What has been your daftest injury?

[WomenHour]

I would say being pushed into a thorn bush

I've told this one on MN before, but one time I was putting DS2 into the car then I bent over to pick up something.

I had my gym bag over my shoulder, and when I bent over it slid down my arse in my slippy leggings and trapped me like a peg!

I tried to stand up and actually rolled sideways like a woodlouse THROUGH the wee fence between ours and NDNs drives!

Fractured elbow after getting my arm trapped in a revolving door. It was a very hot day & I had been sent to the office building next door to collect the post, a very good looking man was driving past in a convertible car not wearing a shirt, I was that busy taking a good look, I didn't notice someone coming in the door as I was going out & trapped my elbow.

Fell down some stairs and while drunk at a party. Didn't realise I was injured and kept dancing. In the morning my foot was huge, black and blue. I had torn the ligaments in my ankle, and couldn't walk for weeks!

When I was 8 years old, my dad took me to where he worked (a lab full of plants - he was a botanist at a University). I saw an interesting-looking cactus and wondered what it smelt like, so I put my nose really close to it and inhaled... My dad spent hours with some tweezers and a magnifying glass picking the spines out of my nose and face...

A disabled person wrecked my local chemist's shop by pressing the wrong button on their mobility scooter & ran over an assistant's foot & broke it. Since them mobility scooters have been banned from entering.

Shut my own car door on my own head. I was sitting down as I was pulling it shut and got the ratio wrong.

Dislocated my shoulder flicking a tea towel. Did it again doing an eskimo roll in a kayak - almost drowned be cause I was underwater and couldn't roll up or get out easily.

Pulled a tooth out, fainted, banged my head on the side of the bath on the way down.

Second-degree burn on my boob and nipple - was ironing topless one morning, heard a noise, swung round and in the process swung my boob into the iron.

Decided to use oven cleaner to clean the inside of the glass on my wood burning stove, glass was still warm. Sprayed the oven cleaner and the fumes were obviously toxic. I passed out and split my head open on the corner of the fireplace. Luckily DH was at home!

A daft incident which fortunately did not lead to an injury. Had my VR set on and was playing with the Mission ISS app I’d down loaded. Got completely disorientated simulating weightlessness, lost my balance and went crashing down on the hard living room floor. I’ve never dared try it again since.

My sister gave me a black eye with a hairbrush. I ducked when she threw it but she was aiming for my stomach. She was 9 and I was 12 and school was embarrassing

Leapfrogged over a bollard in Cork platforms (90's) and broke my foot. In plaster up to my knee for my 21st.

Stubbed my little toe on the coffee table and broke it. The toe that is, the coffee table was fine.

I had 5 weeks off work which sounds loads, but i couldn't even put my shoe on. It was the middle of winter, so not flip flop weather! As well as that I'm a mental health nurse and at the time was o. The wards. I was limping down to the GPS every week saying "how can I restrain a disturbed patient when I can't even put my shoe on?"

'On the ward's.

Wards even.

Decided it was a great idea to use a 3 legged stool on deep carpet (with one leg that was loose and I knew it was loose) to stand on to change a light bulb. I thought my (14.5 stone) weight would keep the loose leg in place. I broke my finger and hit my head when the stool collapsed. Brainless !!

Remembered another one!
Back in the 90s when the last song played at nightclubs round my way was always New York, New York, a bunch of us were dancing to it in a circle. I got kicked in the ankle by a girl in massive platform-soled boots, and it immediately swelled up like a football and started turning black. My friend got me to some stairs to sit down, then a bouncer came rushing over shouting “you can’t sit there!” When I took my hands off my ankle he turned green and ran off to find me some ice. X-ray next day didn’t reveal any obvious fracture but I was on crutches for a few weeks, never did find out what I’d done!

Ended up with an avulsion fracture in my thumb... from doing the splits

I stepped on a triangular building block and fell over.

I hurt my shoulder with the fall and had an absolutely massive bruise on the bottom of my foot, I also cried as it was about 1000times more painful than any Lego I've stepped on.

Cutting a carpet with a stanley knife and it slipped cutting my thumb.

I was that child they told stories about if you were swinging on your chair, i fell off the back of one and had a nasty sprained neck.

Broke my little toe on the running machine. It was left down and I got up in the middle of the night to see to ds 2 , kicked my toe on the way to see him. It was so bloody sore

Got a moped for my 16th birthday, took it for a test drive round the field behind my house, first corner I tried I fell off and my thigh hit the corner of a brick left laying about.

Biggest lump and bruise I've ever had. 20 years later I still have a permanent lump in my thigh.

Slipped over and broke my wrist ... in hospital.

Not paying attention when cutting packaging for XH's business.
I sliced the palm of my hand with a craft knife.
Cue LOTS of blood and five stitches.
The scar still gives me trouble 20 years on.

I pulled my darts out the board, pulling the board off the wall. Board then bounced off my head onto my hand, pushing a dart through the hand.

Luckily, it wasn't my throwing hand, and it missed anything vital. I pulled the dart out, cleaned it up, put a plaster on, and carried on playing. I won.