To be irked with these parents and also DC re party?

[SNAFUandFUBARsimultaneously]

AIBU to be a little irked by these parents (and obviously the DC too)

Friendship group of teenage DC, around 16-17yrs old, so obviously older teens but still at school/college and living at home. We are in a local lockdown area with high CV growth rate, so no socialising in homes allowed. Of course one of these DC is throwing a party tomorrow

I totally understand the logic of DC thinking they can see each other at school/college anyway so why can't they meet up (although some are in different classes/years so don't actually see each other). I agree some of the rules are contradictory and complete bollocks quite frankly. I also understand the mindset of teenage DC assuming BadThingsWillNeverHappenToMe as they do at their age (and I did myself). I also sympathise that their lives, especially social lives this year have been shit. I get all that, I really do.

But we are where we are and going to a party means not only does my DC go and mingle with others, they also have to take a train and a bus to get there and the same back. There is also a confirmed CV case at a church literally at the end of the road of party house.

Of course all the other parents are fine with it and everyone else is going and while I totally understand the DC wanting to party, it really really fucks me off that the hosting parents are allowing their DC to throw parties (and yes, they're there and not away and they do know about it) and putting others in this position.

I have just said to my DC that at their age I can't stop them going, but they have to weigh it all up and make an informed decision. I have said I don't want them to go and I'm not trying to emotionally blackmail them, just explain my position and leave it up to them. I have said if they decide not to go, to say they have weighed it up and decided against it, not to say "my mum won't let me" (which would be a total own goal!) I also hope they might set a good example for DC/parents who are also uncomfortable but don't want to be the awkward one.

At their age parents don't know each other or communicate, it's all between the DC but still, obviously the party parents have to be OK with this - I feel they are BU for allowing this situation to exist. AIBU?

(To avoid drip feeding I am on the shielding list but don't want that to factor in the decision as I'm trying to frame it as just "doing the right thing in general" not "having a shit life because your mum is ill". IYSWIM, it's a bit hard to explain)

Well thank you for the judging of my poor parenting, although I didn't actually ask for input on that, my AIBU was actually about the party parents causing stress for other people by creating this fucking situation...feel free to judge them

If you RTFT you will see that DD weighed it all up herself and took the decision not to go. To my mind, a much better outcome all round - short and long term) than me just locking the door and hiding the keys, I'm glad I've raised a young woman (and she is a young woman) with the skills and confidence to make a sensible and difficult decision - at least in this case! Every child (or young woman ) needs different parenting and I respect other people would handle this/their DC differently. I wouldn't judge them for handling their DC their way. I might myself have handled it differently if it was another of my DC eg DS2.

I didn't ask for advice on my parenting (although some was very useful actually) I really just wanted to know if I was BU for being irked with the other parents for putting us all in a difficult situation?

PS @derxa. Elaborate

I really just wanted to know if I was BU for being irked with the other parents for putting us all in a difficult situation?

Yes, YABU. If all the other parents jumped in Brooklyn bridge would you too? It's an invitation, not a summons.

Well it's not really anything at all like jumping off Brooklyn Bridge is it, though? (And "invite not summons" is for MN weddings not parties )

AIBU to be annoyed with people throwing a party, against the law, in a local lockdown area with really high rates of CV and putting my DC in an uncomfortable awkward position?

Even older teens need a get out clause sometimes. "My mum wont let me" was always a valid excuse when I was a teen and was actually preferable to say to friends rather than "I'm scared of going to that grown up night club and just want to stay in..."

AIBU to be annoyed with people throwing a party, against the law, in a local lockdown area with really high rates of CV and putting my DC in an uncomfortable awkward position?

YANBU