To not understand why people are still having kids?

[Tobythecat]

I understand that the urge to reproduce is very strong, but the future looks incredibly bleak (I'm not talking about just covid, but also climate change). I fear for the future and what sort of quality of life people will have, considering Automation/competition over jobs, climate change issues (food/water shortages, extreme weather). Honestly, how can you think that everything will be fine and work itself out, or do you just not think about it? Children today will face unimagineable suffering in the next 20-30 years, how can you justify it to them? I wanted children desperately but decided not to because of the above, plus genetic factors.

People mention the war and how people kept having kids, but the threats we face have never been faced before and are multifaceted. Is existing to suffer better than not existing at all?

[fitzbilly]

Nah. I don't buy it. All suffering is imaginable. People will adapt.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Brieandchilli you've got it bang on! My DS is a genius my pfb. Of course he shall save the world.

[DuesToTheDirt]

I agree OP. I have 2 young adult children, but the future seems much bleaker to me than 20 years ago, mainly due to climate change.

[thecognoscenti]

I know exactly what you mean, OP. Humanity has done incomprehensible damage to the planet and quite frankly it would be better for the millions of other species if we did die out. The arrogance of believing that the world would benefit from your particular genes is quite staggering.

[Purpledaisychain]

The belief that life isn't going to be worth living in 20 - 30 years time is the reason why life isn't going to be worth living in 20-30 years time. We still have the opportunity to turn things around, but too many people think "Oh, the world is going to hell in a hand basket, there is nothing I can do,". And that mentality will ultimately be the planet's downfall.

Would you rather we just went extinct? If not, then some of us have to have kids so that they can pick up the gauntlet after we've gone.

[attillathenun]

Here you go OP

Life is for living, I think you need to calm down

[HeresMe]

Unimaginable suffering in future you think this is a new thing, I grew up under threat of nuclear war, people still had kids get a grip.

[madcatladyforever]

Because people do exactly what they want regardless of how it affects others which is how we got ourselves into this mess.

[WorraLiberty]

Perhaps broody women should keep pet cockroaches instead?

[PablosHoney]

Sit down and watch Terminator 1&2 to cheer yourself up, you might be thwarting the birth of the saviour of the world.

[SideAfries]

Because we’re not all hysterical.

[Rigamorph]

It depends on what you see as the 'meaning of life'.
If you believe life should only be lived if you have a guarantee of comfort then yes, don't have children.
If you believe that life is what you make of what you are given and that hardship can make you stronger, and that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved....
then possibly it's better to have lived and struggled than never to have lived at all.
I think questions like this separate the optimists from the pessimists.
(And guess what?! Optimists live longer!)

[LudaChristine]

I'd wager that there have been women, and men, saying the same thing at every single point in the past. The end has always been nigh... get a bell, and ring it in the streets!

The one thing we know about the future is that we know bugger-all about it.

[Rosebel]

They have been banging on about climate change for years with no real repercussions. In fact if you look in to history climate changes anyway or we'd still be in the ice age. It's a bit like when they used to go on about the hole in the Ozone Layer which is never mentioned now.
We've had recession before (not this bad obviously) and come through it. As for Covid, well no one knows how that will work out.
It's not for you to decide the human race should die out.

[Stamen196]

30 here, and so far I love not having kids and don't plan to have any. Roughly 80 percent "selfish" reasons and 20 percent environmental. I don't condemn people that have chosen to, though. I guess I can't judge because I've never experienced that urge that everyone talks about.

[Nedders]

Threads like this trigger my anxiety so, so badly. I will hide the thread but could it not be posted in the climate change section in the future? I really cannot put into words how devastating it is more to read posts like the OP’s.

[Ohtherewearethen]

This really is unnecessarily hysterical. Most of us will still be alive in 20-30 years time so have you berated your parents for having you? There has, sadly, always been unimaginable and immeasurable suffering in the world - you're just in the fortunate enough position to not have experienced it. If you don't want children then don't have them. That is your choice. Those that do want them will continue to have them, as is their choice. This sort of doom mongering used to happen in town centres with people wearing sandwich boards and ringing bells, chanting how the end of the world is nigh. You're just the Mumsnet equivalent of them.

[ChalkDinosaur]

To answer your question at face value - for those who choose (and it's not always a choice) it's the urge to do it. It's hard to describe the power of that.

Also - there are absolutely no guarantees that life will become entirely insufferable in the next generation's lifetime; wiping out the human race altogether would also cause a lot of problems; when people become adults they can always choose to end their own lives if they wish; as individuals we (and the decisions we make) are almost entirely insignificant, so it's not going to make much difference if you have a kid or not, so why not go for the option that brings you joy?

[Shinyletsbebadguys]

Some people choose to make arrogant statements designed to hurt others to justify their own need for sanctimony , usually because it is what they define themselves by and others choose to hope that the future will produce children that are more responsible than we have been.

There has always been dire catastrophe around the corner , life in any form will out. Maybe it won't be the human race who knows.

However I can absolutely tell you this , human beings whose existence is to guilt and shame others over a faux cause based agenda will not be part of making a positive future happen. I do not believe having children is a requirement to be a woman , nor do I believe that those without children for any reason are any less any more than I believe those who procreate should be lambasted by those who need to push others to feel better. However I do believe that the attempt to use emotive language that implies blame makes me very sure op that you are not a person who wishes for genuine change. That is far more of a problem.

I hope you are genuinely proud that your words could well have impacted don frightened anxious people reading this, it will probably have achieved what you wanted and I hope that little bit inside you that needs validation feels better... for a short time.

[40andginger]

__Children today will face unimagineable suffering in the next 20-30 years

Really? What kind of unimagineable suffering?

[PomBearSandwich]

It’s lucky that those who were alive during the Black Death didn’t feel the same.

Or those during WW1, or WW2. Or the Cold War and the invent of nuclear warfare.

If they had, a lot of us wouldn’t be here!

Mankind has always gone through shit, but we carry on. It’s what we do.

[PablosHoney]

@Nedders I hope you see this before you hide the thread, Don’t take this on board.

[Stamen196]

@Nedders Why is it devastating/anxiety inducing?

[Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd]

So you had yourself sterilised without having had children yourself then, OP?

[CloudyVanilla]

Because humans are supposed to be the keepers of the earth. We are the only creatures intelligent enough to interpret science and act on it. I mean no disrespect to older generations (I'm 26), but a lot of influential climate change deniers are of Trump's age.

While I do get where you are coming from, the alternative you are suggesting is that we collectively fuck up the planet, and then stop creating new young people who are actively invested in helping heal the planet.

We can change things but the reality is it is actually the younger people who are interested in doing this. Also, you mentioned it in your post but the instinct to have a family is incredibly strong. It's not something to be sniffed at. Also, just off the top of my head, in the UK specifically we have an aging population. We actually have a problem with people not having proportionately enough children to support an increasingly old population. Obviously that's not the case in every part of the world and I do think it's becoming the norm to have less and less children than we historically would have.

And these are just opinions from an uneducated person on the matter. I genuinely don't believe not having babies is the answer to our problems, and I'm not just saying that to justify to myself that I have 3 young DC.