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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lazy and ignorant or just pure arrogant??

165 replies

3amigosmama · 11/09/2020 11:24

AIBU.. To be pissed off... I have 3 kids 10, 2 and 1 yrs.. And an overgrown middle aged toddler for a partner... Won't shower at home only at work so when he's off for a week ..hmm. Yeah.. And his feet are disgusting.. I put things away after washing and he sulks he can't see them after opening the door for a second.. Or just buys new rather than look for them or wash them.. Won't come to bed for fear of having to get up with one of the little ones.. Never has done since the first was born.. Won't wash up.. do washing.. Cook.. Nothing unless I start shouting that I'm sick of it.. Won't clean up.. Changes maybe 2 nappies a day when I'm at wits end and tied up cooking or something.. if that.. Won't bath the kids.. Won't dress them unless he's desperate to go somewhere.. Most of the time I'm just fighting them out of the kitchen so they don't get hurt because he Ignores the kids no end.. Thinks 5 minutes playing is adequate and can't take his eyes off his phone.. Is a hoarder of shite and pays for storage for it all rather than just get rid or spend the money more sensibly and help with what the kids need or my hefty childminder bill when I am at work.. Drops dirty clothes on kitchen floor even if washer is empty.. Leaves mucky 3 days worn socks on living room floor.. Won't get changed when we go anywhere only when it's with someone he wants to impress.. Leaves things where he knows the little ones are gonna get them and then snarls.. Does nothing but sleep.. Sits downs n in seconds he's snoring no matter where we are, a relatives.. Anywhere.. I ask him to watch them for 5 mins while I get a rapid shower in my ridiculously full schedule.. I've barely gotten up the stairs and he's snoring or there in there with me emptying shampoo in the bottom of the bath or repeatedly flushing the toilet or something.. Getting to the point I darent leave them alone with him..
I've been quite ill for a couple of month now, and really struggled through.. and feel like I am failing as a good mum because I have no time to do propper mum things and spend quality time with the kids other than run myself ragged after them and do housework..
I really am getting to the end of my tether, my kids are my world and I will do anything for them.. But he is just taking the piss..
Surprised he doesn't expect me to wipe his arse for him too.. But I suppose that would mean he couldn't lock himself in the bathroom for half an hour a shite every time he goes upstairs.. Annoyed much..
What would you do?

OP posts:
greeneyedlulu · 11/09/2020 17:58

god lord, sorry to sound so judgey but how the hell did you have 2 more kids with this idiot so many years after the first when he's done nothing!! kick him the fuck out of the house and slam that door shut behind him, and trust me, you will breathe a huge sigh of relief!! Everything else will work itself out!

MomToTwoBabas · 11/09/2020 18:01

This is a joke right? Are you really describing your dog or something?

blueluce85 · 11/09/2020 18:06

I voted YABU... But only because you stay with him and had children 2&3 knowing what he was like...!! Ltb and enjoy life

Angelina82 · 11/09/2020 18:16

You sound like you hate him (don’t blame you, I would too) and I’m pretty sure you know what you should do without needing to be told by a bunch of strangers. But if it’s ‘permission’ you’re looking for OP here you go....LTB.

Angelina82 · 11/09/2020 18:17

You sound like you hate him (don’t blame you, I would too) and I’m pretty sure you know what you should do without needing to be told by a bunch of strangers. But if it’s ‘permission’ you’re looking for OP here you go....LTB.

42daystogo · 11/09/2020 20:05

@VinylDetective

Have one of my very rare LTBs. I wouldn’t tolerate this for five minutes - and I tolerate a lot more than most people on MN.
Ditto to this
katy1213 · 11/09/2020 20:08

And you chose to have three children with him? Why?

Gobbycop · 11/09/2020 20:13

I think you know what to do really don't you.

ALongHardWinter · 11/09/2020 20:26

Just came on to say I'm a astounded that 14% have voted YABU! Shock

Ellie56 · 11/09/2020 20:43

Eww! He sounds gross. I would dump him.

Your life will be so much easier without him leaving his shit everywhere. Your house will smell better too.

RandomMess · 11/09/2020 21:06

You will be happier and have less work if you split.

nonchalantbee · 12/09/2020 09:51

Ahh it's my first LTB. He sounds grim

dayslikethese1 · 12/09/2020 10:03

He doesn't wash?

KunekuneKristmasCake · 12/09/2020 10:24

Time for a fresh start without him

CandyLeBonBon · 12/09/2020 11:07

I'm not sure I understand why you bothered having 3 kids with this prince op. It seems like he's been a dead weight for a while! Do your sums, get rid and move on.

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