To feel totally overwhelmed with my weight

[Overwhelmed10]

I weighed in at 180lbs / 12.8 stone yesterday

I’m 5’6” so this gives me a bmi of around 29. I have a small frame so do not carry extra weight well.

My weight has yo-yo’d throughout my adult life - my best size where I feel healthiest is around 135lbs / 9.6stone - but this is so far away, I’m struggling to even get started with tackling my weight.

AIBU to feel really overwhelmed and hopeless? Does anyone have any words of wisdom on this? I’ve gained a significant amount of this weight over the past 12 months - I had a cancer scare which involved hospitalisation, surgery, and medication with a side effect of weight gain (but tbh I take full responsibility for the poor food choices I’ve been making!)

I’m feeling quite low and depressed about it today. I’ve purged the house of junk food this morning but that’s about it.

@pepsicolagirl it’s bloody difficult isn’t it. I’m starting to read a new book ‘The Obesity Code’ which looks promising - I saw drawn to the author because he pretty much says calorie restriction/moving more is doomed to fail, he goes in to the hormonal causes of weight gain, insulin and so on. The eat less/move more advice has made me feel quite ashamed in the past when I’ve struggled with my weight, as it pretty much blames the dieter for any failure.. our ‘lack of willpower’ yet I don’t struggle with willpower in any other area of my life!

I definitely know lower carbs and some fasting is the way to go for me - I suppose this will be my day one

@Mintjulia @CalmdownJanet I really like this approach of making things more manageable rather than knowing I have a total of 40lbs to lose and feeling overwhelmed.

I’m going to set up a weight tracker today with smaller milestones, and just focus on meeting each one, one at a time

Thank you @workhomesleeprepeat

I was the exact same weight and height as you.
I’ve started calorie counting on MFP which means I can still eat some of the things I want like chocolate. I don’t like restricting things like that or I end up wanting to binge.
I have also lowered my carb intake but haven’t cut them out completely as I don’t think it’s good to completely cut out food groups. If I have something like spag Bol for dinner now I’ll have a very small portion of pasta and fill the rest of the plate with broccoli to have with the sauce. Or if I’m having a stir fry I’ll just have a very small portion of noodles and the rest will be the veg and meat.
Protein yogurts and shakes help to fill me up too, as do other things high in protein like eggs and Greek yogurt.
I don’t enjoy exercise but I have a Fitbit and try and do a minimum of 8000 steps per day and I do 4 hiit classes per week (I just do them at home on YouTube).
Weight is coming off slowly but is staying off (around 5 pounds per month but that means it will only take about 7 months to reach my target)

@daysofpearlyspencer this is definitely helpful. I have a spiralizer so I’m going to attempt some courgetti this week in place of spaghetti. Lots of little changes like that will all add up

When you have the click your whole way of thinking changes. It’s so weird but if I don’t eat at all in the morning I am not hungry. My pre lunchtime shaky hunger I used to get after my cereal and toast breakfast I now know was a carb crash 🙄. If I don’t eat at all in the morning I can get to 1pm no shakiness whatsoever. If I want a bad snack I have a coffee. Then have what I want at weekends. You just need to find what works for you

This is brilliant @ilovespinach well done! I’m going to do intermittent fasting definitely. I actually love healthy foods, veg etc, I just have to break the bad habits I’ve accumulated this year!

For some reason people here it but slimming world was my saviour, I weighed in 12.5 stone about six years ago, I’ve kept most of it off, I’m about 11 at the moment due to lock down, low mood, stress, wine and injured knee but I’m losing it again. I never go hungry, I didn’t do the full meetings every week but weighed in every week

I feel exactly like you do. Watching with interest.

[quote Overwhelmed10]@pepsicolagirl it’s bloody difficult isn’t it. I’m starting to read a new book ‘The Obesity Code’ which looks promising - I saw drawn to the author because he pretty much says calorie restriction/moving more is doomed to fail, he goes in to the hormonal causes of weight gain, insulin and so on. The eat less/move more advice has made me feel quite ashamed in the past when I’ve struggled with my weight, as it pretty much blames the dieter for any failure.. our ‘lack of willpower’ yet I don’t struggle with willpower in any other area of my life!

I definitely know lower carbs and some fasting is the way to go for me - I suppose this will be my day one [/quote]
The obesity code is brilliant

You will gain some control if you take on what he says in that book.

The feeling of being out of control with your weight is the thing that is most upsetting and why 'eat less move more' also makes me want to throw things - it just isn't that simple.

You will go low carb and IF if you are reading it. And I promise you will never look back

Thank you for sharing this @KihoBebiluPute you’ve done brilliantly. I definitely have some emotional issues with food - when I had my health issues earlier this year, I really turned to food for comfort, especially in the evenings. I got used to this, so feel deprived/annoyed about the thought of not being able to basically eat junk everyday.

I’m going to definitely start off with smaller portion sizes, my appetite is all over the place at the moment - I can eat a normal sized, filling dinner and want to go and raid the cupboards for crisps/choc straight afterwards. I’m going to replace after dinner snacking with a tea/warm drink to start off with

@Lovelivelaughcry - with 16:8 fasting so that would mean you can eat between say 11-5 then stop? Could I still have tea at 9am and not count it or will it be counted? What if I have wine in evening but last meal was 5pm?

Sorry my phone deleted words, I meant that skimming world is hated on mumsnet, maybe because it works?

The overwhelmed feeling is horrible - but try to rid yourself of shame. There's nothing morally wrong with being overweight. You haven't failed. you don't deserve to feel bad.

I find that focussing on losing a stone is a good place to start. Then when you get there you can decide what next. Take the mountain in little chunks rather than one huge daunting block.

Small changes I've found super helpful is to be aware of secret calories (100 cals in a splash of olive oil was a bit of a shock to me, and I'm pretty clued up generally!). Cooking in a non stick pan so you need less fat, not drinking anything other than water during the day (I do a diet coke as well, you can wrestle that out of my cold dead hands) and logging your food. Best to pick a few small changes that you can really control, rather than raizing your whole life to the ground.

@Binny36 strictly IF says nothing except water/black tea or coffee during fasting period, however personally I make an exception for a drop of milk in my tea in the morning. Couldn’t do the same with wine though (unfortunately!) - just too many calories and too much sugar!

My advice is always to start off by tackling your hunger. If you can eat foods that fill you up without triggering cravings you’re always more likely to be successful.

Also know what foods you love and don’t want to live without. For me it’s bread and milky coffee. They are both comfort foods and I don’t want to imagine a future without them 🤭. So I did some straight swaps. Now I have low carb bread and coconut milk. Sorted 👌

I weighed myself in the middle of lockdown , I didn't have a scale until then . I weighed 11 stone and a half I am 5'2 . I was shocked but I knew I had put weight on not due to lockdown just from eating too much and my hypothyroid , I'm at 9 stone now I cut out crisps snack and junk and wine and drink mainly water and black coffee . My doctor had warned me about my cholesterol so I'm hoping this has pushed it way down . At the weekend I eat and drink what I want . The hardest thing for me will be keeping it off

Oh and in terms of fasting if you’re not fat adapted already it becomes an absolute chore. The best way to ease into fasting is to make sure you’re already fat adapted and in Ketosis then you naturally fast without consciously trying. I used to clock watch, now I might not eat for 18 hours and don’t even notice.

OP I started 2020 at 5"7 and 225pounds. I'm now 170pounds and fucking thrilled! Yes there is still further to go - I'm aiming for 145 which is 10stone 5, but if I can look 70 pounds in the eye and loose it, you can do 45! It took me less than 6 months to loose 45.

And I bet you feel happy with your weight long before you get there too. You only need to lose 30 pounds to be in a normal weight category, and you could do that in 3 or 4 months!

I’m 14st 5 at the minute, 5ft 6

I’ve lost a stone so far doing joe wicks 90 day plan. I’m almost finished cycle 1 for the second time, as I had to stop for 6 weeks after surgery and decided to start again instead of picking up where I left off (had a breast reduction which counts for about 4/5lbs of the weight loss, didn’t want to cheat it)

The body coach team calculate your BMR and TDEE and macros etc and give you meal plans and workouts to suit you. After my surgery I contacted them with new weight and measurements and I was told to reduce my food intake by 0.9 to make up for the weight difference since I started.

You do 5 hiit workouts a week with 2 rest days. In cycle 1, after a hiit workout you get to have a carb recovery meal. Today I just had a bagel, chicken and scrambled egg with tomato. Yesterday I had pizza for breakfast. I’ll have 2 more low carb meals today and 2 snacks. Tomorrow is a rest day so just 3 low carb meals and 2 snacks.

Cycle 2 is my favourite as they bring weights into the workouts and 2 carb recovery meals a day. I love this one as last time I got halfway through and could already see my muscles beginning to define. I’m aiming for strong as opposed to skinny so this is ideal.

It’s strict, but I like that. I found that with slimming world, tracking carbs etc I had too much leeway to eat anything. I eat what’s on my plan and nothing else, it’s more than enough and I’m never starving hungry.

You just need to find what works for you OP. Good luck with it all!

The best way to ease into fasting is to make sure you’re already fat adapted and in Ketosis then you naturally fast without consciously trying.

When I try to find a good explanation of 'fat adapted' all that comes up is sites promoting Keto; is there anywhere I can get a less biased summary of what it actually means?

Don't look at the whole amount, break it down.

1st goal is 7lb loss, or 1 inch off your waist, or 2 points decrease on BMI.

Download MyFitnessPal or another food tracker and be really brutally honest on there for 3 days, every single thing you eat or drink gets logged.

That will give you a really good understanding of where you are getting your calories and where you can reduce. It shouldn't be a massive life changing unsustainable set of cuts that you make. But if you have 6 teas a day with 2 spoons of sugar you could cut 12 spoons of sugar (200) calories just by changing to a sweetener. If you have bread with every meal, you could cut your carbs by having bread for one meal only and switching to veg or eggs for the other meals.

I love a good spreadsheet, I like making the cells change to happy green and ticking off goals. So have made the one attached, other people prefer to keep a written journal of measurements or a photo journal with new photos each month.

@unmarkedbythat

The best way to ease into fasting is to make sure you’re already fat adapted and in Ketosis then you naturally fast without consciously trying.

When I try to find a good explanation of 'fat adapted' all that comes up is sites promoting Keto; is there anywhere I can get a less biased summary of what it actually means?

Fat adapted is basically using your fat stores as energy instead of glycogen. It does go hand in hand with Keto which is why Google’s is throwing you those pages. If you’re eating high carbs and trying to fast you’re going to be really hungry basically.

Agree with so many points here - no ‘diet’ rules, something that works for you so that you can sustain it, incorporate some exercise that you enjoy (or at least can tolerate regularly and not hate!)

Hunger is a good, functional biological sensation. In the same way you get the urge to pee or sleep, hunger prompts us that our body needs food. Diets make hunger ‘wrong’ and mess up your relationship with food and body. What is important is what you give your body when you are hungry (and how much). Every time you eat you get to make the choice about what is best to satisfy your hunger (not dictated by diet rules). Apply what you know about nutrition-protein and good fats, whole foods and lots of veg is what you need for health and satiety. I believe that if you fill your body with empty calories you still crave food because nutritionally the tank is still empty. So prioritise those without demonising sugar and carbs because sometimes we need those too, even if it is for emotional reasons - food as comfort is also very natural and unsurprising. The key is gauging how much we really want those at any given moment, set a sliding scale in your head...as a pp said, think about how you will feel afterwards. Also think about how much of a portion you want/need. Sometimes just a small sweet morsel can be enough. When you make the choice to have say, chocolate/cake, make it the best you can get and really take time to enjoy it (don’t snarf it in the corner of the kitchen and pretend it never happened )

I post on these threads

The September 7lb per month challenge! http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weightlosss_chat/4013012-the-september-7lb-per-month-challenge

They are massively supportive and there's no pressure to lose 7lbs a months. Everyone loses weight differently and we post when we're having bad weeks and months etc. It's a nice and supportive place to check in.