high profile that Liv have. I've found the service in our nearest Giant store to be a bit underwhelming too actually. I've never made a big purchase there but have nipped in for bits and pieces when we've been passing (my current winter road bike is a Liv) and it always seems to be a lot of effort for them to serve me.
I've always tended to avoid big, single brand or national chain bike shops on the grounds that the people who work there are not likely to be particularly invested in the place whereas in an independent local bike shop you are likely to be served by the owner or one of a small number of staff who has more to gain/lose. Plus I do generally try to support small local businesses.Yesterday is the first time I've had really bad service in an independent. Yes, I've been greeted a bit sceptically before but generally after a few minutes conversation most people seem to be able to figure out that I know what I'm talking about but this guy was on another level! It is a relatively new place so I wonder if the current boom has made them a bit cocky. They might not be so fussy about whose money they will take when things get back to normal, but I won't be giving them a second chance to get their hands on any of mine!