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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD’s boss and babe station comment?

174 replies

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 20:31

DD is 16 and commenced an apprenticeship at the beginning of September.

We asked for a contract and the HR person said she was working on it.

1st day I picked DD up and she was full of beans, all good and laughing that they have dress down day every Friday and as long as she wore heels she could wear jeans etc

It’s a smallish team with a company director/owner. DD is autistic, I let the HR person know after her first day, explained how organised and meticulous she is.

DD is 1 of 3 apprentices she is the youngest. She grumbled that she has to make all the tea, fetch milk and then it was clean kitchen cupboards out, empty bins, fetch Directors lunch whilst the other 2 answered phones and took messages. DD is very black and white so she questioned why she was being treated differently.

I only have DDs version of events. She said, when she questioned being treated differently he said it was because he could, she was only an apprentice and she would do as he told her because he earns £300k a year and she earns nothing.

She asked to book holiday on Christmas Eve and he said no, she doesn’t get holiday for the 1st year as an apprentice and she was only allowed 15 mins lunch instead of an hour like the other 2.

Last incident where DD walked out was him telling the other males in the office that he would earn more from the apprentices if he put them to work on babe station.

That happened on Friday. I called to speak to him, he was “in a meeting” I called Again and left a message fOr the HR person to call me. I’ve heard nothing at all.

What rights does DD have as an apprentice of not even 1 month with no contract?

OP posts:

MomToTwoBabas · 15/09/2020 20:34

Could you call ACAS? They give employment advice. That is awful.

Yarboosucks · 15/09/2020 20:34

www.anapprenticeship.co.uk/your-rights-apprentice.html#:~:text=As%20an%20apprentice%20you%20will,hours%20free%20in%20two%20weeks.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 15/09/2020 20:42

She should join a union too. Lots of unions give a period of free membership for apprentices, may be worth finding out which union represents the sector she works in. That does sound like a toxic atmosphere and to be honest if it was my child I would want them to quit for their own good, but really why should she have to just because the boss is a pig?

Bluntness100 · 15/09/2020 20:45

What’s the apprenticeship in op and how big is this company?

Sounds like thr apprentices are just cheap labour there.

CitizenFame · 15/09/2020 20:46

Reading all that in one go, would you let yourself be treated to and spoken to like that? I wouldn’t. Why aren’t you sticking up for your daughter?

Bluntness100 · 15/09/2020 20:51

@CitizenFame

Reading all that in one go, would you let yourself be treated to and spoken to like that? I wouldn’t. Why aren’t you sticking up for your daughter?

I’m not sure about that, she needs to guide her daughter. But this isn’t school she can’t fight these battles for her, and I think she needs to stop calling them.

Op you need to let your daughter handle this, but guide her to do it herself. I get why you’re calling them but she’s working, you can’t be calling hr and telling them how good she is for example.

Personally I’d pull her out of there Ie advise her to leave, I’d give it another few days though. Is she the newest apprentice? Is that why she’s the youngest?

Serin · 15/09/2020 20:53

How awful that this should be your DDs first experience of work. As someone who was subject to a ridiculously sexist dress code when I was 16 (which progressed to full on sexual assault) I would be particularly disturbed by the insistence on wearing heels.

TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 15/09/2020 20:53

Who is the awarding body of her apprenticeship? Go to your contact there.

Kolsch · 15/09/2020 20:54

I would pull her out and look for something else for her.
I wouldn't bother trying to contact him because to be honest, I don't think he would care one bit about your opinion.
You could leave your opinion on such as Glass door or Google reviews.

Timinfuckingruislip · 15/09/2020 20:54

There’s a few different things going on here.

Firstly - why are calling HR and telling them that your daughter is autistic. That is entirely her choice to tell or not to.

Her asking why she was being treated differently in terms of tasks after a couple of days could be seen as a bit bold - I’d certainly give a 16 year old different tasks to say a twenty year old.

But the rest is bloody awful - but as a PP said - you need to support your daughter to take this further.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 15/09/2020 20:55

Why aren’t you sticking up for your daughter?

She’s already called the office twice to try to speak to him. What more do you want her to do? March in there with a rolling pin?

Serin · 15/09/2020 20:55

Bluntness100 She is 16 not 18, she also has autism.
I think OP has every right to fight her childs corner.

wishingitwasfriday · 15/09/2020 20:57

I would tell you daughter to let her tutor at college know what's happening. They will be able to support her through this and may be able to find another placement for her if needed.

Original poster

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 21:02

After talking with my DD after her first day we agreed I would call HR to advise about her autism. She is 16 and doesn’t want the attention. She is amazing and an asset to anyone.

I need her to make her own decision but I won’t put up with babe station comments, the wearing heels comment made me have to sit on my hands not to call.

Thank you for the links. I’m in a union but that doesn’t help DD, does it? And she doesn’t have a contract?

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 15/09/2020 21:04

@Serin

Bluntness100 She is 16 not 18, she also has autism. I think OP has every right to fight her childs corner.

I know and I don’t disagree, in fact I’d urge her too. I just don’t think calling her employers is the way forward. In fact I know is not because they are ignoring her.

What I specifically said is she needs to guide her daughter. But calling hr to update on her progress, calling the boss etc just results in this. They won’t speak to her.

Original poster

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 21:04

@wishingitwasfriday

I would tell you daughter to let her tutor at college know what's happening. They will be able to support her through this and may be able to find another placement for her if needed.

Nothing was mentioned about college? It is a small company owned by the director and the HR person offered a 3 year apprenticeship.

Sorry I’m being vague

OP posts:

Kaiserin · 15/09/2020 21:07

I would tell you daughter to let her tutor at college know what's happening. They will be able to support her through this and may be able to find another placement for her if needed.

This.
Apprenticeships aren't just regular employment. It's higher education, and the employer is accountable to the higher education provider.

Original poster

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 21:11

That’s really helpful, I don’t know where to start though?

They advertised an apprenticeship role, DD applied and she took it from there. Apart from lifts I’ve not had any involvement (apart from calling on her behalf)

OP posts:

honeygirlz · 15/09/2020 21:14

What a disgusting pig. Can you expose the fuckers on Twitter or would that be libel?

titchy · 15/09/2020 21:24

Nothing was mentioned about college?

Then it's not an apprenticeship. It's a shitty employer taking advantage of a young person. Paying apprentice wage I suspect, and not abiding by the legal requirement to give her paid holiday or the correct working hours (legally she has to have a half hour break every four hours).

She should quit to be blunt.

Cgoodman · 15/09/2020 21:30

As an SME, they are very unlikely to be registered as an employer / provider for apprenticeships and therefore this is unlikely to be a legitimate apprenticeship.

An apprentice must have an employment contract in place longer than the duration of their apprenticeship, plus a Commitment Statement signed by them and their employer and an Apprenticeship Agreement.

Details of all apprenticeship providers can be found on the Government website, search RoATP. If they are not listed, they are not a provider. If they are, complain directly to the Institute for Apprenticeships and T Levels or the Education and Skills Funding Agency who regulate apprenticeships.

OntheWaves40 · 15/09/2020 21:30

With all the issues aside, such a small company with just director and HR etc isn’t going to help DD career prospects.

Kaiserin · 15/09/2020 21:31

Reading again the whole thread, I agree...
I'm sorry OP, this isn't an apprenticeship, this sounds more like a scam.

Please read this, OP:
www.gov.uk/become-apprentice

Apprentices get paid minimum wage, paid holidays, at least 20% of their time must be spent on training (which leads to some recognised qualifications), they have all the rights of a regular employee...

Original poster

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 21:40

DD has left, she walked out on Friday after the babe station comment.

I wanted to know if she had a leg to stand on without a contract and less than a months service.

I do take onboard the comments about not calling on her behalf etc. It’s a learning curve and tbh my blood is boiling and I’m trying to keep a lid on it.

OP posts:

Joeblack066 · 15/09/2020 21:40

@GazingAndGrazing