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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD’s boss and babe station comment?

174 replies

GazingAndGrazing · 15/09/2020 20:31

DD is 16 and commenced an apprenticeship at the beginning of September.

We asked for a contract and the HR person said she was working on it.

1st day I picked DD up and she was full of beans, all good and laughing that they have dress down day every Friday and as long as she wore heels she could wear jeans etc Hmm

It’s a smallish team with a company director/owner. DD is autistic, I let the HR person know after her first day, explained how organised and meticulous she is.

DD is 1 of 3 apprentices she is the youngest. She grumbled that she has to make all the tea, fetch milk and then it was clean kitchen cupboards out, empty bins, fetch Directors lunch whilst the other 2 answered phones and took messages. DD is very black and white so she questioned why she was being treated differently.

I only have DDs version of events. She said, when she questioned being treated differently he said it was because he could, she was only an apprentice and she would do as he told her because he earns £300k a year and she earns nothing.

She asked to book holiday on Christmas Eve and he said no, she doesn’t get holiday for the 1st year as an apprentice and she was only allowed 15 mins lunch instead of an hour like the other 2.

Last incident where DD walked out was him telling the other males in the office that he would earn more from the apprentices if he put them to work on babe station.

That happened on Friday. I called to speak to him, he was “in a meeting” I called Again and left a message fOr the HR person to call me. I’ve heard nothing at all.

What rights does DD have as an apprentice of not even 1 month with no contract?

OP posts:
DdraigGoch · 15/09/2020 23:19

I'd take legal advice before doing anything.

reader12 · 15/09/2020 23:25

I’d leave a review on glassdoor and then let it go.

She did well sticking up for herself and walking out when it felt wrong. Not all 16 year olds would have been brave enough - you must have done a good job raising her!

WhenAWrenVisits · 15/09/2020 23:26

As PP said I’d call the apprenticeship trainer to report it to ensure other young girls don’t get placed there. You could also seek legal advice or maybe start with citizens advice bureau. Mostly get DD hunting for a new apprenticeship or job that’s not in a toxic environment like this one is

WildAboutMyPlanet · 15/09/2020 23:28

Can’t believe some people are saying it’s related to you telling them about her autism, like that matters? That’s not an excuse to treat her any differently, it’s discrimination. And she’s 16, I would have gotten involved at her age too.

I would also report them, but I’m not sure how far you would get with it. What does your DD want to do about it all?

nestisflown · 15/09/2020 23:34

Huh do parents really get involved in their 16 year old’s jobs? I agree with advising but actually calling a workplace on your child’s behalf? I’ve worked since age 14 and haven’t ever had my parents interfere directly and would have been mortified if they did.

snackarella · 15/09/2020 23:39

Apprentices have the same employment rights as anyone else.
She should have a contact but the fact that she doesn't will not affect her statutory rights.
Speak to the training provider of you can't get hold of the employer - they will be claiming the funding so will need to know if all isn't well

Unsure33 · 16/09/2020 01:34

My daughters first job she was treated appallingly and despite trying to stand up for herself her boss got worse and worse. But he had made some big employment law mistakes. And yes in the end I actually went to his office and gave him a piece of my mind and threatened to report him . My daughter walked out . He apologised and gave her a glowing reference . 6 months later he went bust . Karma.

CandyLeBonBon · 16/09/2020 02:23

Autism is a disability and is a protected characteristic. Sex is also a protected characteristic. The employer has also acted unlawfully with regards to not providing h correct paperwork, because there has to be an approved training provider (it can be the employer but is more often a third party provider). At 16, she is still a child and as she has autism it is important that the employer knows, so they can make reasonable adjustments as required by law. Op I would have done the same. I'm looking into setting up an apprenticeship so this is all information I have recently found out. 3 year apprenticeships are usually degree courses but she would have to have signed a training agreement and to do a 3 year apprenticeship she'd be expected to have a level 3 education, I believe?

BubblyBarbara · 16/09/2020 05:27

Autism is a disability and is a protected characteristic. Sex is also a protected characteristic.

Sure but there’s no evidence they have mistreated her specifically because of these characteristics. It sounds like they are just terrible to “apprentices” in general.

custardbear · 16/09/2020 05:54

Do they have a client base? I'd be inclined to write what happened in a google review

Pluckedpencil · 16/09/2020 06:10

So let me get this straight. You let her finish full time education and not go to college or sixth form to do an apprenticeship that isn't recognized by any official public body? Why?!!!! What relation do you have with HR to think this was going to go well?! Did nothing strike you as odd when there was no training behind this thing?

SummerWhisper · 16/09/2020 06:47

Well done, @GazingAndGrazing for having your daughter's back. Ignore commentors blaming you. Ignore commentors minimising how serious this is. You have a number of options and should do all of them.

  1. Speak to ACAS today
  2. Your daughter is a child in the eyes of the law AND has three protected characteristics that they have abused under the Equality Act; age, disability, sex.
  3. Consider a claim for constructive dismissal based on abuse of protected characteristics. The 2 year employment rule does not apply here
  4. Speak to your local Chamber of Commerce about the unlawful business practice
  5. Report them to the Modern Slavery hotline
  6. Report them to your local council's employment and skills department- the director and the elected cabinet member
  7. Report them to the government's apprenticeship department and to the National Apprenticeship Service (or whatever it's called now)
  8. Report them to the police for sexual harassment of a minor
  9. Your daughter started work: that is the contract. She doesn't need a formal contract.

Good luck and don't let the bastard get away with it.

devildeepbluesea · 16/09/2020 06:56

@SummerWhisper only post of any use here. I second all of it. Even a call from an ACAS conciliator may be enough to rattle them; it often is. I work for ACAS.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 16/09/2020 07:03

Sounds like sex discrimination to me. Start with ACAS.

Straven123 · 16/09/2020 07:09

Is there some advantage financially to the company to be seen to run apprenticeships. Otherwise I can't see why such a miserable git would consider it.

GazingAndGrazing · 16/09/2020 07:30

summer thank you so much for your constructive reply. I will be calling ACAS this morning.

OP posts:
Daisyandroses · 16/09/2020 07:55

I can’t believe what I’m reading! If we don’t stand up for ourselves when we see this kind of disgusting misogyny, then what hope is there?

You sound like a great Mum OP. I know I would have been well out of my depth in that situation at 16, it took a lot of courage for your DD to walk away.

The only thing you can do now is report report report, and hopefully no other intern at the company will have to go through that again. Put it in writing and threaten the daily mail if you need to! Scumbags.

ZiggeryZaggy · 16/09/2020 08:10

I agree with the posters saying that it was inappropriate to be phoning HR to tell them about your daughters autism.

If you want to keep her in college then that would be more appropriate.

And as much as you think she is a value to everyone she comes into contact with and that everyone should know who she is, that is how most parents feel about their offspring, but they don’t phone HR to tell them about it on day one of a new job.

It is for DD to learn who she wants to tell about her autism and to find her own way - and part of that is likely to be telling people sometimes and then with hindsight realising she wishes she hadn’t, or that she does prefer to talk about it when first meeting people - it is for her to find her way.

The boss sounds like a twat, but maybe this has been a good learning curve for you as well.

McT123 · 16/09/2020 08:18

@Straven123 - three people working for nothing?

molifly14 · 16/09/2020 08:23

It's awful but also I think by you calling up on her behalf, this will only make things work for her. You need to coach her to deal with this herself as it's not school. Alternatively you could encourage her to leave.

dontdisturbmenow · 16/09/2020 08:29

DD agrees with this she doesn’t want to be the one to tell them to be conscious of the above, she has me for that
Taking on an apprenticeship at 16 demand a level of maturity and resilience most likely above their year. As such, they should have the maturity to not need their mum to have discussions with managers she doesn't want to have.

The 'doing tea task' is often part of the test, to see how they adapt to accepting that work is not just about doing the fun part. Maybe she had a bit of an arrogant attitude on the day and that was the reason why they put her on that task.

The babe station comment is totally out of line. However what do you want to do about it? Suing them for sexism? How are you going to prove it?

titchy · 16/09/2020 08:34

I work in a company that regularly hires 16 - 18 year olds; we expect them to deal with everything themselves and we treat them like everyone else with respect to working time regulations

I hope you don't regarding the working time regs! At least not the 16 and 17 year olds.

Alicatz66 · 16/09/2020 08:37

I'd get her out of there ASAP

crystaltips98 · 16/09/2020 08:44

That company was terrible. Sounds like a fake apprenticeship to me. She should have access to college and be gaining a qualification alongside her work. The BS about breaks is actually the opposite. People under 18 have nore frequent breaks than 18+. Plus the inappropriate comments and why do heels constitute a dress down day? Your daughter has had a lucky escape. Good luck for a future apprenticeship witha better conpany.

PolarBearStrength · 16/09/2020 08:46

@SummerWhisper

Well done, *@GazingAndGrazing* for having your daughter's back. Ignore commentors blaming you. Ignore commentors minimising how serious this is. You have a number of options and should do all of them.
  1. Speak to ACAS today
  2. Your daughter is a child in the eyes of the law AND has three protected characteristics that they have abused under the Equality Act; age, disability, sex.
  3. Consider a claim for constructive dismissal based on abuse of protected characteristics. The 2 year employment rule does not apply here
  4. Speak to your local Chamber of Commerce about the unlawful business practice
  5. Report them to the Modern Slavery hotline
  6. Report them to your local council's employment and skills department- the director and the elected cabinet member
  7. Report them to the government's apprenticeship department and to the National Apprenticeship Service (or whatever it's called now)
  8. Report them to the police for sexual harassment of a minor
  9. Your daughter started work: that is the contract. She doesn't need a formal contract.

Good luck and don't let the bastard get away with it.

This is great advice.