To feel totally overwhelmed with my weight

[Overwhelmed10]

I weighed in at 180lbs / 12.8 stone yesterday

I’m 5’6” so this gives me a bmi of around 29. I have a small frame so do not carry extra weight well.

My weight has yo-yo’d throughout my adult life - my best size where I feel healthiest is around 135lbs / 9.6stone - but this is so far away, I’m struggling to even get started with tackling my weight.

AIBU to feel really overwhelmed and hopeless? Does anyone have any words of wisdom on this? I’ve gained a significant amount of this weight over the past 12 months - I had a cancer scare which involved hospitalisation, surgery, and medication with a side effect of weight gain (but tbh I take full responsibility for the poor food choices I’ve been making!)

I’m feeling quite low and depressed about it today. I’ve purged the house of junk food this morning but that’s about it.

*feel!

Definitely @monkeyonthetable! And it helps with posture too. And let's not forget the visceral fat. It feels really good being more able.

@lazylinguist that's such a shame. It's very hard to find the right exercise so losing it is sad. I hope you will find something you can be passionate about again!

I hope you will find something you can be passionate about again!

Thank you! I must admit I'm rather enjoying the dance workouts. I paid for them after seeing multiple adverts on social media . The woman who does them is hilariously hyper, glamorous and booty-shaking but it's fun and very, very sweaty-making, so it must be doing me some good. I fear I will never have abs like hers though...

That's good!
Maybe you will😁 Maybe you already have but they are hiding. My perfect abs are very shy so they hid behind a pillow filled with fat😂

I’m with you op. My bmi is also 29 (29.9 to be exact!) and I feel helpless. Never been so overweight in my life.
I yo-yo too and lost a stone last year. All back in this year.
One thing that does help me kick start (I started last week and lost 5lbs). Is skip a couple of meals. Yeah yeah that’s not heathy. BUT, it’s made me feel a little lighter which has helped motivate me to try and eat heathy. Of course that’s not a sustainable way. It’s just to kick start you. I now need to do the healthy eating bit....
wishing you lots of luck :-)

I found that less ultra processed food I eat regularly, the less hungry I am.
So snack is for example cheese and apple rather than crisps etc. Hardboiled egg, chopped with chives and mixed with quark is delish on ryvita😁

Yes, less processed food and fewer carbs definitely make me less hungry. Full-on low carb hugely reduced my appetite, but it was just too restrictive for me. My 76yo dad, who wasn't very overweight, went lowish carb a few years back (still has muesli for breakfast every day and the odd potato), lost a couple of stone, reversed his pre-diabetes and sleep apnoea and came off his bp meds and statins!

monkeyonthetable I think you've had a really sensible approach that's more sustainable.

I feel your pain OP. I gained a lot since having my first child. What worked for me was walking for one hour, once baby was in bed so about 7pm. Headphones in, podcast / music on and just walk. Doesn’t have to be fast, just get moving for one hour. I found I could normally walk about 3 miles in an hour. Come home. Drink a pint of water and no evening snacking afterwards. I consistently lost a couple of pounds a week without making any other changes, and my mood improved too! It was great

You have already had excellent advice and encouragement op. What I found hard was getting going. Its easier to put it off to another day, another Monday. I also overate prior to starting as I knew I would have to do without. But all these false starts caused me to gain weight, the exact opposite of what I hoped to achieve.

I found once I got going and I lost a few pounds this was the incentive I needed and I found I could stick to a diet. Once I got near my target weight, it was very slow and thought of giving up but kept on for a few more weeks. But it is hard to maintain. You have to change how you eat for good. I don't mean doing without, just not overdoing it.

Good luck op.

And that's why exercising to lose weight doesn't really work - because you have to do impractically huge amounts of it to make much difference

That's just not true though. Running, or cycling, lots of miles is the norm for lots of people who also work FT and have kids and other commitments. It's not impractical for most; it's just about priorities.
The challenge, though, is getting fit enough for a decent workout to not take a very long time - which I appreciate is hard at first. It took me a couple of years from starting c25k to being at a point where I could regularly and comfortably run a decent mileage every week.

For example, a half hour lunchtime run might only be 2 miles if you're not very fit. But if you're well trained, that same half hour will be four miles..so you're covering double the mileage in the same amount of time.
Equally, a half marathon, when you're fit, will only take you a similar amount of time to driving to the gym, doing a spin class, and driving home. But the 1300 ish calories you'll burn in a half marathon would be probably double that of the spin class. And if you're fairly fast, it's very easy to get up early on a weekend and run 15, 20, whatever miles before anyone else is even awake - thus not impacting on your weekend.

The other thing you can do when youre fit is incorporate your bike ride or run into your commute. When I was in the office I'd cycle an hour a day just to and from work, and it wasn't really exercise...but again, I appreciate it's hard to just jump straight into that.

As I say though, getting to that point is the challenge, and I understand why so many people just give up, or think it's unrealistic.
When I was fat and unfit, the idea that a half marathon would one day be a fairly short run would've been bonkers. I struggled to run a minute when I started c25k. But this is about permanent lifestyle changes; and as you get fitter, the "norm" shifts up too.

@fellrunner85 I find posts and stories like yours really inspiring, even knowing as I do that I am not suddenly going to embrace exercise, although I do walk everywhere as I don't drive. My BMI is 18.5 so I'm not trying to lose weight but would love to be fitter, and I think I almost justify it to myself (that I am lazy) by thinking that if I did take up running, for instance, and adjusted my food intake accordingly, and then for some reason couldn't run any more .... then where would I be? Actually that does sound a bit feeble. I've only run twice as an adult, both times for a bus, and the people with me on each occasion doubled up with laughter.
Maybe one day .... did you start with C25k?

To be fair @fellrunner85 not everyone has the health or the correct body composition to be able to run long distances. When I was running (admittedly only six miles a few times a week) I had a constant knee issue that the doctor looked at and told me to quit running. I have no idea what the issue was and why walking doesn’t aggravate it the same way, but I’m never going to be able to run a marathon and certainly not in 3 hours.

I will agree though that finding something that you enjoy and that keeps you fit is a great idea 👍

I can't run. I think. Never tried🤔 There is always another bus or a cab.

@Overwhelmed10

Thank you for all the replies - I’m just having a read through now.

One pound, each week at a time, you can do it. :)

I broke my weight loss up into small goals because 6 stone was such a huge target, but honestly just focus on nutrition, having a balanced diet with portion control and you will get there.

Every month you could be 4lbs lighter, the weeks fly by and suddenly this time next year you'll be 50 lbs lighter :)

Yes, @Lobsterquadrille2, I started with c25k. I was horribly unfit and overweight. A few women at work were doing Race for Life and politely asked me to join in. I laughed, saying "I could never do that"... but then I thought how sad it was that a 5k seemed so completely unrealistic to me.

So one January I started c25k and really struggled to get through it. Getting from zero to my first 10 minute run was the hardest bit of running training I've ever done. But by the May of that year I'd completed c25k and then had a go in my first 10k race. I had to walk bits but I got round it in just over an hour.

But by then I'd caught the running bug. I did another 10k and then a half marathon. Again, I was very slow but I got round.

And I just kept running. It became my way of relaxing and getting some headspace. The weight came off slowly, and gradually I got faster.

Now, a few years and two kids later, I've gone from a size 12-14 to a size 8. I've done a few marathons and halves, and got my 5k time down to just over 20 mins. A half marathon takes me a bit over an hour and a half. I sometimes even win stuff, which is very funny for the girl who was always last at school cross country
But yeah - the point is, most people (,major health issues aside) could do the same. I just don't think most people trying to lose weight are prepared for the fact that there isn't a quick fix. And I also dont think most people realise how do-able exercise is. I never did!

To be fair @fellrunner85 not everyone has the health or the correct body composition to be able to run long distances.

^This. I started out like you, fellrunner. Fat and very unfit, with high bp after my second dc. Couldn't run for a minute and had loathed running at school. Did C25k, made it to my first 5k, embtaced Parkrun and was amazed at myself. Made it to 10k and eventually just about to half marathon.

Every time I regularly tried to run half marathon distance I would get a little foot niggle. Then a stress fracture. Then plantar fasciitis. Dialled it back down to 10k. Fine for a while, then knee niggles. Dialled it down to 5k. Plantar fasciitis again, plus knee niggles. Kept occasionally trying to build it back up again, but nope. Stopped altogether for fear that I'd ruin my ability to do decent walks never mind run.

shrodingers definitely been my experience with snacks. I have 3 meals limited snacking but if I do snack cheese and apple or kvarg flavoured quark or protein yoghurt and fruit are my go tos. Overall I aim to mainly eat real food as it keep me fuller so eggs not cereal. I eat some carbs but try to eat lots of protein and veg.

I swear to god, I should have discount on eggs with the amount I eat now😂 absolutely as you say @Dixiechickonhols much better than cereals. I have timed snacks. I know it's coming and when so it stops me from eating outside of the times.

Yes. Wholesome food. Satisfying, more of the less processed one (but some salami are a must have🙈), nutritious, tasty.

I rate my food on calorie vs satisfaction now. If it doesn't make me and my belly happy (taste, nutrition), I don't have it again. Like you would do with money.

Also, everyone, look into probiotic bacterias😉

I made some biscuits today. My dc would be aghast if we didn't have any in the house, so I figured at least homemade was better and had proper ingredients instead of processed crap and palm oil. I cut the sugar in the recipe, which already used wholemeal flour and oats. I know they are still not exactly a health food, but what was noticeable was how filling just one biscuit was. With a packet of shop bought ones, I'd be eyeing the next one and the next one!

Everything is healthy in the right amount😁 and everything can be unhealthy in the wrong amount.

Enjoy your biscuits!

Hi, I've been where you are and believe me, it's all about changing your mindset, accepting your body and eating better - not dieting.
The whole 'eat less, move more' is codswallop as we all know it's not that simple!

Please don't jump from faddy diet to faddy diet - I'm guessing you've done those in the past?
Make small changes, day by day, week by week, make healthier options, try to eat intuitively (google it), exercise and the weight will shift slowly but surely, but most importantly it will a stay off.

The more you stress and hate yourself/your weight, the harder this will be.
In the days before all the slimming companies existed, people would just eat when they were hungry and stop when full. There was no calorie counting or syns or points. People just ate real food.

How are you doing now @Overwhelmed10?

I came back to this thread to say thank you to @TooExtraImmatureCheddar for the recommendation of the Andrew Jenkinson book. I’ve been reading it and so much of it resonates with me. I’ve been dieting for 30 years and getting bigger each time I regain the lost weight.

Tomorrow is a new diet Monday again. Except this time it’s no diet Monday. Just following the very sensible advice from the book. Breakfast is easy. Lunches too - this time of the year I make big pots of soup with beans or lentils added for protein. Healthy sensible dinner of protein, lots of veg and some healthy carbohydrates. No stresses about points of calories or syns or grams of carbs.

I’m going to weigh myself tomorrow and then not for four weeks at least.

I found the Omega 6 and 3 info interesting too @lazylinguist. Will definitely be something I try to be aware of. To try to re-balance.