To not understand why people are still having kids?

[Tobythecat]

I understand that the urge to reproduce is very strong, but the future looks incredibly bleak (I'm not talking about just covid, but also climate change). I fear for the future and what sort of quality of life people will have, considering Automation/competition over jobs, climate change issues (food/water shortages, extreme weather). Honestly, how can you think that everything will be fine and work itself out, or do you just not think about it? Children today will face unimagineable suffering in the next 20-30 years, how can you justify it to them? I wanted children desperately but decided not to because of the above, plus genetic factors.

People mention the war and how people kept having kids, but the threats we face have never been faced before and are multifaceted. Is existing to suffer better than not existing at all?

[ArabellaScott]

Children today will face unimagineable suffering in the next 20-30 years, how can you justify it to them?

All people face suffering. I don't know if it's 'unimagineable'. At worst, they're going to die? I mean, (spoiler) we're all going to die.

Climate change - I think the rate and the consequences and effects are almost impossible to predict.

Life manifests itself, we go on while we can.

[thecognoscenti]

@Puffalicious

God, OP, you have your own, personal issues, it seems. Don't go bringing everyone else down to your level of doom and gloom. I have 3 DC- they are fabulous and bring enormous joy to me and my family ; you or anyone else will not temper that joy.

Go be sanctimonious elsewhere.

@Puffalicious you've come onto the OP's thread... to tell the OP to go away? Interesting choice.

[nicky7654]

You need Therapy !!!

[MajesticWhine]

OP you are fear mongering and shame-dumping. Im sorry about your experiences, but it's not constructive to project misery into others.

[EinsteinaGogo]

Hi OP

Reading your update, I think you have a fair few (understandable) issues are lashing out through hurt and sadness.

I'm very sorry for your situation ❤️

[HeresMe]

All these people on about climate we heard same thing 30 years ago guess what it's not much changed and it won't in next 30 despite what the media and XR tell you.

[sqirrelfriends]

@thecognoscenti I think it's a fair point, this is a parenting website, yes everyone is welcome but I'd think it goes against the grain somewhat to suggest that all of our children will experience unimaginable suffering.

[ChavvySexPond]

I wouldn't have children now OP.

I used to have so much more optimism for humanity.

But now Denialism has taken hold. And you can't fix problems you deny are happening.

[DilloDaf]

Why did people in the 17th century have kids when the life expectancy was 35, and disease was rife?

Because 17c women didn't have the luxury of choosing whether or not to have children.
Some posters seem to think reliable contraception has existed for hundreds of years .

[ReeseWitherfork]

Are you being unreasonable to not understand why people are still having kids?

Yes, I think so.

Did you post on AIBU because you want to debate it or because you’re not sure if your aforementioned MH issues are clouding your judgement?

[sharpeidiem]

Climate change is real but who wins if we live our lives in fear? Use a bloody recycling bin, try and walk more than drive but nobody wins if we as a society die out.

Are you a childless vegan, who doesn't own a car or use transport, who never ever purchases single use plastic or spray deodorant and who produces their own clothes? Because if not it's a little sanctimonious.

Everyone should do their best- and a lot of people's bests involves teaching their children about being eco friendly.

[Dominicgoings]

@DilloDaf

Why did people in the 17th century have kids when the life expectancy was 35, and disease was rife?

Because 17c women didn't have the luxury of choosing whether or not to have children.
Some posters seem to think reliable contraception has existed for hundreds of years .

Yeah female bodily autonomy was SO prolific back in the day 🙄

[Ishihtzuknot]

Who are you to judge what other people do. At the end of the day we have to carry on. The next generation could fix so much that the past generations caused I think it’s important to keep having children. Where would we be if we stopped producing? Let humans die out because you don’t agree with it? I have two elder children before you presume I’m a baby making machine.
I understand where you are coming from, but as you said yourself people carried on during the war and most of us wouldn’t exist if they hadn’t. It doesn’t make you superior because you chose not to have children, I’m sure your carbon footprint could be lowered.
I’m a ‘glass is half full’ person and live with positivity that the world can improve, that we can’t just stop living our lives on the chance the world will crash, try it you might enjoy it.

[Wakemeupwhenthisisover]

@Tobythecat

Calm down OP no one knows what’s going to happen, I remember 20 years ago people saying by 2020 the world would be over ect due to go along warming, I reckon in 30 years things will worse than now (to what extent we can’t know) but not apocalyptic.

[SomewhereEast]

I'm a historian by training (left academia a while back as the workload is crazy), who specialized in early 20th century Europe. I'm honestly a bit baffled by this weird secular End Times narrative so many of us are buying into right now. If you really want to pick a time & place when people should've thought twice about reproducing, then I give you continental Europe in the 1890s, particularly Central & Eastern Europe, which is ironic, in that the 1890s themselves probably felt like a pretty good decade to have children. Yet that generation lived through / died in two vicious World Wars, Spanish Flu, the Holocaust & other assorted campaigns of ethnic cleansing, communist dictatorships, fascist dictatorships etc etc. Some lucky countries got a bit of extra misery for good measure - the Ukrainians really lucked out with a Famine and Chernobyl on top of everything else (tangent but if you really want to read about all this, than Timothy Snyder's Bloodlands is a good start). And that's just Europe....Cambodia, China, Korea, Vietnam & most of Africa had pretty 'fun' 20th centuries too. On the other hand, when I was born in Ireland at the end of the 70s we had a shattered economy, mass emigration, huge unemployment, a savage civil war raging in part of our island and the whole specter-of-nuclear-war thing, yet the 90s brought unimagined change and we ended up being probably the most fortunate generation in the entire history of our country. We don't really know quite what the future holds, but humanity has muddled through all sorts of horrors and somehow kept creating art and falling in love and raising children and celebrating milestones and all the rest. Yes I know people will say "but Climate Change could wipe half us out", but then so could nuclear war, and everyone born between the 50s and the 80s lived under that shadow. Even Chernobyl could have actually been much much worse.

[JumpingJamboree]

It is a concern about the future but I just see it as things will have to change if we want to avoid extinction by climate change etc and I am pretty sure no leaders in this world want that to happen, even Trump, so they are taking/will take the necessary steps to stop it from happening by banning plastics, more electric cars, more eco friendly electricity, clean air initiatives etc.

However, I think it is very weird for people to judge others based on the fact they have decided to have/not have children. If no one reproduced for fear of the future, we would all go extinct anyway!

[majesticallyawkward]

Climate change, pandemics, recessions are not new. New generations bring change, who are you to declare we're all doomed? Perhaps Covid will be catalyst for a period of rapid change (the period post- Black Death did) and these things will become more of a priority globally. I'm pretty sure during all other the other big events there were people screaming hysterically about the end of the world just like the OP and here we all are.

We just don't know what will happen, climate change can still be pulled back. The children born now could do amazing things for humans, our planet and the animals on it. They could even be the generation to start colonies on other planets.

However all that said, I do think more people should stop and think about the consequences of their actions before choosing to have larger families.

[Alabamawhirly1]

Wow, I bet you're fun at a dinner party.

Some of us arnt all doom and gloom and just live in the now.

There is a chance there won't be "unimaginable suffering" and actually things will just work out OK.

[ScarMatty]

What a depressing thread.

[OhCaptain]

The thing is, there are plenty of children in the world already living in unimaginable suffering.

And you're absolutely right that the effect of climate change will be catastrophic. Sadly, the countries that will feel this the most don't tend to have access to sex education and healthcare that we do.

In short, your western children should predominantly be ok.

You're not wrong though about it not being a bad thing for the human race to die out. We are parasitical and have destroyed the planet.

But I think even knowing that it's not something people would ordinarily take into consideration for day to day life, if you see what I mean.

Jemima down the road isn't going to decide not to sprog because the planet is on fire, for example.

I'm sure the best thing for the earth would be if every person living on it decided to stop breeding. But that's never going to happen. So we'll adapt as lots of parasites do.

[Aloethere]

Your posts are really sad OP. I'm sorry you feel this way. I hope you can find some support to help you realise that life can be great.

[OhCaptain]

I remember 20 years ago people saying by 2020 the world would be over

Have you been awake for this year?

Joking aside, isn't it something like 100 corporations who produce 71% of emissions? Those are the changes we need to focus on. Not people reproducing.

[OhCaptain]

*though over population is a problem, too. No denying it.

[newnameforthis123]

Part biological urge, part societal expectation.

As an adopted child (well, adult now) I do wish more people would consider adoption of children who already exist but don't have a safe, forever home. But I appreciate I'm biased on that and it's a difficult journey that isn't for everyone.