I’m not a fucking bigot.

[FuckHim]

Name changed.

I read the post about the attached poster. As a WOMAN who had a difficult pregnancy, as a woman who considered has had an abortion, I shared this with my DP. We’ve had arguments about woman’s rights before, and he thinks I’m transphobic. I’m not. I just know that women don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. This was another example.

DP has told me how I am wrong for being upset that woman aren’t referenced (but ‘men’ and ‘people’ are) in a pregnancy poster. I am transphobic, nasty and cruel.

Am I wrong to be upset? Considering the abuse I had when abortion came up, this matters to me. It matters so much. My self worth is at an all time low. I already felt disgusted after we had sex yesterday (his pleasure, not mine), and an argument quickly escalated where he kicked me out.

The argument has escalated this time with him taking me keys, telling me to leave, but be back by morning because he has work (so do I, and much earlier than him).

Now he’s decided I’m wrong for trying to leave and actually I’m supposed to stay with DS so he can go. I’m horrible person for ‘putting him’ in that position where I leave.

I’ve been feeling shit and low about myself. All I’ve wanted is a cuddle. In terms of the above poster, I feel like my opinion matters more as a ‘person’ who carries babies. He thinks I’m a bigot. Am I?

I don’t know what I’m asking. I know I’m done with this but I can’t cope with my opinions and views being diminished into nothing.

cloudy I think you are missing the point.

People can identify as they wish, who on here has said otherwise?

If you honestly don't find the fact that the word women has been omitted from an abortion poster then that is your prerogative but it is one thing respecting a persons wish to identify as they wish and another using linguistic aerobics to fail to mention the class of people who actually do need the service in the poster entirely.

it appears that this debate must always centre the transpersons feelings, that's fine, inclusive language is fine but when it starts to exclude the class of people who actually need the service (and lets not forget a woman who needs to have an abortion is vulnerable by the nature of the required service) and that woman is called a bigot (and worse) for pointing that out. It is not fine.

There were so many ways that this poster could have been inclusive but the designer chose not to be.

I'm not replying anymore because it's honestly pointless

You’re right pet. You just stay in your safe little bubble and we women shall continue to fight to retain those spaces that were created to give women a place to retain feelings of safety, dignity and privacy, while being free from male bodied people. Imagine being so woke that you feel it’s acceptable to ignore the wishes of the sex that suffer disproportionately at the hands of the other sex. Go you. What a kind person you are.

It's a horrible poster and he's a horrible partner. You are not a bigot. The word 'woman' is being seen as disgusting phobic language, while 'men' carries on scot free. The number of companies refusing to use it, and some women even cheering them on, is a depressing sight.

IMO it's no accident, women's spaces, women's sport, women's charities and groups. Me too. Men have now pushed back, in the most calculating way possible. They're taking it all away and if any woman stands up and says no she's a nasty bigot. Other women even turn on her. We're 'people' now, we don't even deserve a word. And without an identity it's easier for men to treat us like shit, we're just there to f*ck like pornstars and do the bloody cleaning.

Speaking of treating like shit, that's what your partner is doing to you. He thinks you don't deserve a name, so he can treat you like a thing that doesn't need love, or respect. Just to shag and then shut up. No wonder he's jumped on the bigot bandwagon.

You deserve 'woman'. You deserve so much better.

(Sorry for the rant!)

@AlsoNotAGirl

Suggest we don't engage with those trying to derail the conversation and derail it, they may be trying to get posters to accidentally make comments that will get the thread deleted, we've already seen one important AIBU thread deleted this week

Very good point. You’d think I’d know by now!

Fuckhim

The very fact that he is not even sensitive to your history with abortions is a redflag about how bereft he is of emotional maturity and respect for you. I wish you well and that you are safe.

Again, the vast majority of people in the world have a gender identity that matches their biological sex.

Says who? How many of all the billions of people in the world believe “gender identity” is a real thing?

Good luck OP. OF COURSE you are not a bigot.

Your self esteem and self worth are low because you live with a WOKE Wanker who thinks only his invalid opinions matter.

I bet 3 months after leaving him you'd feel like you have been set free.

If we allow the conversation to continue unchallenged, the word woman will be redefined without reference to biological realities.. it will be too late and we will have no words to describe us and we will be further from the desired point that women have equal share of money, power and voice as men than we are today.

I showed this poster to my husband who immediately saw it another way.... that all women are now 'MEN WITH UTERUSES'!! Because women, WOMEN, are those that need this abortion service and don't you always put the main user group first?

So, cloudyvanilla language is vitally important.

By the way, this wording certainly then progresses to 'men' being again dominant on the panels and boards deciding about women's abortion rights. Because, if such wording becomes mainstream, someone arguing that females should have more say about abortion cannot define what 'men' mean. Just like there will be 'women' who were not born female also on those decision panels.... nope... can't see any potential erosion of women's rights here. We are all just scaremongers...

The legal repercussions of the erosion of the meanings of words is already apparent or don't you see that?

Again, the vast majority of people in the world have a gender identity that matches their biological sex.

That's a very contentious thing to claim. Any evidence whatsoever of any sort for that, or is it just pure tra bolleaux?

Again, the vast majority of people in the world have a gender identity that matches their biological sex.

No they don’t. Most people in the world don’t give a flying fuck about their “gender identity”, they just know what sex they are.

For those wokesters who are all about the gender identity there are now over 100 gender identities. They all have their own flags and everything. Given there are only 2 sexes chances are they won’t match up, surely?

Of course you're not a bigot

CloudyVanilla
I know you said you weren't going to reply. But, just in case you do, can't you also see that what you say is reasonable and inclusive, is not being reflected or offered to women?
Transwomen want to be called and use the term 'women' so do women.
Transmen don't want to be called women, so why can't literature aimed as issues that exclusively affect biological women say 'women and transmen'.
It is unreasonable to strip a perfectly good and well understood word from the lexicon of it's usual meaning because of a 'phobia' especially as this word in itself is being misused in that context.
It's an illogical conclusion to not use the word woman in order to describe a woman because it upsets someone who doesn't feel sufficiently included by that description.
The alternative being repeatedly used is to withdraw 'woman' from common usage (and understanding) and substitute a less precise word for the thing you are actually trying to describe.

Yet somehow any woman objecting to the 'othering' of themselves as a 'person' is a bigot.
Women are not allowed to be triggered or phobic about how other people get to describe them, yet we are supposed to nod and smile along with dehumanising descriptors of ourselves. I'm not happy with that and I don't think that looks much like inclusivity or fairness.

www.wattpad.com/341462536-complete-list-of-genders-the-complete-list-of-all

Can anyone read this with a straight face?

It is not contentious to say across the whole planet now and in our history most (the vast majority) people have known if they are male or female and their sex and their gender. That does not mean we cannot be kind to those who have various differences, intersex and all the rest but it does not remove the fact that most people are one or the other.

@nolongersurprised

www.wattpad.com/341462536-complete-list-of-genders-the-complete-list-of-all

Can anyone read this with a straight face?

cisgender doesn't appear in the list , how strange.

Surely that's got to be made up?

It is not contentious to say across the whole planet now and in our history most (the vast majority) people have known if they are male or female and their sex and their gender.

It really is. The idea of a person having an attribute called “a gender” is a very recent one, and no-one has been able to define what it is!

@HipTightOnions

It is not contentious to say across the whole planet now and in our history most (the vast majority) people have known if they are male or female and their sex and their gender.

It really is. The idea of a person having an attribute called “a gender” is a very recent one, and no-one has been able to define what it is!

Yep I’d take gender off that sentence. The rest is true

@Xenia

It is not contentious to say across the whole planet now and in our history most (the vast majority) people have known if they are male or female and their sex and their gender. That does not mean we cannot be kind to those who have various differences, intersex and all the rest but it does not remove the fact that most people are one or the other.

While I agree with your statement, Intersex have absolutely nothing in common with trans and the vast vast majority of people with DSD are still only one sex or other. Unfortunately it seems that it’s only woven that are expected to be kind. Men tend to just tell people who try to bully them into not using their own sex descriptor, to fuck off and those little wokesters going scurrying off to pick on women, instead.

*cisgender doesn't appear in the list , how strange.

Surely that's got to be made up?*

It must be, I agree. It doesn’t include “Ghost Vulva” which is apparently a genuine gender identity

@nolongersurprised

*cisgender doesn't appear in the list , how strange.

Surely that's got to be made up?*

It must be, I agree. It doesn’t include “Ghost Vulva” which is apparently a genuine gender identity

They need to add, ghost G spot, since most men can’t seem to find it.

That poster is beyond ridiculous.

And if we can’t use the term women, then we can’t use the term men. Because every argument that applies to the use of the term women applies equally to the term men. But I never hear that as part of any discussion on trans rights.

Most people in the world don’t give a flying fuck about their “gender identity”, they just know what sex they are.

And I also strongly resist the idea that someone else should define how I feel about myself or impose a set of gender stereotypes on top what is already a heavy load of sec based restrictions.