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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not understand why people are still having kids?

688 replies

Tobythecat · 20/09/2020 19:21

I understand that the urge to reproduce is very strong, but the future looks incredibly bleak (I'm not talking about just covid, but also climate change). I fear for the future and what sort of quality of life people will have, considering Automation/competition over jobs, climate change issues (food/water shortages, extreme weather). Honestly, how can you think that everything will be fine and work itself out, or do you just not think about it? Children today will face unimagineable suffering in the next 20-30 years, how can you justify it to them? I wanted children desperately but decided not to because of the above, plus genetic factors.

People mention the war and how people kept having kids, but the threats we face have never been faced before and are multifaceted. Is existing to suffer better than not existing at all?

OP posts:
DameFanny · 20/09/2020 21:13

"Have you ever considered that a child born today might be one who finds solutions to tomorrow's problems? That there is only hope in having children."

A child born today will be far too young to do anything about our immediate climate crisis

missmouse101 · 20/09/2020 21:13

I agree. I'd never have them now. Mine are 20 and 18 and I fear enough for their futures.

12frogsincoats · 20/09/2020 21:14

Why would the human species dying out be a bad thing? We are one species, compared to the hundreds who have died out because of us, and the potentially hundreds of thousands more that will die out in the future...because of us.

What makes us so superior that means we are more deserving of existence than hundreds of thousands of other species?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 20/09/2020 21:15

I am pregnant at the moment. Was completely unplanned. All I can think now is why am I bringing another child into this world. I actually feel a bit guilty for having children now. I am worried about their futures.

PablosHoney · 20/09/2020 21:15

@TikkaBoo, that’s awful for you (no sarcasm intended)

sharpeidiem · 20/09/2020 21:16

@TikkaBoo

as long as you include yourself in that non usefulness.

Oh god, yes!

I'm not depressed, no. I do think life is pretty pointless though - as I think a lot of people do. Most people who I know who have kids do so because they think the same, so they have kids to try and add some meaning - the anti-logic of which just blows my mind.

I suppose that's what keeps it all going though, start to find life pointless, so try and inject meaning in the form of kids, who start to find life pointless, so they have some kids to try and inject meaning...

Man, you do not lead a fulfilling life if this is how you are feeling. If you want to talk cosmically then sure - we're ants on a planet that will probably go extinct on at some point (unless the sun dies first). But the small moments of pure joy and happiness, or contentedness mean so much to ourselves and the people around us. I wouldn't have kids to give myself purpose, nor would most people - you'd have kids partially because you have a biological urge to and partially because you will love them and look after them.
Wibblypiggly · 20/09/2020 21:16

I really needed this thread today. Suxh a beacon of hope...🙄

Right little ray of sunshine, aren’t you, OP?

Got kids, have ya?

WILTY43 · 20/09/2020 21:16

Right, I'm deleting MN! Who needs to read this shit on a Sunday evening!

Newmumatlast · 20/09/2020 21:16

@TikkaBoo

as long as you include yourself in that non usefulness.

Oh god, yes!

I'm not depressed, no. I do think life is pretty pointless though - as I think a lot of people do. Most people who I know who have kids do so because they think the same, so they have kids to try and add some meaning - the anti-logic of which just blows my mind.

I suppose that's what keeps it all going though, start to find life pointless, so try and inject meaning in the form of kids, who start to find life pointless, so they have some kids to try and inject meaning...

To be honest I didn't have a child because I found life pointless. I get alot of joy from life. I love my job. It is a job which really benefits society as do the taxes I pay as a result of it. I volunteer. I have made a positive difference in a lot of lives. That was all the case before a child. So not everyone has children because they need to feel that there is a point or usefulness to them.
TikkaBoo · 20/09/2020 21:16

that’s awful for you (no sarcasm intended)

My friends who are parents have a worse time in my view, watching the suffering their kids go through in a world that THEY forced them into.

ReeseWitherfork · 20/09/2020 21:16

@ktsc89 I was agreeing with you, pointing out the person who replied to you was daft to think we wouldn’t become extinct. You were spot on, if we stop producing, we become extinct. Simple isn’t it. Congratulations on your pregnancy, your baby will bring love and happiness into the world, good enough reason IMO 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bunkumum · 20/09/2020 21:17

Hang on...I just realised that I’M still going to be alive in 20-30 years (hopefully) sod the children, can you let me in on what unimaginable suffering I’m going to face? Is Piers Morgan going to be on every channel? But I’ve imagined that now, so it can’t be that...phew. I reckon I’ll take my chances and so will my DC. They are a bit big to stuff back in there now.

PablosHoney · 20/09/2020 21:17

And you really can’t speak for why people had their kids, I certainly didn’t have mine because I felt life was pointless, quite the opposite.

ReeseWitherfork · 20/09/2020 21:17

My friends who are parents have a worse time in my view, watching the suffering their kids go through in a world that THEY forced them into.
Crikey, what suffering?

Newmumatlast · 20/09/2020 21:18

@DameFanny

"Have you ever considered that a child born today might be one who finds solutions to tomorrow's problems? That there is only hope in having children."

A child born today will be far too young to do anything about our immediate climate crisis

This is true but they may continue what others start
ReeseWitherfork · 20/09/2020 21:18

They are a bit big to stuff back in there now.
😂

PablosHoney · 20/09/2020 21:18

Where are you living that all the parents you know are watching their kids suffer on a daily basis?

Ilovegreentomatoes · 20/09/2020 21:18

I think everyone is in a bleak mood at the moment due to covid. Let's face it things are pretty miserable right now but I'm hoping the future will get better.

sharpeidiem · 20/09/2020 21:18

@PablosHoney

And you really can’t speak for why people had their kids, I certainly didn’t have mine because I felt life was pointless, quite the opposite.
Pablo -- maybe a weird moment in this burning dumpster fire of a thread, but I just wanted to let you know you seem pretty switched on & empathetic. That's it, I just wanted to chuck in some honest positivity in here
TikkaBoo · 20/09/2020 21:18

So not everyone has children because they need to feel that there is a point or usefulness to them.

No - I get that. There are people who squeeze every drop of joy out of life and always see the good in things. They're exactly the kind of people who make great parents and who should fill the world with kids.

Most people though? Nah. Just get through life as best you can and don't drag anyone else into it!

pollylocketpickedapocket · 20/09/2020 21:18

@Tobythecat

I understand that the urge to reproduce is very strong, but the future looks incredibly bleak (I'm not talking about just covid, but also climate change). I fear for the future and what sort of quality of life people will have, considering Automation/competition over jobs, climate change issues (food/water shortages, extreme weather). Honestly, how can you think that everything will be fine and work itself out, or do you just not think about it? Children today will face unimagineable suffering in the next 20-30 years, how can you justify it to them? I wanted children desperately but decided not to because of the above, plus genetic factors.

People mention the war and how people kept having kids, but the threats we face have never been faced before and are multifaceted. Is existing to suffer better than not existing at all?

You do you love and let everyone else do them. And get help, you need it.
12frogsincoats · 20/09/2020 21:19

@Bunkumum

Hang on...I just realised that I’M still going to be alive in 20-30 years (hopefully) sod the children, can you let me in on what unimaginable suffering I’m going to face? Is Piers Morgan going to be on every channel? But I’ve imagined that now, so it can’t be that...phew. I reckon I’ll take my chances and so will my DC. They are a bit big to stuff back in there now.
Google the effects of climate change and you'll get your answer pretty quickly.
flameprincess · 20/09/2020 21:19

I fell pregnant before covid kicked off and this thread is really upsetting Sad It's been hard enough going through pregnancy with limited appointments and social interaction but thanks for the added guilt that my child is doomed to a life of misery.

Bufferingkisses · 20/09/2020 21:19

I didn't want kids because kids would face unimaginable suffering in the next 20 - 30 years... mine are now mid 20s... My reason were the same as yours. 20/30 years on, nothing has really changed. Certainly not armegeddon as we were promised.

thecognoscenti · 20/09/2020 21:19

@12frogsincoats

Why would the human species dying out be a bad thing? We are one species, compared to the hundreds who have died out because of us, and the potentially hundreds of thousands more that will die out in the future...because of us.

What makes us so superior that means we are more deserving of existence than hundreds of thousands of other species?

Exactly. Humans do so much more harm than good.
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