It's about so much more than the fucking cupcake

[MyHeadOverfloweth]

NC but a regular poster

I went out today, by myself! A rare occurrence with 2 small children but nevertheless I went out and DH stayed at home with the kids

Having done a bit of shopping (all stuff for the kids and an impromptu purchase of an item of clothing for DH) I decided to treat myself to a cupcake from a posh bakery-it's one of those that is enormous and is literally baked diabetes but being a rare thing I thought I'd get one....I had visions of getting home, sitting down with a cuppa after the kids had gone to bed, and tucking in to the delicious cakey goodness
DH does not like cakes, he doesn't like cupcakes, but I text him anyway to check just in case but no, he did not want one.

Reader, I think you probably know what's coming next...

Kids are in bed, and downstairs I come to find a scene of crumby destruction in front of me. Half the cupcake has gone.
When questioned, he said he 'thought it was leftover because I thought you ate yours when you were out'
I said to him 'You don't even like cupcakes'
And do you know what the bastard said?
'That's why I only ate half'

THATS. WHY. I. ONLY. ATE. HALF.

I have now been accused of making a big deal about it, but in eating half that cupcake I almost feel like he has dropped another crumb on what is a growing pile of moudly yeasty smelly grot.

Sort of lighthearted....but also sort of not

AIBU?

[MarriedtoDaveGrohl]

Next time bring one back and lace it liberally with laxatives. Actually bring two back. Hide the other. Express amazement at his dodgy tum.

Oh and buy yourself clothing. Not him.

[TheDuchessofMalfy]

I was wondering about whether he used a knife too, as obviously worse if he just bit it.

Also, he didn’t think it was spare, as that was why he only ate half. If he didn’t like it surely he’d have left it alone?

[yecannyshoveyergranny]

I think for the fact that you've described him as selfish and not carrying nearly enough of the load, you should reconsider your life with him. The cupcake is just a sign of the inequality in your lives. You give and he takes, with no regard for you.

If my husband ate my treat I'd be pissed for a second but 1.) he'd be upset that he'd upset me and run out to get me something 2.) he does carry the load and it wouldn't rate in the scheme of our lives. If he was a selfish dick however I can see how it would tip me over.

[CaledoniaCatalan]

@Babysharkdoodoodood well you're very lucky that you have the choice how you manage you're type 2 diabetes. Unfortunately unless someone can produce a new working pancreas for my dc they don't have that choice and flippant comments about cupcakes causing diabetes are really shit. My DC's life threading illness was 100% not caused by them eating a cupcake

[Inkpaperstars]

Leftover from what? If you had not planned to eat it at home why would you have brought it home? He already said he didn't want one.

Fucking twat! So cross on your behalf OP. As minimum you should get another day to yourself asap to go back to Hummingbird, and then the evening to yourself to enjoy it too.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

There's something very primeval about taking someone else's food . . . especially if that food belongs to someone you claim to love and respect . . .

. . . even animals protect their mates and bring them morsels of deliciousness.

Okay - you probably wouldn't thank him for a wildebeest kidney, but you had foraged your own cupcake and were entitled to eat it.

[BunnyLovesBananas]

What a twat.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

did he bite into it.

Don't even think of it!

[MarriedtoDaveGrohl]

And bring a doggy cupcake home. Let him eat half and then say "oh no I can't believe you are that.... it's for x's dog!" He needs to leafn

[VaggieMight]

I don't think you're going to get over this OP. I'm still not over an EX eating MY bacon sandwich on holiday many years ago (he had pre ordered a healthy breakfast). I know this is lighthearted, but I suspect your husband is selfish in other ways too.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

[quote CaledoniaCatalan]@Babysharkdoodoodood well you're very lucky that you have the choice how you manage you're type 2 diabetes. Unfortunately unless someone can produce a new working pancreas for my dc they don't have that choice and flippant comments about cupcakes causing diabetes are really shit. My DC's life threading illness was 100% not caused by them eating a cupcake [/quote]
Babysharkdoodoodood hasn't boiled a baby, and nor has the OP - just let it go, Caledonia

If the thread comments upset you - move on.

[Shizzlestix]

I'm actually half tempted to just return the item of clothing I bought for him, and when he asks just say 'oh I thought you didn't want it'

Do it!

[ContessaDiPulpo]

Years of such behaviour have led to me coming home and saying (with a crazed look in my eye) that yes I have bought a cake and it is MY cake and I asked them if they wanted cake and they said no and so NO ONE IS TO TOUCH MY FUCKING CAKE EVEN IF I DO LEAVE IT UNATTENDED IN THE FRIDGE FOR UP TO 12 HOURS.

They all give me looks of wounded innocence, every time. Fucking bastards.



YANBU OP!!

[EmbarrassingAdmissions]

It was a topic like this but about a cream cake that a pregnant MNetter had been dreaming about all day only to find her DH ate hers (as well as his, she'd bought one for him) that introduced me something like this splendid comment:

LTB?
No. In your condition, that's grounds to [patio] TB.*

[MyHeadOverfloweth]

To the OP who asked if I bought him a treat-yes I did! His treat was the item of clothing that he'd mentioned liking some time ago....and it cost significantly more than the cupcake

And I hate to break it to you all but....he did not use a knife
Nope, just bit right in to it

It's that drip drip drip isn't it? Small things that on the face of it are not 'serious' per se, but over time it all just builds up

[ContessaDiPulpo]

Consistent low-level 'not thinking you matter'. That's the one, yes. The way to combat it is to make it very clear you matter, each time, no matter how many belittling terms are flung in your direction.

[LunchBoxPolice]

Utter gobshite. I’m angry for you.

[GinWithASplashOfTonic]

I feel riled up just reading that.
LTB

And he owes you 2 cupcakes one to replace and one to say sorry for pudding you off

[TheDuchessofMalfy]

Oh my god he bit it!!!

[br1anmay]

Trevor Jordache his arse.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

BIT IT?

HE BIT IT!?

It has been despoiled by his teeth

[MyHeadOverfloweth]

Yep, just bit right into it, decided not to have any more, and then put it back in it's box

[Galaxxy]

I'm not a vindictive person but I'm afraid I would need a petty spiteful revenge for this transgression. He knew. He knew, and he wanted to spoil your thing and punish you. Fuck him. Think carefully on your revenge plot, execute it with precision and enjoy the fallout. He sounds awful.

[MarriedtoDaveGrohl]

Totally Galaxy. I think laxatives would be great just as he heads off to work. You don't want to be clearing it up after all.

[BuffaloCauliflower]

@CaledoniaCatalan

Yabu for the diabetes comment alone. My DC has type 1 diabetes and this has absolutely nothing to do with them eating cupcakes.
I don't know why having a life threatening disease that requires multiple daily injections just to keep them alive is something to joke about

Oh get a grip! My DH is T1, he makes the same jokes about cakes and would find this funny. Most people will know T2 is being referred to here and that it’s lighthearted.