AIBU OR MY "FRIEND" HAS LOST THE PLOT?

[Greenmandm]

My DD always liked to play with trucks, cars, planes and stuff like that and doesn't like dolls at all. Also I never liked to dress her much in pink as I like all colours and she does also. She's 5. My
so called friend has 2 DD and she's all about dressing them only in pink making them "princesses".
She started telling me I should not let my DD play with trucks and boys toys as she will grow into a weirdo and i should dress her like a princess because she's a girl. She also bought my DD a few dolls on her birthday when I told her she doesn't like them.
AIBU to let my DD play with whatever she likes?

My dd is only 11 months but I have a 2.5yr old boy and so she plays most of the time with tractors, cars, planes etc thinking about she doesn't play with anything really girly lol

I do like pink but she had only a couple of pink things, she really olive skinned and looks beautiful in yellow and white and she wears all different colours. Mainly romper suits rather than dresses as just easier.

Nope. YANBU. I was never a girlie girl and spent much of my time playing with Lego and toy cars when I was a kid.

I'd like to think I'm not a weirdo (though who isn't slightly weird to some extent!) and have done pretty well in life.

Your friend has some strange views and I feel sorry for her little girl who may feel like she has to suppress her feelings for what she enjoys and likes.

No you are not unreasonable. Please do not start encouraging your daughter to adopt stereotypical clothing or interests, she is her own person and should be encouraged to express her personality without gender constraints or judgement.

I fear for the next generation if children if this nonsense becomes increasingly common.

Yes she has lost the plot, but then I guess this may be why 'gender*' reveal parties are a thing because people want to pigeon hole kids before they are even born

I also hear people say 'dress UP girls' but boys wear clothes - what is wrong with girls they need to be dressed up? and 'I want a princess' why is it assume a girl want to be a princess, wear makeup. go to beauty spa's, wear fake tan, have their nails done etc.

*yes sex is a more appropriate word

If you've ever so much as sniffed Mumsnet before you'll know 100% that YANBU.

She's much more likely to become a 'weirdo', i.e. have low self esteem, find it hard to fit in etc if she's made to feel wrong about what she enjoys.

Tomboys often turn into women who love clothes and make up as well as football and gaming. And if they never like girly things, it doesn't matter anyway.

Your friend is out of touch and has lost the plot.

Parents who turn their little darlings into "princes" and "princesses" do not realise what harm they are doing. Its a bloody hard world out there and over entitled mollycoddled kids are just not going to cut it as adults. They will grow up weak and soft and thinking the world owes them a living. It doesnt.

That's awful! I'm not a girly girl one bit. I'm into cars, gaming etc and I'm not into general girly stuff like fan tan, eyelashes and nails. I'm doing alright in life. OP definitely let her do what she wants and tell your friend what for!

The only dolls I liked were action men. Much better accessories. I particularly liked the jeep with a spring loaded bazooka. Still a woman.

Bloody ridiculous. Of course let your child play with whatever she likes.

Stereotypical nonsense.

You know you’re not being unreasonable. Why are you asking when you know what the answer will be?

She's being completely ridiculous.
What does she mean by "grow into a weirdo" exactly? and did you not challenge her on that when she said it?

The only weirdo in that scenario is her!

When my daughter was little, she played mostly with cars and trucks and a train set. all hand me downs from my son. She wasn't in to dolls. My late My late Mum once bought her a small red pram, and knitted a cover to go inside, and my daughter put a rubber shark under the cover and pushed it around.

She is being ridiculous - ignore her! Your friend has already "grown into a weirdo".

She is being ridiculous - ignore her! Your friend has already "grown into a weirdo".

This.

YANBU your friend is ridiculous. My two boys built rockets from lego today then pretended they were mummy rocket and baby rocket in a suprisingly nuanced role play. Kids just like playing with what they like playing with, ignore anyone who has gendered rules for toys.

Let her play with whatever she wants, which may include your friend's gift of dolls at some point.

Of course you are YANBU! What exactly does your friend mean by "weirdo"?!
I just want to note though don't get pigeon holed yourself. If a girl did want to play with dolls that's not necessarily bad. I loved pink growing up but I also loved cars and building dens/getting dirty. I loved sylvanian families but I also liked playing pirates with my rabbit run in the garden. Liking pink doesn't mean you'll end up an oppressed 1950s housewife!

So your friend's idea of child rearing is to impose a stereotype willy-nilly on her children without taking their interests into account? That is so sad and makes me want to weep for the princesses.

My son when he was around 3 loved to play with my daughter's polly pockets because they were little. He put on her tights and ballet dress because she did. He is 23 and very much a boy. Your friend is crazy.

Whenever I hear this kind of nonsense, there is a small part of me that hopes the child in question grows up to be completely and gloriously gay.

Let your daughter play with the things ahe gets enjoyment from. I loved care bears, pound puppies, flower fairies and my little ponies , I also liked marbles, transformers, star wars gear, parachute soldiers and loads more.

Allow her loads of oppurtunities. The fact she is female should not affect anything.

My daughter is 5. She is all about everything pink and frilly. She literally wears "Easter Dresses' every day. She will even change into a clean frilly dress for dinner if we aren't close enough to stop her. However, she loves her play cars and tools and working on the cars with daddy. She loves to go fishing and has one hell of a fast pitch. Your friend is a twat

Is your friend visiting from the mid 1800s?

You friend needs to come and join us in the 21st century.