AIBU OR MY "FRIEND" HAS LOST THE PLOT?

[Greenmandm]

My DD always liked to play with trucks, cars, planes and stuff like that and doesn't like dolls at all. Also I never liked to dress her much in pink as I like all colours and she does also. She's 5. My
so called friend has 2 DD and she's all about dressing them only in pink making them "princesses".
She started telling me I should not let my DD play with trucks and boys toys as she will grow into a weirdo and i should dress her like a princess because she's a girl. She also bought my DD a few dolls on her birthday when I told her she doesn't like them.
AIBU to let my DD play with whatever she likes?

Bit harsh to say your friend has "lost the plot". She is entitled to her opinion, just as you are entitled to yours. Just ignore her and carry on doing what you're doing.

I find it frustrating that people still have attitude like this. My dd is quite girly but also likes cars, trucks, digging in the mud too. It’s not about being one way or the other. She loves a frilly dress but is equal happy to cut about in her brothers old clothes Children can have diverse interests.

Another mum and dad who were there with their daughter both laughed at him, and when their daughter questioned why a boy would want a baby they told her it was weird angry. We ignored them, I gave them a glare, and my happy son took them home.

I like that Katherine Ryan quote “You’re not not normal you’re ordinary, there’s a difference”

'Weirdo'...she lost the argument at that point. I swapped barbie for action man as a kid; his trucks and helicopters were more fun. To be fair I am a tomboy as an adult, but knowing my way around power tools has saved me a few quid in house development costs. I am also a scientist who earns a good salary. There is a up side to not being all barbie fantastic plastic...live and let live I reckon. Your biggest problem is not what your child does, but who you socialise with...time to ditch this woman and find more balanced intelligent friends.

I feel offended! I was very into typical "boy" things when I was a child. So wrestling, video games, didn't like the colour pink. I haven't grown up to be a "weirdo", at least I don't think I have

I go with what dd likes, she's just turned 4. It turns out she's very physical, loves balls, bikes, puddles, anything messy etc.

She also loves pink, glittery, princessy things. So she's an absolute mix. I could go into her room and she'd be playing dinosaurs one minute and be doing "makeup" at her pretend vanity mirror the next.

I've never steered her one way or the other, she knows her own mind. But more often than not when it comes to clothes, shoes, bags, bedroom accessories she's going to choose pink, lilac shiny stuff.

Ds had a play kitchen at 5 and an Elsa doll amongst all the trucks, building blocks etc. I think that's just normal and healthy.

But some girls really do love pink and parents shouldn't be judged for that either.

I have a 14 year old that wanted to be about when she was younger, she wanted to only wear boys clothes, she did stereotypical boy activities - went to ballet once and never wanted to go back because it was pointless.
She hated dolls and would never have played with one, she was usually outside climbing trees and grubbing around in the mud looking for insects to take care of.

She is now much more girly, has very long hair, still plays contact sports and wants to be a vet.
All toys are there to be played with, it doesn't matter which section of the store their clothes come from, it doesn't matter what activities they do and how dirty they get.

Childhood should be about exploring who you want to be and what you want to do and your parents should be there to help you do that in a safe way.

about should read a boy

YANBU, obviously. Tell her to butt out.

ILoveFlumps, those people's behaviour was awful. I'd have done more than give them a glare; I'd have asked what on earth they were thinking saying my child's preference was weird. What twats. And of course they're teaching their DD to be the same.

Unfortunately gendered stereotyping of kids is very popular right now. I got the biggest shock when my eldest started primary school, looking at the sea of pink and blue. Footballers and princesses.

Having been aware that my own gender neutral upbringing was slightly progressive at the time, I thought that by now society would have, well, progressed! Unfortunately it suits manufacturers to fuel these stereotypes because it means people have to buy more. Your son couldn't possibly use his elder sister's pink bike, for example.

Think your friend is the weirdo.

You shouldn't have to ask.

Have people really become this sheepish?

Oh dear. The children often end up succumbing enough to the pressure to be like their peers anyway

At just under 3 my dd was into anything, dolls and building, and liked bright clothes. She started pre school and came home saying she wanted princess clothes! I just go along with what she likes. She's 9 now and likes to wear black mostly.

@Joeblack066

I loathe this “Princess” culture. They always turn out to be entitled prima donnas who bully other kids in my experience. You do you, and let DD be herself!

Actually I'll bet the princesses will be posting on Mumsnet in 20 years time about abusive partners.

Have you read zog? I wish that was what people meant by princess

I feel sorry for your friend's daughters - if their mother's attitude rubs off on them they will grow up idolising the likes of the Kardashians etc.
I had 3 brothers growing up and I mostly played with 'boys' toys and I like to think I turned out ok :)

tell her in victoiran times boys wore pink were they weird

shes doing the stereotypical girls are frilly pink princesses its annoying

Of course I know IANBU but just wanted to see what other people think. And this is definitely genuine what my "friend" said (I know hard to belive in 21st century). My daughter doesn't mind any colour. She does have a few pink bits though. Of course I let her play with whatever she likes. When I go to visit my parents back home and look in kids shops, I can barely find any clothes for girls that are not pink.

Another mum and dad who were there with their daughter both laughed at him, and when their daughter questioned why a boy would want a baby they told her it was weird angry.

I could not have stopped myself from asking that Dad if he never fed, changed or played with his daughter when she was a baby then?

@CeibaTree

I feel sorry for your friend's daughters - if their mother's attitude rubs off on them they will grow up idolising the likes of the Kardashians etc. I had 3 brothers growing up and I mostly played with 'boys' toys and I like to think I turned out ok :)

Or developing gender dysphoria.

"You don't like pink sparkly stuff?"

"You must really be a boy - you're trapped in the wrong body. You need to do something about that."

@Greenmandm

Of course I know IANBU but just wanted to see what other people think. And this is definitely genuine what my "friend" said (I know hard to belive in 21st century). My daughter doesn't mind any colour. She does have a few pink bits though. Of course I let her play with whatever she likes. When I go to visit my parents back home and look in kids shops, I can barely find any clothes for girls that are not pink.

But she doesn't need to wear girls clothes.

Clothes are just clothes.

@FOJN

No you are not unreasonable. Please do not start encouraging your daughter to adopt stereotypical clothing or interests, she is her own person and should be encouraged to express her personality without gender constraints or judgement.

I fear for the next generation if children if this nonsense becomes increasingly common.

This

Obviously YANBU. Your friend is an idiot.

She is an idiot

@lazylinguist we thought the same

Refer to this handy chart.