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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Using surname initial to distinguish between two children with almost same name - almost!

302 replies

NewLookings · 10/09/2020 10:51

Am I being very precious about this? My child has just started big school and is one of two children with a name that is pronounced the same but spelled differently.

I get that verbally they will need to be distinguished by their surname eg Bob A and Bob B. But when written down, is it really necessary? This is not the name but is a close likeness:

Juliet
Juliette

In everything, I have noticed my child’s is referred to as Juliet A and the other Juliette B. Surely this isn’t needed? Her tray, her work on the wall, her name on the class whatsapp group etc etc always with the surname initial.

I KNOW I’m being a bit precious. I know this. And yes, I’m disappointed there’s another one as it’s not a very common name.

AIBU to think there is a difference here because of the different spelling?

OP posts:
toomanyplants · 10/09/2020 10:53

YABU. Seriously, teachers have enough to deal with.
In the grand scheme of things....how much of a problem is this?

Stripesgalore · 10/09/2020 10:53

My daughter was in that position at secondary school. It is easier to add the letter to help other people remember which is which.

VeggieSausageRoll · 10/09/2020 10:54

It's 4 days into the new term. Your child's teacher will know that she's Juliet or Juliette, but may not have worked out which is which spelling wise yet. They have 25-30 other kids names to remember and spell. Far better being Juliet A and Juliette B and getting them right, than getting them wrong. You're being precious.

Original poster
NewLookings · 10/09/2020 10:54

Well not much. But does every question have to matter “in the grand scheme of things”. One could argue hardly anything or anyone matters in that regard.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewLookings · 10/09/2020 10:55

Your child's teacher will know that she's Juliet or Juliette, but may not have worked out which is which spelling wise yet

How does the last initial help with that? Surely they are remembering all the other names with the same degree of difficulty/ease.

OP posts:
Stripesgalore · 10/09/2020 10:56

This often happens with more unusual names as well. DS has a really normal first name. He has never been in a class with another child of the same name.

Yet there were three Judes in DD’s primary class.

randomsabreuse · 10/09/2020 10:56

It's easier to have the visual reminder of which is A and which is B so that what you read "sounds" the same as what you say if that makes sense so:

Lewis C and Louis D...

My DD's name wasn't top 500 in her year of birth. It's the only duplicate name in her class of 12!

TinyTear · 10/09/2020 10:56

At least is not boy Noah and girl Noa as I saw in a class list... but one of them left so the issue stopped

Original poster
NewLookings · 10/09/2020 10:56

It is easier to add the letter to help other people remember which is which

Verbally, yes. But how does it help when you’re marking the book of a child whose name is spelled differently from the other child with a similar name.

How come Amelia and Emilia don’t have their surnames added?

OP posts:
Cookerhood · 10/09/2020 10:57

Mine was always know by her full name at nursery - first name & surname as there were two with the same first name & first letter of last name. Some people I come across still call her it 20 years later & the other girl moved to NZ about 15 years ago. It never crossed my mind to be concerned.

Stripesgalore · 10/09/2020 10:57

Lewis and Louis are pronounced differently.

Findahouse21 · 10/09/2020 10:57

I get your disappointment. In my dd's class are 2 children with her name and one girl with a very similar name. It's a really uncommon name, one of the older teachers told me that they've never had the name before at the school, just an odd coincidence this year. So dd is Jane Smith all of the time. And when her friends call it to her, I think it sounds really unfriendly, a bit like she's being told off to be 'full named' all of the time. So deep down I don't like it being done. But there's no way around it and I haven't bothered the teachers because it's not their problem

Rowan8 · 10/09/2020 10:57

Crikey @toomanyplants that’s a bit harsh.
Each child’s school experience stays with them forever, how does your child feel about it. Get their thoughts and if it still concerns you that it’s confusing when written down, make this clear to the school you’d like this stopped. Do this sooner than later ...

Witchend · 10/09/2020 10:57

Yes it's needed. In my ds' form there were two girls that were Anna and Hannah and most of the form confused the two names right into most of the way through year 1.
I even heard them being referred to as Anna with/without a h.

Hont1986 · 10/09/2020 10:58

"Could you go and put this in Juliet(te)'s tray?"

How are they supposed to know?

PaternosterLoft · 10/09/2020 10:58

One year we had Isobel A, Isabel B, Isobelle C and Ysabella Withawhy.

The children aren't thinking about the spelling rather the sound of the name.

anuffername · 10/09/2020 10:59

@Stripesgalore

Lewis and Louis are pronounced differently.
Not by everyone.
Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 10/09/2020 11:00

My son has exactly the same - unusual name in the country as a whole, but two in the class. Different spelling, sounds the same. They usually have their initial on things, but are also referred to as (equivalent of) “Steven with a v”.

It doesn’t bother me at all!

Stripesgalore · 10/09/2020 11:00

It is continuity between written and verbal. Your child will be known by the whole school as Ronica B or whatever. So when other kids or teachers see artwork or books, they won’t associate one spelling; they will associate the letter with your child because that is what they hear.

toomanyplants · 10/09/2020 11:01

@Rowan8 how on earth is that harsh!!!
Bloody Nora, it's in no way a slur to the child or the parent, or the name!!
It's a method to make things easier in class, simple as that
At such a young age they don't know any different, hardly a big deal imo

PineconeOfDoom · 10/09/2020 11:02

@Hont1986

"Could you go and put this in Juliet(te)'s tray?"

How are they supposed to know?

This
Sorberret · 10/09/2020 11:02

Why would this bother you? Yes you are being precious.

twinkletoedelephant · 10/09/2020 11:03

Ds1 had 4 children in his class with the same name...he even signs family birthday cards namefirst-initial

Tarantallegra · 10/09/2020 11:03

People I've known for years spell my name wrong when written down and it's a not a name with variations so I think it makes sense that the teacher would use an initial to help with this. If they are constantly saying it out-loud with the initial then that's going to be easier to remember than the different spellings.

I know a Gareth/Garath as well as an Elliott/Elliot but I couldn't tell you which is which without double checking. I know all of their surnames though

Hardbackwriter · 10/09/2020 11:05

I'm really sorry that your carefully thought out very very special name didn't turn out to be as unique as you thought (I know a lot of middle-class mums of Lyras who would sympathise with you) but you are being absurd about this and have already given it so much more thought than it deserves.