What has been your daftest injury?

[WomenHour]

I would say being pushed into a thorn bush

I slipped slightly getting out of the bath and grabbed the sink. In doing so I managed to tear a muscle in my chest. I was in agony for weeks, it even hurt to breath.

Hairline fracture in foot in a hospital car park. I twisted my ankle on uneven ground on my way to some training.
Broke a bone in my foot on my first day at Disneyland Paris whilst waiting for the parade.
Hairline fracture in a finger by whacking my hand on the table whilst doing a workout!
But my absolute worst one was when I slipped over having just got out of a hot tub at midnight whilst on holiday in a sunny country. Dislocated my shoulder & broke my elbow! Had to fly home the next day & go straight to a&e. I would say I am incredibly accident prone

Cleaned the blade of hand blender without turning it off cue lots of blood😟

I know someone who stood on the tines of a rake so it flipped up and the handle smacked them in the face

I broke my arse falling down the stairs (actually fractured the coccyx).

I also broke my big toe whilst blind drunk one night, and didn’t even realise until the morning. Had to go to hospital with my one night stand...

Ha @User3627290 that is such a cliche injury

I slipped getting out of the bath, fell and chipped a tooth on the radiator. Just fell on my tooth and took paint off the radiator down to bare metal. No one would believe me as I had no other injuries...

Dislocating my jaw. I yawned and it just popped out of place. So painful and had a half pumpkin face for days afterwards.

I burst a blood vessel in my finger putting my shoes on

Not very wide awake first thing in the morning. Went to light the gas under the kettle for a reviving coffee. Lit the match, then the gas; after that, I know full well that the drill is, inhale first, then purse lips and bring match up to blow it out, then blow.
Instead, I held the lit match to my lips, pursed them and inhaled, sucking the flame towards my lips.
That woke me up properly.

I sprained my knee really badly taking a cake out of the oven. I was in socks and slipped on the tiled floor. Managed to save the cake, but wasn’t able to drive for three months.

I was painting the door to the loft when I somehow managed to slip off the ladder and fall down the stairs. I knocked myself out and had a massive slash on my forehead and huge bump on the back of my head. I'm lucky it wasn't worse really!

Dh was in the next room and ran out when he heard the first thump. The ladder was at the top of the stairs and the paint had fallen down the stairs after me, splashing all over the newly decorated wall and brand new carpet!

I once cut my head open by smashing it on the edge of a table in a restaurant when I pretended to dive underneath it to hide from my boyfriend as a joke. My blood still runs cold at the memory of it.

I was at work and was getting the first aid box off the wall to get a plaster for a very minor cut. The first aid box was quite high and I’m quite small and in reaching to grab it, the first aid box fell off the wall hitting me square in the fair and splitting my lip, felt very ironic.

Bent down really quickly to catch something falling and pierced my buttock with a knitting needle that was sticking out of a bag of knitting.

The other day, I needed something to stand on to reach the top of the shrub I was pruning and couldn't use steps as it's on a bit of a slope. I got a metal folding bench that we used to take camping out of the garage and put it up and climbed on to it, whereupon it collapsed and crashed to the ground.

I had completely forgotten to move the swivelly bit that stops the legs from folding up and had the most massive bruise on my arse, it covered a good third of my left buttock (and my buttocks are NOT small!).

I would love to share a pic of said bruise, but DP is a useless twat and can't take a picture with a phone despite my most excellent and idiot-proof instructions, so I don't even know how bad it was.

Bent down really quickly to catch something falling and pierced my buttock with a knitting needle that was sticking out of a bag of knitting.

Howling 😂😂

Once, I stumped my toe on the corner of a door. Not even sure how I managed to do that now. Anyway, had an x-ray as it hurt like hell and turned out I'd broken my little toe. And yes, I felt like a massive twat 🙄

Stumbled backwards drunk and smashed my back on the corner of a table. Couldn't even carry a towel for the rest of the holiday.

Split my foot open in the garden trying to run away from a slug 🐌

Broke several toes walking into sofa corners, I may have done this more than once!

Severe Burnt hand touching a stainless steel casserole pot that had been in the oven for hours on end.

Steam burn to foot.

Slipped getting out the shower, smashed my face on the opposite wall and sprained my knee!

Very accident prone!

Another arse breaker here, Fell down the stairs while reading a book (it was a good one) broke two ribs as well.

Face plant skiing (didn't notice the big drop) dislocated shoulder & rotator cuff damage. Trying to sleep with your arm pointing up in the air is hilarious (not)

Face plant when stoned. Black eye & sprained throat 🤣

Oh, and when I was 18, a large speaker vibrated itself to the edge of a shelf at a party and crashed onto my head. A big gash, claret everywhere and a trip to hospital where I had 12 stitches.

The mother of the girl whose house it was arrived home to find her house full of drunk teens, her living room, kitchen and hall splattered with blood and me sitting in the kitchen bleeding into the sink. The girl's lovely older brother took me to A&E, waited with me, and drove me home afterwards, which was a trip of about 30 miles in total. He insisted on speaking to my parents to explain that I might have concussion and wished them a Merry Christmas, as by then it was about 3am on Christmas morning.

Do they still make Quickies? Trying to take mascara off with a nail varnish remover pad. That was fun, said no one ever.

Three weeks ago, I was putting away several knives into their wooden block, had several knives in my hand, and I knocked the paring knife out and it dropped straight down and went completely through my left big toe. Luckily, it was left of center so missed anything critical. I was wearing my birks and the tip went into the cork, so the knife was standing straight up through my toe. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Coming out of the maze at Hampton court and slightly cutting my foot on the turnstile. To my embarrassment a security guard insisted on calling an ambulance and I had to go to A&E.

I also once fell out of the bath and hurt my shoulder...

@Notwiththeseknees

Good grief! Thank goodness you didn't blind yourself!

Dislocating my shoulder pushing a heavy supermarket trolly with a mind of its own.. agonising and quite unexpected.