Why do people on here always bash (apparently) higher earning posters with money issue?

[strivingtosucceed]

There have been a few recent threads where posters have complained about money issues they were facing either as a result of job loss, or reduction of hours. Other posters have then unhelpfully piled on the OP with comments like 'this is tone deaf' or 'such a stealth brag' and going on the call the OP vile names.

Can we not understand that everyone is allowed to have their own money issues, and that there will always be someone better or worse off. Only the person wearing the shoe knows where it pinches, and giving them a headache about how privileged they should feel doesn't help.

Case in point, i'm now unemployed due to COVID. I've held off on applying for some roles because they were much lower paid than my previous salary at £23-26k. If push comes to shove then i'll definitely start applying to them, but would I be stealth boasting if I posted this exact dilemna??

For some yes you would op. Personally I can’t get past the ones who always post that anyone who is a high earner is a liar. Like they can’t even imagine it. It’s really not worth paying attention to. Everyone has their own demons and sometimes it comes out in their posts.

It seems to me like it just becomes a race to the bottom, ' oh OP you don't know you're born, I raised seven kids on £7.50 a week and we managed.'

Surely if a post upsets you, just move on to the next one?

Lots of spite and jealousy. Too many people don’t celebrate those who do well in life, or feel happy for them. It’s a shame really.

I know what you mean but some threads are just goady. " We only earn £100k a year etc" - that's great, good for you but its not a reality for many people through no fault of their own. Its not necessarily the issue but how it can come across.

I can never understand why people go on about MN being middle class.
It really really isn't.
And yanbu OP.
It seems there's a handful of people whose chips are that bloody heavy they must walk lop-sided.
(I am a teacher in Italy. Means I am paid only for the exact hours I teach, no sick pay, no holiday pay. Have to apply for my job every year. DP works in a warehouse)
For some I'm fucking Kate Middleton.

I think ultimately because if shit gets bad you can just sell your house, rent a flat and ride it out.

For many other people financial worries mean on the breadline and facing homelessness

Presumably because they manage their finances better than they do, so they attack their moral failing.

MN loves a moral failing. See also envy.

Absolute rubbish!!! MNs can’t stand people who don’t live in the real world- of course if your outgoings outstrip your incomings people have money troubles BUT for grown adults not to be able to survive on x amount of money just on luxuries smacks of ignorance

High earners struggling with money is almost always due to bad budgeting and over spending. They can make changes as money buys you choice.
People on crap wages struggle because of their crap wages. They’ve often run out of options.

I said this to someone yesterday. It's like we aren't allowed to be better off any more without feeling guilty all the time.

No one besides me and dh knows what our household income is. It's £90k but the person I spoke to yesterday doesn't know the exact figure, just ball park that we have a significantly higher income than theirs.

The conversation was ended because their tone smacked of snide jealousy and I said I'm not ashamed that we have money, we don't brag or appear showy, they have no idea what we give to charity or how much we have in savings. They just humphed and walked off.

I agree some people don't seem to be able to manage their money well and that can be frustrating when you have less. But others have made decisions based on certain assumptions, like not having a global pandemic or their partner not leaving/dying.

It's easy to see how someone earning even a decent salary could start to struggle if their income was suddenly reduced. And I don't think there's anything wrong with someone realising they haven't got the foggiest about finances and wanting some advice whether they're income is £15k or £50k.

On the thread about the £1500, it just seemed as if people were taking the opportunity to have a go. You'd have thought she stole the money from the posters themselves. I was quite sad.

I think some people like to think that nobody is well off because they aren’t. They can’t accept that others had different opportunities, access to education, or just made different choices to them.

Because it's very insensitive. A lot of people struggle to make ends meet in a minimum wage job but just get on with it. People having a load of surplus cash is going to annoy others.
A lot of the time it's bragging because who really wants to know if they have too much spare money or if they are down by £2k due to Covid.
What are, the posters meant to do? Nothing we can do so yes it's pointless and insensitive to people who are actually struggling.
I don't usually comment on them though.

Lots of things are not a reality for others.

I have 2kg of beef in my fridge. Many don't.
I have 5 fingers on each hand.
I have both legs.
I can see without super thick glasses.
I have all organs and they appear to work ok.

Literally every person on a planet has more of something or has it better in some way than someone else. Absolutely everyone.

People need to realise that and stop shitting on people who have more with "omg that's not even my income". Well it's not OP's fault, innit.

As I said before. Unless you have last tenner till the end of the year and 1 chicken to feed family of 16, don't dare to post.🤷🏻

Hmm I can see both sides. Genuinely, if a poster can't "manage" on £1500 disposable income (after bills, food etc), I am incredulous that they have the intellect and resilience to hold down a job at such a high level. I get that it's all relative, etc etc, but any old thicko like me (earning £9.20 per hour) can work out that if there's a pay cut of a few thousand a year, there'll have to be corresponding lifestyle changes and that if those lifestyle changes are simply cutting out having a brand new car or switching from Ocado to Asda, then really, you're top of the fucking heap.

On the other hand, change is hard whatever hand the lottery of life has dealt and I do get that need to bounce ideas around with people with a veneer of anonymity.

Because people haves startling lack of common sense? “Can I live on £1500 a month after food and bills are paid for?” Surely it takes a tiny amount of critical thinking to answer that question? Yes, you can, you can afford quite a lot of things but not all of them.

YANBU. It’s an awful race to the bottom here on MN. So many people come on here with genuine problems and ask for help in getting a new perspective to their money problems and are nearly kicked to death for earning more than the median wage. It’s gross.

@strivingtosucceed what’s the £1500 thread?

Because it's very insensitive. A lot of people struggle to make ends meet in a minimum wage job but just get on with it. People having a load of surplus cash is going to annoy others.

Currently people in any job including minimum wage jobs are probably in a better position than me. I can't even get reasonable benefits because I rent from a close family member in almost central London. Even in this position, I wouldn't go to a thread of people complaining about their job and tell them to be grateful they have one.

@PatsEarrings

High earners struggling with money is almost always due to bad budgeting and over spending. They can make changes as money buys you choice. People on crap wages struggle because of their crap wages. They’ve often run out of options.

I think this is very true. Lots of the threads I've seen often have the OP completely unwilling to reduce spending on things that are unimaginable to many average earners. Things like private schools, extra curricular activities etc.

And I agree that jealousy comes into to.

I am just surprised A&Es aren't much busier. With all the people tripping over each other racing to the bottom...

I have to admit that the phrase "you have to cut your cloth" drives me a bit mad. As if most people could just stop buying caviar or something. People make financial commitments - mortgages, car repayments, etc- and suddenly not having the money is a nightmare. It isn't exactly easy to just tell your bank "sorry - no mortgage this month".

As I said before. Unless you have last tenner till the end of the year and 1 chicken to feed family of 16, don't dare to post.

OMG, i'm almost crying here!

@JingsMahBucket

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4024963-1-5k-disposable-income-a-month-is-enough

@riotlady funny enough OP was agreeing with that sentiment. It was her husband that wasn't on board. I don't think with a household income of £40k she was rolling in it either, she just happened to have lower expenses and she actually forgot her other (necessary) recurring expenses because they weren't household bills.

Because it is galling to be on a low income and hear a person on a high income complain about their lot. Because posters will say in all seriousness that £80k is not a high income. Because if you honestly think that having £18,000 a year left over after essential expenses are met is a concern you need a short sharp lesson in reality. Because if you work with families in the lowest income deciles who manage to make it from week to week and then hear someone in the highest income deciles complain that they have insufficient funds to manage it makes you sick.

There's a difference between "eat the rich" and "I am intolerant when hearing the rich whine about not having enough".

@riotlady

Because people haves startling lack of common sense? “Can I live on £1500 a month after food and bills are paid for?” Surely it takes a tiny amount of critical thinking to answer that question? Yes, you can, you can afford quite a lot of things but not all of them.

Yeah, this.

And no, 'most' people aren't swimming in caviar and can cut back on that - but if you're used to buying food in Waitrose and eating out every Sunday, then you cut back on that. If you need a forum to tell you that you're a bit of a idiot really.

(Not referring to the above mentioned thread as I know the husband was the one with the problem with it!)

Things like private schools, extra curricular activities etc.

Suddenly pulling your child out of private school mid term can't be an easy option can it? Likewise others saying 'you can just sell your house' as if houses can be sold on ebay. These are things with hugely long term family effects, you can't blame people for being reticent to rush in.

Because it is galling to be on a low income and hear a person on a high income complain about their lot.

So what should these people do? Keep their emotions bottle up?