Would you cook the whole two weeks?

[Confusedasusual78]

Just interested in others thoughts on this.
I live in another country and my parents and family come to stay a few times a year for two weeks at a time in our house.
Obviously love seeing them.
During that time, we eat out one night and have takeout maybe one or two nights, the other nights I make dinner, wash and clean up etc for everyone..would you do this?
Interested in how others organize things in a similar situation or if you go to stay with family for a length of time.
I was speaking to a friend who said when her Mum comes to stay, she leaves her to get on with it and her mom cooks her own bits, washes up etc.
I don’t akways mind it, but do feel a bit exhausted at times as have a hyper toddler and am recovering from illness..it’s just always been this way though 🤷‍♀️

Not a chance. They're taking the Mickey tbh. Next time they can have one week in a hotel.

We would take it in turns or one cook one wash up. I visit my aunt and always offer to cook or just take it upon myself to wash up, offer brews etc. It's family, you should help out

Do they just sit there and wait to be served?

My mum offers to help even if she just comes around for a drink.

No that is definitely not what I would do!

Also live abroad and if people are staying that long they could make dinner themselves for everyone some nights, or do their own thing. Or go out and give me some space.
I would generally not host for any longer than a week though. MIL always wanted to stay longer than that but we jointly said no.

I must admit I do prefer to cook in my own kitchen rather than others but surely they can help clear up? Also, do your family guests offer to buy a meal out or the takeaways? If not, they should!

I live in another country from all of my family.

It's really split as to who does what. My side of the family help with all food prep for main meals but will sort out their own breakfast and lunch if they want it at a different time, but I help when I'm staying with them, same for any laundry that needs doing. We will eat out once or twice and we often pay for a couple of nights away for us all as we have more disposable income.

DH's side very much treated it as their holiday in an all inclusive, waiter service hotel and wouldn't lift a finger. Fortunately they decided never to travel here again so haven't had to have an awkward conversation and we don't stay with them.

Nah. That’s not ok. A hard thing to break though.

Cooking and related duties should be split fairly.

No! When friends and family come to stay I tend to cook and they might help to clear away and/or wash up. My mum usually offers to cook but tbh it's easier to do it myself. My parents will both wash/dry up and even my friends kids put their own plates etc in the dishwasher now! Similarly when I stay with them I don't expect a hotel service. We might do our own thing at lunchtime and we always make our own breakfasts.
If I invited local friends round for dinner I wouldn't expect them to wash up or clear away but even then they'd probably offer or someone would takes things from the table to the kitchen or put them in the dishwasher.

Fuck no, they are family so they can pitch in and help not treat you like a hotel

If you'd be cooking anyway I don't see the difference of cooking for 1 or 2 more. Surely whilst you're cooking they'd be entertaining the grandchildren.

A hand tidying up etc would be nice though.

It’s my parents, we do go out for lunches that they pay for (I am driving and taking them everyday though obviously) they put half towards the first food shop for everyone and usually pay for all the rest.
They do offer to get more takeaways, but obviously we can’t do that every night and I want to have some nights of healthier bits for my dd (and myself)
My dad used to do a night of doing garlic bread or cheesy potatoes or something, which was nice, but there was akways double the mess to clean up. My mum says she doesn’t feel comfortable cooking in someone else’s kitchen, she washes up on occasion if I sit and wait a little longer instead of doing it straightaway. Other than that, I do it each night and serve it to them.
My dh works until late, but will do a bbq at the weekend for them, the last one he did (just burgers) my dad said ‘I’ll go and take a cup of coffee to him for all his hard work’
Where’s my cup 🤷‍♀️
I just feel it’s not what I’d do.
My dad has said that everyone can get their own and we’re adults etc, we can sort ourselves out, but my Mum stay so wuiet on that! So since, I’d be making dinner for us anyway, I do it for everyone.

*Stays quiet on that one

Just interested to see the way others do it

We mix it. We have some dinner out, some takeaway and when it comes to cooking, the host usually does the most but guests cook some nights too. That's dinner. The rest is basically whatever you make you eat. Often we share the work and cook all together.

How does it work when you go to them?

I'd expect them to muck in. Leaving her Mum to "cook her own bits" is odd too, though? Don't they eat as a family?

My mum who lives abroad just came to stay for 3 weeks. We ate out a few times. But generally I cook. She normally offers to wash up but mostly I do it. This works for us. I meal plan anyway so it was just a case of making sure I made enough for one extra.

I'd be cooking anyway so its not much trouble to just make a bit more. She normally pays when we eat out though.

We’ve not stayed with them probably longer than five days/a week..then it was a mix of takeout and them cooking, I offered numerous times though, but my mum is fairly fussy and just got on with it.

No way. We all eat together, but cooking and washing up are shared between all adults. Children set the table from about age 4.

In our family the rule is that whoever cooked doesn't wash up.

@Thisismytimetoshine Yes, I did find that the exact opposite of us. They seem very different in that they’ll go out or her Mum will on some days. Whereas we all don’t at all, it’s fairly intense 🙈

@Thisismytimetoshine I meant separately, each day we all decide what to do etc

Sounds like your mum is very much "My kitchen, my domain" and assumes that you would be the same.

Personally I would offer to help/cook/pay/wash up if I was staying with someone but equally would probably prefer to do the cooking myself if I had guests, although I wouldnt turn down an offer to do the dishwasher!

It has never crossed my mind not to cook for everyone! My father in law often stays for a couple of weeks at a time and I always plan and prepare the meals.

He always does the dishwasher and will do sandwiches for me but other than that I do everything.

On the other hand if I have diy / sorting stuff that he can help me with me would do that.

It genuinely never occurs to me to have someone else cook in my kitchen

Cold salads?

What we do: whoever hosts cooks and guests help.

Guests are free to make alternate plans and not be around for every lunch and diner obviously, and guest tend to invite the host to a restaurant once or twice.

I would never expect any guest to cook for the whole house or for themselves. It works well, as I don't have to cook when I am the guest!

I totally get and respect why other people would want a bit of help during the 2 weeks, and it's reasonable to ask for it if you do (or actually, they should really offer) but personally speaking I would be doing it all myself because I am that much of a control freak