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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you are high risk you should prob not be on the bus?

212 replies

malificent7 · 14/09/2020 07:13

Prepared to get lynched here but i get the bus to hospital placement every day. There is a young man on bus who normally wears a mask. Today he wasn't. He forgot.
A woman on the bus kicked off at him massively as she has cancer. Yes i do sympathise with her but if I had cancer I wouldnt be travelling by bus. Id go to chemo by taxi. The risk is just too great atm.
He should have worn a mask but she should be protecting herself. My mum died of cancer so I know how hard it us.

OP posts:
Kazakaren · 14/09/2020 09:20

My DH was provided taxis and or hospital transport when he had cancer. Obviously if she wasn't going for treatment that's not helpful.

icecreamconie · 14/09/2020 09:23

She did get off at the shopping centre not the hospital.

Ah, you just keep giving OP Hmm

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/09/2020 09:25

Malificent
Are you not the poster, who has had at least one thread and made many posts about not being able to afford to buy your own home? From memory I think you now have. I think I’m right in asking, can you really not see how your presumption that she can afford a taxi is the same as your father’s presumption that you can/could afford to buy a house?

DoTheMaccaroni · 14/09/2020 09:27

My Mum is high risk but she works in a neonatal maternity ward and the only way for her to get to work some days is by bus. She went from shielding for 3 months to being back on the bus in the drop of a hat 🙈 none of us (family) are happy about it but what can you do?

randomsabreuse · 14/09/2020 09:33

Long time pre Covid, DH was effectively banned from any crowded locations, public transport etc and told to go to hospital with any temp more than 37.5... the one time he did have a temp it was straight to a private room in A&E and bloods taken within about 5 minutes of arrival.

Covid or not, mask or not any public transport is not exactly safe when you're heavily immunosuppressed, especially in Winter, with school kids just back at school after 6 months without sharing any germs.

Thecobwebsarewinning · 14/09/2020 09:36

I somehow lost my (very nice, fabric) face mask when out and about last week. Because I’m not a total arse I realised my carelessness didn’t mean I could ignore the rules so I stopped at a sweet shop and bought another one before getting my train home. That’s what that young man should have done rather than getting on the bus without one and potentially infecting everyone travelling.

Bubblebu · 14/09/2020 09:52

I have stage 3 cancer. I did not have a car when I started the treatment and the medication they put me on makes me dizzy and therefore unsafe to drive in any event.
There is absolutely NO WAY i could afford taxis to and from all the appointments I have had to attend - no way. Occasionally I have received the kind offer of a lift from a friend but yes,I have basically got the bus there most of the time (wearing a mask and sanitizing my hands etc)
you are being unreasonable. Do you have lots and lots of cash for things like taxis? Do you actually know anyone personally who has cancer and if yes, how did they get to their appointments (especially if they are single and do not have a car)

SingingInTheShithouse · 14/09/2020 09:53

Christ your lack of awareness is gobsmacking

Of course that's bollox & vulnerable people need to use buses. My DD is vulnerable & she is avoiding buses & trains as much as possible, but it isn't always possible & we are dreading college return as busses will be busier. Taxis would be well over £150pw.

My old & very vulnerable friend is having to use tubes daily & was forced back to work very early on, his cab fare to work would be £50+ a day. Why should he pay all of his wages on cab fares because some inconsiderate dick head doesn't prioritise mask wearing

If people don't have masks, then maybe it's time they weren't allowed on buses, as they are the problem, not the vulnerable person who just wants an affordable way to get from A-B safely

thereisonlyoneofme · 14/09/2020 09:55

I am on chemo, a taxi to my hospital is £30 each way, thats probably why she was on the bus.

Didkdt · 14/09/2020 09:55

He needs to remember it's a life skill but I suspect this is a case of lesson learned the hard way.
In an ideal world there would be easy access to community transport for the vulnerable but there isn't so she has to make do with a bus.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2020 09:56

You say this get a taxi regardless op but where are you going to get cash from if you don't have it? If you have maxed your overdraft and you don't have family to help. You sound pretty naive about how much some people struggle for money.

It was good of you to give him a spare mask

Thebearsbunny · 14/09/2020 09:56

The lovely cleaning lady at my workplace had treatment for cancer last year. She was up at 4.30 to come to work by bus. Another bus then took her to hospital for her treatment. Another bus then took her to her evening job, and then another bus took her home. No sick pay. She was ‘allowed’ to use annual leave towards the end of her treatment when she was too ill to work (annual leave has to be booked in advance during normal circumstances). This is the reality of some people’s lives.

RB68 · 14/09/2020 09:59

This reply has been deleted

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Emeraldshamrock · 14/09/2020 10:01

She did get off at the shopping centre not the hospital The drip feed embellishment.

JinglingHellsBells · 14/09/2020 10:05

I wonder if she is eligible for benefits for her journeys? I know of someone who had an allowance for travel when they were having chemo even though they were not in the 'benefits catchment' group normally - but had along journey for chemo.

sunglassesonthetable · 14/09/2020 10:07

Makes more sense for the young man to pay pence for a disposable mask than expect others to play pounds for taxis.

OP you've clearly never had cancer or you wouldn't have posted this.

Someonesayroadtrip · 14/09/2020 10:07

Wow. So she should stay at home unless going for chemo where she should not pay her electric or food so she can afford? It's all very well thinking "I would pay for the sake of my health" but the reality isn't that at all is it?

I mean people die all over the world because they can't afford health care. It's not they being stubborn, they literally can't afford it, so they die.

I mean I have been referred twice in the last 8 weeks under the 2 week rule (High chance of cancer pathway) but the NHS here is just not doing anything and I'm just not getting seen. I could pay privately for a biopsy but that would cost me about £3,500 which I can't afford. So I have to just wait.

If I needed a taxi each week for 6 weeks of chemo a taxi would cost be around £50 for a return trip, which is £300. I could afford it, but it's a lot of money when they are laws in place and frankly if people followed it's just as unsafe I'm a taxi as you can't guarantee the taxi driver isn't carrying it or the previous passenger.

Life isn't black and white, we all make decisions in the gray area. Chemo can be very difficult and really affect your mental health, it's great she is getting out and going places as that will help. It is so wrong to judge her for going out, when it was him who was not obeying the law.

sunglassesonthetable · 14/09/2020 10:08

And guess what OP @malificent7 people with cancer go to shopping centres too.

Namechange0h8 · 14/09/2020 10:11

Where I am a taxi to my closest hospital and back would be near enough £50. If you're going for Chemo regularly that is completely unaffordable and most especially if you're not able to work. This is a completley ridiculous post. Im sorry your mum died from cancer but that doesn't give you any right to be judging whether someone should or shouldn't be using the bus.

Serendipity79 · 14/09/2020 10:12

For me Covid has really shone a light on people - and what some peoples expectations are of the world.... I am shocked on a daily basis by peoples sense of entitlement.

That lady is probably terrified every time she gets on that bus, which no doubt is costing her a lot already, without someone wanting to add taxi fares on top for her.

I forgot my mask in the early days, I got to Tesco, realised I didn't have it and drove home to fetch it - inconveniencing only myself. And now I keep one in every handbag, one in the car etc... to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Getting onto public transport without a mask, because you've forgotten it is selfish. Pure and simple. Yes you might forget to take one but then don't get on the bus. But instead of acknowledging this, you want to blame the lady with cancer for not protecting herself better against this poor guys forgetfulness…..

Redcherries · 14/09/2020 10:19

I wonder if she got off the bus early as she had felt so uncomfortable and anxious.

Jeaniealogy · 14/09/2020 10:45

The hospital will arrange transport for patients undergoing treatment such as chemo. My very vulnerable lung cancer patient mum is on palliative care and until recently taken to chemo appointments by patient transport. Hospital transport used to reclaimable under Tax Credits but not sure of the position now.

ChaChaCha2012 · 14/09/2020 10:54

The OP posted at 7.13am and this supposedly happened today. So if the lady was going to the shopping centre it was for the supermarket, as no other shop would be open. Supermarkets are essential and the lady was very sensible to go at the quietest time.

More likely the OP made up that part to make her look less ignorant.

utterlynutty · 14/09/2020 10:55

Regular taxis would soon mount up to quite a significant sum of money.
Where I live,a bus to the local hospital would cost £3.60 return.
A taxi for the same return journey would be at least £30

rainbowunicorn · 14/09/2020 11:05

@malificent7 just stop! Every post you make just makes you sound like an even bigger arsehole. Your attitude is awful.
The poor woman has every right to be on the bus and get off wherever she damn well chooses.
You say you are a skint student. I am not sure you understand skint if you think that regular taxi use is anything but a fantasy when skint.
How about you think before you bloody speak. The woman if she has cancer is very likely either not working or working reduced hours at the moment. She may well have been skint even before the cancer and literally have not enough money to feed her family and put heating on. Where teh fuck is she goingh to magic uo the taxi fare from.
You have no clue why she was in the shopping centre or how far she had to travel to get there. We don't all live 10 mins from a large town or city. The nearest hospital to me that offers cancer treatment is 80 miles away. How exactly would I pay for taxis for that distance. I would also have to visit my nearest shopping centre which is 30 miles away, again where is the taxi fare coming from? Perhaps you think that people with cancer should not shop or go anywhere other than the hospital.
I have read a lot of stupid things on here latesly but this is really the worst.