Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell all the black mumsnetters we now have our own forum

999 replies

Marg33t · 16/09/2020 13:40

Thanks to the fab PatricksRum for fighting against racism we've got our own board here

Look for black mumsnetters 👍🏿

OP posts:
Tellmetruth4 · 16/09/2020 19:36

‘My DH is not full of hate (hence his marriage to me). He is second generation however, so perhaps more 'white' than you'd like him to be. I never hear anything like the hatred, fear and general distrust I've seen on this thread coming from him.’

But you said this thread showed you that ‘they’ as in ALL blacks are racist towards whites , that would also make your DH a racist as he’s black. Is his family racist too?

gardenclubgnome · 16/09/2020 19:36

That horrific awful sweeping judgement that is placed on Irish Travellers is not about skin colour? To my knowledge? If a space was needed for them then YES make sure we create it here.

Like how you just picked out that one bit though.

Tomorrowsanewday · 16/09/2020 19:36

I thought it was MN that set the rules on posting not the person starting the thread.

Tellmetruth4 · 16/09/2020 19:37

Is your DH aware that you refer to black people as ‘they’ by the way? What do he and his relatives think about that?

GoldenKelpie · 16/09/2020 19:37

@Sanitisethat

is one forum on mumsnet where you’ve been politely asked not to post unless you have experience of living as a black person

so guess it's not hearsay?

I’m white, before you go blaming anyone on the Black Mumsnetters board for my understanding of the situation.

And I stand by my point - a general request that you not post on a forum that has nothing to do with you is NOT a ban and, in particular, is not even remotely comparable to apartheid.

Nobody is going to stop you from storming over to the Black Mumsnetters board and sharing your views on what it’s like to experience racism in the workplace or how to resolve a concern about a black child’s hair if you’re absolutely determined to do so, but they might very understandably feel that it’s not helpful or welcome, and wonder what point you’re trying to prove by insisting on thrusting your opinions into threads where they’re not useful or relevant.

a general request that you not post on a forum that has nothing to do with you is NOT a ban but the fact that it is there at all is something new and uncomfortable to me. I have never experienced this sort of exclusionary "request" on mn before.

Nobody is going to stop you from storming over to the Black Mumsnetters board why the emotive language? Who on earth storms over to a board?

myrtleWilson · 16/09/2020 19:38

@OnceUponAThimble

Some of us Quaagars have a vested interest in all things race. Ergo, we are vocal about it. In my case, I do not want my children to go on ANY chat forum and discover that there is a Blacks Only 'safe' space for them. That's my only objection. If it was titled differently, fine, but it's not. Plus it excludes (specifically) white people. I am white.

As to the poster who keeps telling me I'm ignoring her - I'm ignoring you because there's nothing to reply to.

What if your children wanted to find a space on any forum that was created to recognise specific needs or discussions pertaining to a community - would you ban them?
OnceUponAThimble · 16/09/2020 19:38

I guess my husband doesn't see himself as a victim of racism. He is happily married to my good white self, has a senior role, colleagues of all colours/creeds/nationalities and in general is a man of the world. He doesn't define himself or confine himself by the colour of his skin.

Sanitisethat · 16/09/2020 19:39

why the emotive language? Who on earth storms over to a board?

Why are you only querying my use of emotive language and not that of posters using words like ‘banned’, ‘excluded’, ‘unwelcome’, ‘segregation’ etc?

PurpleHoodie · 16/09/2020 19:39

What Sanitisethat said.

The threads started over there are actually really lovely there so far.

3 x a charm. "Hide Topics" button is that way for those not interested >>>>>>>>

OnceUponAThimble · 16/09/2020 19:40

What if your children wanted to find a space on any forum that was created to recognise specific needs or discussions pertaining to a community - would you ban them? If that need was the colour of their skin, I would consider myself to have thoroughly failed as a mother.

Phoenix21 · 16/09/2020 19:40

@BritWifeinUSA

Would it be available to white parents who have black children?
@BritWifeinUSA Yes of course!
Havaiana · 16/09/2020 19:40

@OnceUponAThimble

Most of his colleagues and friends are white.

and then

has a senior role, colleagues of all colours/creeds/nationalities

So which is it Once?

OnceUponAThimble · 16/09/2020 19:40

PurpleHoodie - we ignored you the first time.

EDSGFC · 16/09/2020 19:41

Repeating a lie (i.e white people are barred) to confuse people and stir trouble is what racists do.

It's not a lie because it was said more than once or twice that it was a place for black mumsnetters to post and not white mumsnetters. In fact one poster said she looked forward to being able to read it and learn from it (so not post on it) and was told it wasn't there to educate her.

OnceUponAThimble · 16/09/2020 19:41

It's. BOTH. Havaiana.

hotspot77 · 16/09/2020 19:42

And yet there still isn’t a stillbirth board?

Havaiana · 16/09/2020 19:42

@OnceUponAThimble

It's. BOTH. Havaiana.
How is it both?
doadeer · 16/09/2020 19:42

@OnceUponAThimble

My DH is not full of hate (hence his marriage to me). He is second generation however, so perhaps more 'white' than you'd like him to be. I never hear anything like the hatred, fear and general distrust I've seen on this thread coming from him. Most of his colleagues and friends are white. Quite the mixture. He doesn't feel the need to tell me that I wouldn't understand him. We talk and we learn from each other. Hope that answers the question the dog with a bone keeps asking me?
This is so damaging. You're saying that your DH is less filled with hate as he is more white? What will you do if your children strongly identify with their black heritage and see themselves more as black than mixed race?

Can you honestly not understand that many black people have gone through intense racism, prejudice and discrimination and if they want a safe place to discuss experiences that this is a good thing?! It's wonderful that your DH has not been a victim of racism but he is a minority in that sense.

OrangeCinnamon1 · 16/09/2020 19:42

@OnceUponAThimble

I guess my husband doesn't see himself as a victim of racism. He is happily married to my good white self, has a senior role, colleagues of all colours/creeds/nationalities and in general is a man of the world. He doesn't define himself or confine himself by the colour of his skin.
Gosh how lovely for him to have you,r 'good white self' . Unfortunately his is not the only experience that matters.

As you were

Havaiana · 16/09/2020 19:43

@Sanitisethat

why the emotive language? Who on earth storms over to a board?

Why are you only querying my use of emotive language and not that of posters using words like ‘banned’, ‘excluded’, ‘unwelcome’, ‘segregation’ etc?

Yep, add 'fucking hatred' to the list of words that apparently aren't emotive.
RuggerHug · 16/09/2020 19:43

Fair play Smile

GoldenKelpie · 16/09/2020 19:43

@WhatifIfeellikeacat

Can't we all be together? We are all humans after all.
Sigh, apparently not. It is all so divisive now Sad.
AuntyPasta · 16/09/2020 19:44

What if children need a safe place to vent because their white parent has some very questionable views?

gardenclubgnome · 16/09/2020 19:44

@OnceUponAThimble

I guess my husband doesn't see himself as a victim of racism. He is happily married to my good white self, has a senior role, colleagues of all colours/creeds/nationalities and in general is a man of the world. He doesn't define himself or confine himself by the colour of his skin.
No I am sure he does not. Neither do I. But the problem isn't me- or my family .It's the perception others have( sorry to say- but YOU have). If you are genuinely saying he has never experienced the issue. you are quite frankly blind to his experience( because it does not suit your happy little narrative) or are chatting rubbish to make a point. Or maybe he did what I did and got so used to pretending because it is just easier to smile politely and be blasé.
PurpleHoodie · 16/09/2020 19:45

Once Cringe. You'll do everyone a favour and ignore the BMN Board.

Leave MNetters to post lovely threads over there.