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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD’s boss and babe station comment?

174 replies

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 20:31

DD is 16 and commenced an apprenticeship at the beginning of September.

We asked for a contract and the HR person said she was working on it.

1st day I picked DD up and she was full of beans, all good and laughing that they have dress down day every Friday and as long as she wore heels she could wear jeans etc Hmm

It’s a smallish team with a company director/owner. DD is autistic, I let the HR person know after her first day, explained how organised and meticulous she is.

DD is 1 of 3 apprentices she is the youngest. She grumbled that she has to make all the tea, fetch milk and then it was clean kitchen cupboards out, empty bins, fetch Directors lunch whilst the other 2 answered phones and took messages. DD is very black and white so she questioned why she was being treated differently.

I only have DDs version of events. She said, when she questioned being treated differently he said it was because he could, she was only an apprentice and she would do as he told her because he earns £300k a year and she earns nothing.

She asked to book holiday on Christmas Eve and he said no, she doesn’t get holiday for the 1st year as an apprentice and she was only allowed 15 mins lunch instead of an hour like the other 2.

Last incident where DD walked out was him telling the other males in the office that he would earn more from the apprentices if he put them to work on babe station.

That happened on Friday. I called to speak to him, he was “in a meeting” I called Again and left a message fOr the HR person to call me. I’ve heard nothing at all.

What rights does DD have as an apprentice of not even 1 month with no contract?

OP posts:
Winebottle · 15/09/2020 21:45

Encourage her to look for somewhere else.

You can't have your mother fighting your corner at work, even at 16. Having said that, this doesn't sound like a battle she has any chance of winning.

16 year olds don't usually have the confidence or experience to stand up to employers so they are better off with employers that don't seek to exploit them.

Winebottle · 15/09/2020 21:47

Having seen the update, it probably isn't worth the hassle. Does she want to give evidence at an employment tribunal?

titchy · 15/09/2020 21:49

Glad she's left! Chalk this one up to experience - both of you. Nothing you can do.

But do make sure that her next apprenticeship is a genuine one, with day release at a registered training provider. A large employer might be a better bet.

sst1234 · 15/09/2020 21:58

OP the best course of action is to make them sweat. Put the complaint in writing stating all of these points and say that you will go public unless they address them. Of course be careful to not slander but in this age of me too, no one wants to be found out for making stupid comments like this even they are a slimeball.

Wearywithteens · 15/09/2020 22:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

CorianderLord · 15/09/2020 22:15

That is not right - as an apprentice I got the same breaks and holiday entitlement as everyone else as well as bonuses and holidays off.

CorianderLord · 15/09/2020 22:16

Also a three year apprenticeship is LONG - hey is the role? The apprenticeship should always be 20% minimum education, preferably with qualifications at the end of it. They should have paper work, tests and coursework.

bp300 · 15/09/2020 22:19

I think mentioning the autism was a mistake. The first day went very well when they were not aware of it. It sounds like once they realised they didn't think she would be capable of speaking to customers on the phone so gave her jobs like making the tea etc.

CorianderLord · 15/09/2020 22:20

List of approved agencies: www.gov.uk/government/publications/apprenticeship-training-agencies

What is required of apprenticeship providers: www.gov.uk/government/publications/apprenticeship-training-agencies

The 20% thing may be for only certain levels so check that, but there should be an educational element.

mumwon · 15/09/2020 22:24

HMRC because apprenticeship wages are lower than minimum wage & they may be very interested & she should get holiday pay
I would screw them for every penny

CorianderLord · 15/09/2020 22:25

Here we go - it is 20% training and she does get holidays

DD’s boss and babe station comment?
BubblyBarbara · 15/09/2020 22:35

I wanted to know if she had a leg to stand on without a contract and less than a months service.

No. Even if you went to work there for £100k and a full time job you have no leg to stand on if you’ve worked there less than two years unless they discriminated against a protected characteristic like pregnancy or race.

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 22:36

@bp300

I think mentioning the autism was a mistake. The first day went very well when they were not aware of it. It sounds like once they realised they didn't think she would be capable of speaking to customers on the phone so gave her jobs like making the tea etc.
Such an unappealing reply. DD is unique, a value to everyone she has contact with. All need to know who she is and why.

DD agrees with this she doesn’t want to be the one to tell them to be conscious of the above, she has me for that.

My DD is more than capable, and has more empathy than the Director of this company.

She is proud to be her and I’m -round to support her

OP posts:
ameliajoan · 15/09/2020 22:36

It’s good she’s left now.

However, you need to not interfere. If your DD wants them to know about her autism then she needs to tell them. If she has an issue then she needs to bring it up.

No workplace will respect any employee whose mother is constantly ringing up. Your DD needs to learn how to navigate the world herself.

ameliajoan · 15/09/2020 22:38

My DD is more than capable,

If she is more than capable then why isn’t she dealing with any of this? Letting them know of her autism etc.?

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 22:49

@ameliajoan

My DD is more than capable,

If she is more than capable then why isn’t she dealing with any of this? Letting them know of her autism etc.?

Just because she is 16

I appreciate all replies, thank you

OP posts:
ameliajoan · 15/09/2020 22:53

I understand she’s 16, but if she’s capable enough to work then she needs to be dealing with this herself.

I work in a company that regularly hires 16 - 18 year olds; we expect them to deal with everything themselves and we treat them like everyone else with respect to working time regulations. We don’t take messages, notes etc. from their parents.

Utilityroomenvy · 15/09/2020 22:56

@Timinfuckingruislip

There’s a few different things going on here.

Firstly - why are calling HR and telling them that your daughter is autistic. That is entirely her choice to tell or not to.

Her asking why she was being treated differently in terms of tasks after a couple of days could be seen as a bit bold - I’d certainly give a 16 year old different tasks to say a twenty year old.

But the rest is bloody awful - but as a PP said - you need to support your daughter to take this further.

Three apprentices shouldn’t be treated differently despite age unless job roles differ. Same role, same responsibilities. And fair play to her for calling them out on it.
ginandbearit · 15/09/2020 22:59

Bloody hell there are some mean replies on here...a. very young woman naive and vulnerable is abused by an older male employer in a number of ways and people are saying dont interfere ...I'd have gone in with baseball bats ...well done OP for supporting her ..lessons learnt, a lucky escape and good luck in the future to her .

Totickleamockingbird · 15/09/2020 23:03

Can you not name and shame the company on social media?

RB68 · 15/09/2020 23:04

if no contract provided there is a defacto standard one that should be applied. She has been discrimminated against and with her age and vulnerability there is a safeguarding issue. heels - inappropriate, babestation comment - inappropriate - different work for males and females on same apprenticeship is more discrimination. I am with others it needs to go to apprenticeship suprvisor and they need pulling on this and even blacklisting to be honest

CokeEnStock · 15/09/2020 23:07

Jeez. I have a 16 yo and I too would have got involved going on what op has said. It sounds grim.

Yesmate · 15/09/2020 23:08

Doesn’t sound like it is a legit apprenticeship. Sounds like cheap labour from an unscrupulous owner.
I wouldn’t do anything by phone, I would help your DD formulate a written letter to HR.
Sounds like classic constructive dismissal but I don’t know if that’s a possible claim with less than 2 years service.

CorianderLord · 15/09/2020 23:16

@Totickleamockingbird

Can you not name and shame the company on social media?
Unless they have recordings or proof of the allegations they could sue for defamation
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