Am I? Flatmate beef

[AuntieJoyce]

DD has been living with me during lockdown and has recently returned to her London shared flat (2 people). During the last 6 months there has been a change in the flatmate and new flatmate has had the place to herself for three months. DD has been paying her rent and half the bills throughout.

Now DD is back, things are kicking off and I have offered to get the MN opinion as she is not on MN. Sorry seem to have lost ability to set up voting (is this a premium thing now?)

DD is working three days in office, two days in flat whilst sitting in the living room. Flatmate has had a go at her as she can't hold patient calls whilst DD is working in the lounge and it is apparently unprofessional to hold these in her bedroom. So far so missing the irony of making DD work in her bedroom instead. DD has a few calls but both of us have worked comfortably in one room for 6 months, using headsets when we need to be confidential.

Today it has kicked off again. DD has an ensuite and pays £200 more than flatmate for her room because of this. Flatmate has use of house bathroom. DD used the flat bathroom today as she was in the middle of cleaning hers and needed to go.

Flatmate has now texted and asked her not to use "her bathroom". DD has pointed out respectfully that it is not "her bathroom" it is on the landing for both to use. Flatmate says "given yours is attached to your room there is no need to use the other one"

This isn't us is it?

Surely it's easy enough to arrange the bedroom so that it's not obvious you're working in a bedroom? Unless they are so small that you can only sit on the bed....

As for the bathroom I agree with you, if flatmate wants sole use of a bathroom she should pay an even share of the rent.

They either need a rule that wfh is only in bedrooms or they need a schedule for wfh lounge use.

I hung a curtain behind my desk in my home office because it doubles as my craft room and no one needs to see the explosion that happens in there. (We don’t have the option of setting a faux background at work)

I disagree with other posters. If she is paying 200 to have her own bathroom them the flatmate is effectively getting her own bathroom without paying for it.

Sounds like flatmate doesn't like her being back and it's all a bit petty.

tara66, I've rented many flats in my time and have NEVER seen anything like this. I can imagine a landlord doing it even less than I can imagine anyone else doing it!

@tara66

Somebody - presume the land lord - should have written up in minute detailed NOTES 1,2,3 etc. who has use of what, where and when - down to which shelves in the fridge each one uses. This list should have been given to each tenant when they signed the rental agreement and pinned up in a prominent place too- otherwise everybody will grab whatever they can as ''theirs''..

I've lived in four different rented shared flats over the years and have never once needed this and have managed to have a conversation with other people and organise it ourselves. Surely people don't live like this.

They both sound a bit annoying and inflexible tbh.

@IntermittentParps

tara66, I've rented many flats in my time and have NEVER seen anything like this. I can imagine a landlord doing it even less than I can imagine anyone else doing it!

Great minds

Yep

Somebody - presume the land lord - should have written up in minute detailed NOTES 1,2,3 etc. who has use of what, where and when - down to which shelves in the fridge each one uses. This list should have been given to each tenant when they signed the rental agreement and pinned up in a prominent place too- otherwise everybody will grab whatever they can as ''theirs''

Perhaps the communal areas in general but they wouldn't update the tenancy everytime a flat sharer moved in or out and even if it's furnished with a fridge they would not say which shelves could be used. To update for minor detsils every change would not be cost effective and people would not wish to resign another amended tenancy agreement potentially several times a year. What would happen if the flatmates didn't stick to their fridge shelf? Landlords would not risk petty people ringing about such things anyway. His interest in a furnished flats furniture is inventory log so tenants who break stuff or leave with things can face financial penalties and possible court action. I think you were possibly using an example with the fridge but it wasn't the best example I am afraid 🙂

I think there are some weird responses on here. The Living room and main bathroom are communal spaces, therefore your daughter is entitled to use them.

Flatmate sounds spoilt.

The shared bathroom is a shared bathroom and it’s her responsibility to find a solution for home working. She shouldn’t automatically be able to claim the living room all the time just because of the nature of her work. You can disguise bedding for the camera.

Flatmate is being unreasonable. Can't believe some people think your daughter is.

They need to end the flatshare. Not using your own bathroom because it's mid clean is weird. IME this stuff gets worse & life's to short. But in these odd times people need to be flexible, surely you can station your laptop so no bed is in view for confidential calls . You need a sharer who is the same re 'terlritory', hours they keep, acceptable noise level, acceptable tidiness level.

Why are there so many strange people on this thread with no understanding of how rentals work?

Of course your daughter is not being unreasonable. The living room is a communal space therefore if they both prefer using the living room to work, they need to figure out a way of ensuring calls are private (maybe the person needing to do a private call can go to their bedroom for the duration of that call).

The bathroom is a communal bathroom. It’s your DDs bathroom as much as it’s her flat mate’s. She can use it whenever she wants as can her guests if she invited any over. Your DD just needs to make sure that the cleaning responsibilities for communal areas are split equally.

Your DDs flat mate is taking the piss and your DD needs to put her foot down as gently as possible (since she still needs to live with this woman).