Teachers should cut the kids a little slack?

[Vinniepolis]

DD9 has been away from school for 6 months and has been pretty miserable about it. She was soooo happy to go back this week. In English today, she didn’t quite understand what her (new) teacher had asked them to do so asked her to explain. “You obviously weren’t listening!” came the reply. In Maths, she didn’t finish the task in time because she realised she had made a mistake and started over. More words from the teacher about not paying attention, and lots of tears when she got home. She hates being in trouble at school. Maybe she wasn’t paying attention 100%, but AIBU to expect the teacher might cut them a bit of slack at the end of their first week back after 6 months away?

notwhattheydo: I think it is very snappy to tell a child they should have been listening when they ask for help.

Also notwhattheydo:

Maybe it isn’t, but I’m responding to the info in the OP and not projecting my own beliefs onto it

Ultimate irony.

There is no irony.

The OP has said nothing to indicate her child was misbehaving. You and other teachers have extrapolated that, because well, children lie, don’t they?

Ah, the irony is intensified by the fact that you clearly don't understand irony.

You have projected your own view that the teacher snapped. For all you know she could have said "xx you should have been listening".

Children don't often outright lie. Instead they tell a version of the truth that often misses out vital parts.

Because the child was upset.

Perhaps it is just normal for you that children go home crying, not for me.

@notwhattheydo

Because the child was upset.

Perhaps it is just normal for you that children go home crying, not for me.

A child being upset is not evidence of snapping nor is it evidence of intent. That is your own confirmation bias.

As has already been explained, said child could have been upset for a number of reasons:

• she thought she would be in trouble,
• she thought she'd made a bad impression with her new teacher,
• she thought the teacher would tell her parent that she wasn't listening and that worried her,
• she was finding the work more difficult and that causes identity or perception issues,
• she's mistake-adverse and so the fact she was 'wrong' upset her.

I'm not saying that the teacher didn't snap. I'm saying there are dozens of possible explanations but, without being there as an observer to the moment, we cannot know the entire truth. I'm saying that we cannot jump to conclusions based upon our own bias.

Because the child was upset.

Perhaps it is just normal for you that children go home crying, not for me.

Children crying is not evidence of a teacher snapping.

I've had a child cry because they forgot their homework. Before the teacher had even spoken to them.

I've had a child cry when I said "why have you not written the date?".

Children cry for all sorts of reasons. One of them can be lack of resilience.

On the face of it, the teacher's comment was mildly critical. I wouldn't be particularly upset about it, as I know my DDs don't always pay attention, and I get irritated by this, too, sometimes. (If it was DD1, I would probably would email the teacher with a reminder that she has hearing loss and as a result does have a poor attention span sometimes, but it wouldn't be a criticism, as it was a new teacher, who didn't know my DD yet.)

I think the debate has moved beyond that one incident, though, as it's clear that a lot of teachers do feel that parents unfairly criticise them. But there's a world of difference between parents bringing up concerns with the class teacher so they can work together to resolve issues and a parent kicking off about every little thing.

If I were a teacher I'd rather my student ask for clarification than do the task incorrectly.
How often should that 'clarificatin' be offered if the pupil is not listening? There are limits.