It's about so much more than the fucking cupcake

[MyHeadOverfloweth]

NC but a regular poster

I went out today, by myself! A rare occurrence with 2 small children but nevertheless I went out and DH stayed at home with the kids

Having done a bit of shopping (all stuff for the kids and an impromptu purchase of an item of clothing for DH) I decided to treat myself to a cupcake from a posh bakery-it's one of those that is enormous and is literally baked diabetes but being a rare thing I thought I'd get one....I had visions of getting home, sitting down with a cuppa after the kids had gone to bed, and tucking in to the delicious cakey goodness
DH does not like cakes, he doesn't like cupcakes, but I text him anyway to check just in case but no, he did not want one.

Reader, I think you probably know what's coming next...

Kids are in bed, and downstairs I come to find a scene of crumby destruction in front of me. Half the cupcake has gone.
When questioned, he said he 'thought it was leftover because I thought you ate yours when you were out'
I said to him 'You don't even like cupcakes'
And do you know what the bastard said?
'That's why I only ate half'

THATS. WHY. I. ONLY. ATE. HALF.

I have now been accused of making a big deal about it, but in eating half that cupcake I almost feel like he has dropped another crumb on what is a growing pile of moudly yeasty smelly grot.

Sort of lighthearted....but also sort of not

AIBU?

Choked ffs!

I think not only it took half of the cake, but also he's been first to dig his teeth into it, the one to 'break it', and that is not okay.

No no no no no. Not on our watch OP.

Return the clothing and go on strike. Spend the week eating cupcakes infront of the TV.

The poster who said it was a sugary way to reign you in and spoil your treat was bang on. He's a selfish, and rather nasty chap who wants to make sure you know your place - no extra treats when you've made him actually parent for a day. Even sub consciously he wanted to ruin this for you OP. Think on.

And yes, return that clothing item and use the money to buy yourself a GIANT cupcake!!!

Return the clothes you bought him, spend all the money on cupcakes, then lock him in the garden in the rain while you sit with your feet up in front of the window and eat the whole lot.

What a bellend.

Yabu for the diabetes comment alone. My DC has type 1 diabetes and this has absolutely nothing to do with them eating cupcakes.
I don't know why having a life threatening disease that requires multiple daily injections just to keep them alive is something to joke about

As you know, this is punishment for you having a nice day out on your own and a treat for yourself. Please do think about other similar incidents, where something that you like, valued, wanted, respected etc was ruined in some way. Might be minor each time, you may not have twigged, but the pattern will tell you.

The point I should have walked was when my then boyfriend called me late threatening to end our relationship because i had been out with another man (my good friend, at that time not openly out as gay, but beyond obvious). I wasnt used to dealing with what I called jealousy, but now know as abusive. The patterns tell the truth.

Oh OP, you made a mistake in not enjoying your treat, by yourself, while you were out.

I think he was very, very wrong but I can also understand why he thought it was a spare. You'd phoned to tell him when you were buying (and eating, surely!) your own special cupcake. Aren't these things nicer fresh? With tea or coffee? In the middle of the day? So, there being another cupcake in the fridge that evening, becoming less fresh, would imply that it was a spare - though not his spare. Still worth checking before eating.

He owes you another big chunk of time for you to go out and shop for yourself and then time to go and eat a gorgeous cupcake or even a whole meal somewhere fancy.
I would also deliberately lace something he shouldn’t but will eat with a horrible laxative. Yes that’s mean but as he has form for being a greedy fucker he needs to learn that his actions has consequences.

I know you said 'lighthearted' but it's really not is it. He was spiteful & selfish. The person who is supposed to love you the most & have your back. Yes, it's 'only a cupcake' except it's not, is it...

And men are surprised women go off them.

What a selfish thing to do.

This is one of those moments when a person shows you exactly who they are.

Not very nice.

Things like this give a woman the Ick.

Mind yourself OP

What. A. Cunt

My DH knows he'd be buried under the patio before he'd even digested said cupcake if he attempted that in our house

How unkind of him!

@CaledoniaCatalan

Yabu for the diabetes comment alone. My DC has type 1 diabetes and this has absolutely nothing to do with them eating cupcakes. I don't know why having a life threatening disease that requires multiple daily injections just to keep them alive is something to joke about

I have type 2 which has everything to do with cupcakes!

If I could eat one and half was nabbed, I would murder the guilty party.

Going off to eat a coconut blondie now (only 5g carb) as I'm craving cupcakes.

@CaledoniaCatalan

Yabu for the diabetes comment alone. My DC has type 1 diabetes and this has absolutely nothing to do with them eating cupcakes. I don't know why having a life threatening disease that requires multiple daily injections just to keep them alive is something to joke about

100% agree I can't stand people's ignorance sometimes 🙄

How could it be left over if the whole cake was there? What a knob!

It’s not lighthearted is it? I would repeat the day out next week, saying my treat had been majorly cut short and sarcastically offer to take sandwiches. Then have the whole cupcake /treat sitting down relaxing with a book or magazine.

In total seriousness- that was really shitty behaviour from him. I'd be so upset.

This has really angered me!

Ducks in a row time. Get a shl and take the greedy fucker to the cleaners.

I read about a fast food place that had a menu item "Girlfriend not hungry fries". It was a 1.5 times size.

Reminds me of this youtube clip

It’s very much the sort of thing my ex would do. Even before we married or had kids he got annoyed once because I had “a private source of food” - sandwich fillings for work so I could try to save money.

He had before:

Eaten the sushi Dd made at a sushi making party and was saving some of for later
Always eaten the birthday cakes from kids parties if I’d tried to make them save it til after tea (ie if we’d got home just before tea/ dinner time), or if they hadn’t wanted it straight away and it was in the fridge
Most recently (I’ve heard) eaten all his current girlfriend’s graze boxes and hidden the evidence (the empty boxes)!

Did he use a knife and leave a clean cut or (shudder) did he bite into it.
Obviously you still need to leave him but perhaps your solicitor could add that to the list of qs determining settlement levels.