It's about so much more than the fucking cupcake

[MyHeadOverfloweth]

NC but a regular poster

I went out today, by myself! A rare occurrence with 2 small children but nevertheless I went out and DH stayed at home with the kids

Having done a bit of shopping (all stuff for the kids and an impromptu purchase of an item of clothing for DH) I decided to treat myself to a cupcake from a posh bakery-it's one of those that is enormous and is literally baked diabetes but being a rare thing I thought I'd get one....I had visions of getting home, sitting down with a cuppa after the kids had gone to bed, and tucking in to the delicious cakey goodness
DH does not like cakes, he doesn't like cupcakes, but I text him anyway to check just in case but no, he did not want one.

Reader, I think you probably know what's coming next...

Kids are in bed, and downstairs I come to find a scene of crumby destruction in front of me. Half the cupcake has gone.
When questioned, he said he 'thought it was leftover because I thought you ate yours when you were out'
I said to him 'You don't even like cupcakes'
And do you know what the bastard said?
'That's why I only ate half'

THATS. WHY. I. ONLY. ATE. HALF.

I have now been accused of making a big deal about it, but in eating half that cupcake I almost feel like he has dropped another crumb on what is a growing pile of moudly yeasty smelly grot.

Sort of lighthearted....but also sort of not

AIBU?

His was a passive aggressive spiteful move to spoil your day. Because you dared to leave him to parent alone.
He didn't want the cake. He didn't want you to enjoy something for yourself.
Remember this date OP, the day the day rose tinted specs dropped.

Sounds like spite because you dared to make him parent.

@MyHeadOverfloweth

Yep, just bit right into it, decided not to have any more, and then put it back in it's box

You were with me being cupcakes when he disappeared OP and your patio for relayed because you had a flood

@MyHeadOverfloweth

Yep, just bit right into it, decided not to have any more, and then put it back in it's box

He just bit half off?! Dirty bugger! Wipe your arse on his new item of clothing.

Sell half of his PS2/ Xbox / Whateverbox games

Burn half of his wardrobe

Scratch one side of his car

Drink half his beer

Serve him half meals

[quote MyHeadOverfloweth]@SisyphusAndTheRockOfUntidiness yes this is correct, absolutely correct

And actually thinking about it he does have previous for eating stuff wot don't belong to him[/quote]
''Previous''
LOL!

I visited a friend in Country {no shops near} bought a choc bar, put it in her fridge.

Get back from long walk...Choc bar Gone

Her hubby took it, ate it ALL.

He was newly diagnosed diabetic and had taken too much insulin so devoured my bar.

I didn't mind, but in your circumstance, I'd buy TWO. Even of DH says he doesn't want one.

So common, this type of thing.

I really feel for you. You did ask he said no and then ate half of it. You sound like a much better person than me. I would have had a melt down over it.
We as mothers normally don't have much free time. We think about everyone before ourselves. You had one cupcake to look forward and he couldn't help himself...

I agree with @FOJN'S comment-

Hmm you are right it's about so much more than a fucking cupcake.

You rarely have a day to yourself, he doesn't do his fair share but today he had to parent his children whilst you did something for you. Why did he think you'd bought a cupcake home if he thought you'd eaten yours whilst you were out and he'd declined? He mentioned you having lunch out as if he was keeping score.

I think sometimes we excuse men for thoughtless behaviour when it's anything but. Call me a cynic but I'd bet he knew that cupcake was your and ate half as a PA way of expressing how pissed off he was about you going out.

It's like a puppy marking it's territory. He knew it was yours, he knew it would ruin it, but he pissed up it anyway.

My DH ate my 'only thing that's dampening the early pregnancy acid reflux twiglets' the other day and only just survived by the skin of his teeth. That was thoughtless, this seems deliberate.

My first ever LTB and for just you

@FOJN

Hmm you are right it's about so much more than a fucking cupcake.

You rarely have a day to yourself, he doesn't do his fair share but today he had to parent his children whilst you did something for you. Why did he think you'd bought a cupcake home if he thought you'd eaten yours whilst you were out and he'd declined? He mentioned you having lunch out as if he was keeping score.

I think sometimes we excuse men for thoughtless behaviour when it's anything but. Call me a cynic but I'd bet he knew that cupcake was your and ate half as a PA way of expressing how pissed off he was about you going out.

Almost exactly what I was going to say but FOJN beat me to it.

"I went out and DH stayed at home with the kids" and eating your cupcake (which he absolutely knew was yours) was your punishment.

Yep it was absolutely a punishment for going out.

Cunt. Ltb

I'm only half joking. I would kick up so such a shit storm he'd ended up leaving me 😂

@MyHeadOverfloweth

Ugh...I assumed he cut half with a knife, like a civilised person would do...
BITING it is too gross.

I agree... Definitely LTB citing unreasonable behaviour.

@aToadOnTheWhole

It's like a puppy marking it's territory. He knew it was yours, he knew it would ruin it, but he pissed up it anyway.

My DH ate my 'only thing that's dampening the early pregnancy acid reflux twiglets' the other day and only just survived by the skin of his teeth. That was thoughtless, this seems deliberate.

Twiglets to most people are like curry to a pisshead. Get a safe for them.

The only fitting punishment for a cake thief is death.
Do you need a hand with your new patio?

Not an accident. He did it on purpose. There's no doubt he knew it was meant just for you.

After the weekend I've had I don't think I'll ever trust a man again. Why are they so.fuckung selfish?

he just doesnt care does he

has previous for this sort of thing so couldnt gve a shit

its not really about the cupcake its about respect

I’d cut the item of clothing you got him in half, leave one part out and says it’s leftovers.

That's so obnoxious and selfish, when he doesn't even like cupcakes! I'd have blown up at him over it, then proceed to give him the cold shoulder until he apologised properly. Don't care if it's "making a scene". Sometimes a scene is what's necessary to get through an especially thick skull.

I'd most definitely treat myself to something very nice (and much more expensive than a cupcake) out of spite. Maybe return his shirt, if possible. Or at the very least, hide it where he can't find it, until you feel more kindly inclined toward him.

I've got a very good spade you can borrow op.
I'll give you an alibi too.
Stealing... STEALING a cupcake deserves a slow painful death!
Bugger it you can borrow my woodchipper to feed him into feet first.

I didn't mind, but in your circumstance, I'd buy TWO. Even of DH says he doesn't want one.

No! He (and all the other food stealing arseholes) are not children who are allowed to change their mind because their forethought isn't developed enough yet. They were asked, they said no. They can fuck off. Why should women have to buy 2 of something just in case the big man decides he's actually wanting one or he decides its his when it clearly isn't?!

Honestly, if I ask DH if he wants something and he says no then he has enough of a brain to realise that if I come home with that thing he didn't want then it's not fucking his! It's really not that difficult.

Return his treat. Buy yourself a treat instead.

@FOJN

Hmm you are right it's about so much more than a fucking cupcake.

You rarely have a day to yourself, he doesn't do his fair share but today he had to parent his children whilst you did something for you. Why did he think you'd bought a cupcake home if he thought you'd eaten yours whilst you were out and he'd declined? He mentioned you having lunch out as if he was keeping score.

I think sometimes we excuse men for thoughtless behaviour when it's anything but. Call me a cynic but I'd bet he knew that cupcake was your and ate half as a PA way of expressing how pissed off he was about you going out.

I know this was all meant to be light-hearted but I really do think this is spot on. He doesn’t like cupcakes, told you he didn’t want one, didn’t check with you about the one in the fridge, and then just bit into it and put it back, as he obviously didn’t really want it himself so much as he wanted to ruin it for you. You may have left him to parent for the day but you STILL carried the mental load all day (buying him clothes he wants as a treat, offering to bring him a cupcake, checking on the children) and all he can do is punish you passive-aggressively because you dared to go out.

That's a message if ever there was one!