What has been your daftest injury?

[WomenHour]

I would say being pushed into a thorn bush

@DrunkOnEther

Second-degree burn on my boob and nipple - was ironing topless one morning, heard a noise, swung round and in the process swung my boob into the iron.

I'm wincing just reading this....

Running to the loo got stuck on the bathroom door handle by my bra strap and fractured my collar bone....... I really really needed that wee! 😳

Rode my bike off a small cliff and twisted the ligaments in my foot on landing. It was a path I knew probably too well and a section had disappeared onto the beach one night during a landslip. Fell about 20 feet but was incredibly lucky as the soul I landed in was very soft and sandy- imagine a delivery of topsoil from a lorry, it was that soft! My life flashed before my eyes and everything, it was quite a surreal experience and the adrenaline hit was astounding

I was walking home (no alcohol involved) and I broke my little toe recently. Honestly didn't fall over at all but I woke up in the night a few hours later in excruciating pain with a little toe that had magically doubled in size!

It's a very 'me' sort of injury - I have form!

I play roller derby, falling chest first into the penalty box and giving myself bruised boobs for about 3 weeks

I have a couple.

I was about 18, and got rip roaring drunk at my cousins engagement party. Got home, tripped over the dog and landed face first on the kitchen tiles, smashing my two front teeth. Was Saturday the next day so no dentists open, and I was going to Ibiza that afternoon so said fuck it I’ll deal with it when I came back.

Thought the best way to deal with it was to keep drinking so I did. Think I sobered up about the Wednesday wondering wtf happened. Worse pain was the bruise covering the palm of my hand, not the teeth. Pics from that holiday are interesting!

Another one, I had massive heels on in a nightclub, drunk as hell again. Dokied down about 20 stairs on my way out, and knocked myself out. Came around to the bouncer straddling me and slapping my face to wake me up. I just stood up and toddler away for a taxi, no lasting damage luckily.

Sort of outing as I don't know anyone else this has happened to, but I once got stuck in a bridge.

There was a hole covered by snow, and I went through the gap to above my knee. My foot was stuck in the stream below. I was stuck there for two hours in temperatures below freezing whilst hikers formed a wind break around me and let me eat all their chocolate, and my parents fetched hot water bottles from the house a mile away.

I stapled my own finger.

Stubbed toe while running for the phone, nearly took my nail off.

When riding a horse in slightly-too-short jodhpurs and short boots as a young teenager, the stirrup leather rubbed and rubbed and rubbed against my shin, leading to an impressive-looking burn when I looked down at it in the car on the way home.

@thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter

All the staff at A&E thought so too I was just walking home on a poorly lit pavement and chatting,not looking down and then 'ow'. Hedgehog was OK though probably a bit startled.

PS I was in opentoed sandals

Opened the curtains at work and the rail came away from the window, curtains and attached rail hit me slap bang in the middle of the head. Came to with a first aider, my supervisor, department manager, engineering boss, GM and the girl who was shadowing me all stood round me. Curtains needed washing, as I'd bled a bit on them. Got two extra days off work and came back with bruising to forehead, top of head, two black eyes and a lump on top of my head.

Years ago decided that it would be a really good idea to blow a raspberry on my mums cats tummy. Didn't think he was able to wrap himself around my face and ended that one looking like I'd a patchwork face. Don't try this at home.

@oofsplat- that happened to me once, but it was gout!! DH laughed just socks off, and kept saying “but all you eat is broccoli and fruit”. Not strictly true, but it don’t have a rich meaty, boozy diet either.

I fell in a ditch on a Halloween walk (with children round the village), dressed as a zombie bride. It really hurt and I was soaked to the skin. Had to explain that at A and E.

I have had a few...

Tripped over a trampoline (trying to run onto it) broke big toe.

Was hanging up a freshly ironed dress in my wardrobe, had bed socks on and I have wooden floor. Slipped and my elbow fell into a necklace hook, breaking my elbow. 3 months after I was still in so much pain it turned out I had broke it in multiple places.

Ice skating (only 6 months after broken elbow) with 2 8 year old nieces. Both were like bambi on ice, one tripped which caused me to fly up in the air and fall right on my backside. Broken coccyx and sitting on a holey pillow for months on end.

I seem to be getting worse as I get older....

Sliced my thumb open using that slicey section on the grater to quickly slice some potatoes into a casserole, went to minor injuries with that as it was bleeding so profusely. Had to drive myself in with a make do dressing of all the plasters in the house and a large jeye cloth wrapped round it like something from a CarryOn film.

Took BOTH feet off a ladder when stretching to paint the last corner of the porch ceiling...luckily (???) the step ladder only just fitted in there so there was no where really to fall...although the front door was behind me and as I went down the door handle hit every inch of my back and left a scraped bruise from my arse to the back of my neck. I sat there wedged between the foot of the ladder and the door and wept for a little while

My ladder privileges have been revoked and I am Officially NOT Allowed to use any ladder anymore unless there is a responsible adult in the house

Hit myself in the face with a carseat...massive bruise/swelling/almost black eye....I was trying to fold down the rear seat in ds's car and could not work out how....suddenly found a lever, pulled it and the back of the seat twanged right into the side of my face at full force causing aforementioned injuries, PLUS a nice brisk whack to the other side of my head as it boinged off the door pillar.

I am quite accident prone on the whole.

I've only ever broken 2 bones in my life. Both toes, both when paddling. Bare feet and rocks about is a dangerous combination.

I've got 3;

1. Tripped over the cat on the landing, stubbed my big toe on a blanket chest, and split it like an overripe tomato
2. Tripped up a step at work (bit of a theme here) caught my little finger on the wall and pulled the tendon. The finger still droops 40 years later. 3)Having a chiropractic treatment, I had my hands under my chest and managed to dig a fingernail between my ribs. All the intercostal muscles went into spasm, and I had to have 2 massages to sort them out.

@weegiemum Yet another arse breaker - on autumn leaves on outdoor steps in the rain.
I did that too, slipped on wet leaves and fell off a kerb all of an inch high; sprained my ankle and was off work for 2 weeks.

Stepped on a rake like in a Tom & Jerry cartoon.

Best bit was I had to take child to hospital appt. about 4 days later when the bruises were at their maximum gruesomeness.

I sneezed and bashed my head on my computer monitor- very embarrassing as l was in a new job!

Was taking the piss out of a co-worker and her choice in men when shopping for lunch.

Walked into a plastic chocolate display stand and sliced my arm (literally scraped a thin line of skin about 10mm deep clean off) and had to get a tetanus jab and still have a scar on my arm 10 years later!

Stabbing myself in the forehead with a pair of nail scissors when I bent down to switch off the Christmas tree lights.....had to put my hand against the wall to steady me and had turned the scissors towards me as I was carryng them for safety :)

This morning. Cutting the top of something and cut right into my finger. Blood everywhere. You'd think I know how to use scissors by now.

My friend has a big scar on her chin that she got from tripping over an old fashioned wooden first aid box