Would you cook the whole two weeks?

[Confusedasusual78]

Just interested in others thoughts on this.
I live in another country and my parents and family come to stay a few times a year for two weeks at a time in our house.
Obviously love seeing them.
During that time, we eat out one night and have takeout maybe one or two nights, the other nights I make dinner, wash and clean up etc for everyone..would you do this?
Interested in how others organize things in a similar situation or if you go to stay with family for a length of time.
I was speaking to a friend who said when her Mum comes to stay, she leaves her to get on with it and her mom cooks her own bits, washes up etc.
I don’t akways mind it, but do feel a bit exhausted at times as have a hyper toddler and am recovering from illness..it’s just always been this way though 🤷‍♀️

If we have family staying DH or I do the cooking (mostly because we're used to cooking for big numbers as we're a household of 9 already), but they pitch in with the washing up.

You shouldn't be doing it all. If your Mum doesn't feel comfortable cooking then get her and your Dad doing the washing up. I'd also let them shout takeaway twice a week.

Absolutely no way I'd be cooking the entire time, maybe twice a nice meal, probably the first day and mid way through, but no, not for 2 weeks.

Yes, we cook and wash up as normal. My parents are fab and tend to just wash up if they catch a spare moment away from DC. I see it as I'd cook dinner anyway, so why not just cook slightly more for more people. I tend to keep some simple, or make meals that last (huge lasagne or whatever). During the day, we usually discuss where everyone fancies going (depending on weather). Usually some great nature walks.

When we go there, it's similar. We might some few meals, but often they've planned the majority so they make those. We then chip in with washing up/other house stuff instead. My DM is like me and not keen on help in the kitchen (confusing as you lose your place/realise something isn't ready in time). We chat though, while preparing dinner, lay the table etc.

I do most of the cooking at home and it's not that much more work to cook for 2 extra people so I wouldn't mind as long as they aren't fussy and happy to eat what we are having. I would probably plan simple meals, esp if you are having days out. Some things that can go in the slow cooker or similar. Something like a nice bought pie or quiche and salad, baked potatoes, maybe premake a few things and freeze.

We take turns. I don't enjoy cooking but say in a one week period we'd go out twice, I'd cook twice, sister cook once and other two nights just do our own thing. We'd share the shopping bill. Breakfast and lunch are more ad hoc - might go out, might skip it, might just make a sandwich.
My parents have never stayed with me, but my mother was a great cook so imagine shed do quote a bit.
Clearing up is always shared.

I live abroad in a lovely tourist place, and pre-Covid had a lot of family to stay. Everyone always mucks in helping with the cooking and cleaning up, although I'm in charge.
We usually eat out once per visit but the takeaways locally aren't up to much so eat at home the rest of the time.

I do kind if get why they wouldn't want to cook. I often burn whatever I am cooking in strange kitchens. Or things go wrong😂
But they should help with clean up then

Where’s my cup 🤷‍♀️

Why not say that to your dad, in a joky sort of way?

I wouldn't expect guests to cook. I really enjoy cooking and entertaining, though, so i dont see it as a chore. If guests offer to help, there is usually some prep they can do, or they can just have a glass of wine and chat to me while i cook (i like that).

Does your husband not cook?

I think your family should take a turn in cooking and everyone take turns with washing up.

I would tell your dad you'll take him up on his offer of help and he can wash up! Give your mum a break..

Does your DH never do any of the cooking or cleaning up as he's always working, then? Not justifying it but maybe they think 'well, she usually does it all herself anyway..'

When we have family to stay they make their own breakfast and lunch if we're not out. Then I either make dinner or we go out. We usually have extra locals over for dinner so I do a buffet or a big meal like a stew or roast.

My parents only eat out or order take away. Or at least they did before covid. We had to struggle to get any home-cooked food when we visited them. My step-mom really doesn't like people cooking, I've seen her flap about other guests trying to cook, too. When they visit, the meals are about 50:50 home-cooked (we obviously are the only cooks) & take-away/restaurant.

When my MIL visits (which is only for 2 nights at a time tbf) she definitely behaves as a “guest”... i.e. we offer and fetch drinks/snacks and make meals/clear up etc. She never helps herself to anything, not even a glass of water.

I think it’s more because we’re not that close and she probably doesn’t want to step on my toes, rather than because she wants to be waited on.

For the past 10 years, since we moved here every xmas my parents come for 3-4 weeks. I plan every meal (3-a-day) and do shopping lists per couple of days. They do the shopping I do everything else.
On the flipside, when we go visit in the summer I can feel like a princess as everything is done for me :)

When we go to stay with in-laws for a week it usually works out as MIL cooks 3 nights, my husband cooks 3 nights and we go out / takeaway on the last one.
When we used to stay with my mum and dad it was hopeless because my mum is a a complete control freak in the kitchen and would not let us do anything.

I quite like cooking so I would normally take on the majority. No chance would I be washing up and cleaning everynight though. Where is your DH? I would expect everyone to take turns.

I think you should do what you feel is best. For me I do the cooking. But I cook what I want not what they want. I also like to tell them where the breakfast, lunch and tea coffee is (even though it’s obvious) as this is then saying ‘ your making your own and I’m not waiting on you all day’. If they go looking round shops I say ‘ while your out please pick up XYZ’ . Again it means they are contributing. If they stay more than a week I say ‘ tomorrow I’m washing your bedding so please plonk it in front of the washing machine by 10. ‘And then I give them clean stuff folded up as I make the bed up on arrival but not again, they have to do it. Another thing I do depending how I feel is say ‘ im sorry but I arranged to go out Wednesday evening so I’ll have to leave you to it, there’s food in the fridge or here’s the takeaway menu.’ And off I go

I'm very much a stay out of my kitchen it's my domain and no one else ever puts anything in the right place person. I would though happily take them up on the take away offers

My parents generally don’t help at all round the house. They “try”’but are rather inept. To be fair, my dad has Parkinson’s so I forgive him, but my mum is just fat and unfit so tends not to get off the sofa.

So I tend to have to do everything. We go out for the odd meal and get take away but then I’ll just cook and they make a token effort to take their plates to the counter top but not much else.

My mother once offered to come over and “help” as we had no childcare and said she’d do all our cleaning etc but when she’s here she can’t bend down as it hurts her back/knees so I declined as knew I’d just end up looking after her as well.

If they came for any longer than 5 days I think I’d blow my own head off with a shotgun

The whole family, grandparents, aunties/uncles and kids usually stay at 1 house over the summer for a long weekend then the others near xmas for a long weekend and the host does all the cooking, the guests usually bring alcohol and lots of snacks and a pudding! It’s often the host that washes up too but the guests will always offer, but usually it they’re helping with other things keeping the kids entertained, cleaning the table, making drinks etc.

Honestly, it doesn't sound too bad. They're paying their way, offering to get more takeaways and your dad has said they can sort themselves out.
I'd possibly ask them to do a specific thing to help like lay the table or clear up. Even ask if they could peel/prepare the veg before you start cooking whilst you're dealing with your toddler.
It doesn't really sound like they're taking the piss though. I'd hate cooking in someone else's kitchen and would much rather offer to pay for a meal.

I would cook for guests, and never expect to cook at a house I was visiting. I'd be more likely to offer to pay for a meal out or a takeaway than cook in their kitchen (I don't know where they keep things, and I wouldn't want somebody else cooking in mine really).

I do like having company in the kitchen though, so if somebody offers to help I'll ask them to peel potatoes or whip cream, or if there's no jobs like that, give them a G&T and get them to talk to me! I offer to help when staying somewhere, and usually end up doing that type of thing.

We'd probably have breakfast and lunch together too, but I would point out the kettle and the biscuit tin/fruit bowl and tell them to help themselves when they want to. I worry that people might be hungry!

My Dh often doesn’t arrive home until 6.30/7 and they’re definitely hungry by 5.30/6 so I cook it earlier than we’d nirnakly have it when just us. To wait on him to get home then prepare dinner would be a long wait. He does wash up a fair few times though, but it seems to be a case sometimes of everyone waiting around so I just end up getting up and doing it anyway as I’m cleaning toddler up etc.
Breakfast, lunch and coffees I leave everyone to do their own, I didn’t even say anything, just don’t make them, no way could I do that and all Dd’s too.
If it was a weekend or a few days, I’d be doing it all as they are the guests, but when it’s two and has been three weeks, I sometimes think ‘Is there another way to do this’

When my parents visited when I lived overseas with toddlers sometimes I cooked, sometimes mum cooked, once we moved back they only came for 2-3 days and I banned her from my kitchen.

Not seeing the issue really, you'd be cooking anyway if they weren't there and it sounds like they contribute quite a lot towards the food and takeaways. You've said they will clear up afterwards if you don't do it straightaway, so don't and let them...