Using surname initial to distinguish between two children with almost same name - almost!

[NewLookings]

Am I being very precious about this? My child has just started big school and is one of two children with a name that is pronounced the same but spelled differently.

I get that verbally they will need to be distinguished by their surname eg Bob A and Bob B. But when written down, is it really necessary? This is not the name but is a close likeness:

Juliet
Juliette

In everything, I have noticed my child’s is referred to as Juliet A and the other Juliette B. Surely this isn’t needed? Her tray, her work on the wall, her name on the class whatsapp group etc etc always with the surname initial.

I KNOW I’m being a bit precious. I know this. And yes, I’m disappointed there’s another one as it’s not a very common name.

AIBU to think there is a difference here because of the different spelling?

Change your child's name to Mr X -problem solved. (unless there is another Mr X in the class)

I secretly hated being Naughtipuss M growing up. I had a very common 70s name and there were always at least 2 others in my classes. Last year my son was Naughtikit M and I didn't love it, tbh, so I see where you're coming from. He even signed my Mother's Day card "Naughtikit M"! (Though actually we thought that was cute as hell!)

The reason they're putting the initial on even written stuff is because your daughter will get called that all the time in class if they say her name, so it's less complicated for her to see it written down and write it herself.

My DDs both had more than one in the class with that name. DD1 ended up being know by a different shortening of the name - think 'Matty' and 'Tilly' for Matilda. DD2 was proudly '[first name] [initial]' for years. It's part of her identity, and although I guess I was a bit sad at first that there was another in the class, I came to quite like it. I understand where you're coming from, but I really wouldn't worry too much.

My son had the same name as another boy in his class. When they first learned to write it he thought it was spelled JamesD. It's a none issue and certainly not worth fussing about.

I’m a teacher who had four Samuel’s in one class of 18 last year...

Give her a nickname or don’t complain.

Honestly

Gosh. 4 Samuels! We have 3 Oscars, which I thought was bad enough.

Why does it actually matter that your daughter has one initial next to her name?

You haven't said what it is that's upsetting you about it.

Seriously ?

Just forget that the names are spelled differently. They sound the same . Every teacher and pupil is not going to remember that your child's name is spelled some unique way .

It's not as if they've said she is to be known by her middle name or surname .

Absolutely standard practice . Two children in a class are known by both names to distinguish .

Better than 'big Juliet' 'little Juliette'

And if you press for her to be known as 'Juliette with an E' she will be teased for this .

OP you sound like you are getting really upset by some of your responses. I think you must be truly blessed if you have the headspace to get so worked up about this, I mean a fleeting thought perhaps but to feel the need to post about it and then start swearing at other posters, you really are taking it much too seriously.

I think this year has been difficult and perhaps that is making you over react?

With the greatest respect my dear OP, you are going to look back at this post in a few years' time and cringe!

PFB by any chance? We've all been there! ;)

We had four girls called Sarah/Sara and they were always referred to as Sarah A or Sara B because when speaking it’s not possible to distinguish. Your DD will survive.

It is continuity between written and verbal. Your child will be known by the whole school as Ronica B or whatever. So when other kids or teachers see artwork or books, they won’t associate one spelling; they will associate the letter with your child because that is what they hear.

^ This. Your child will become known as Juliette A/B or whatever, so that's what people will get used to. So it's perfectly logical and natural that this will apply on paper as well. You can't rely on kids to remember which spelling is whose, so if they need to put something in Julette's tray, or hand a piece of work back to Juliette etc, then having the surname initial will make sure it goes to the right Juliette.

I have one dc with a really common name, often referred to as and a dc with an uncommon name which is fairly often misspelled or mispronounced. Not worth making a fuss about.

Oh just seen it's not your first! Still cringeworthy though! You're overthinking. :)

There were 3 Angelina's in my class and it worked having our initials after our names. It would been very confusing otherwise.
Artwork included - at the end if the school year when it was put on our desks to take home the teacher couldn't possibly remember who had done which piece.

And if you press for her to be known as 'Juliette with an E' she will be teased for this

When I was at school a hundred years ago I was the only Kay in my class. Then a new girl joined us also called Kay and they decided she would be Kay1 and I would be Kay2. I was outraged because I was there first. I promptly changed the spelling of mine to Kaye and then insisted everyone called me Kaye with an E 😂 (obviously not my real name)

he even signs family birthday cards namefirst-initial

Mine too. I love lokoing back on old cards that say

"To Mummy, I love you very much from Sam G"

@Rowan8

Crikey *@toomanyplants* that’s a bit harsh. Each child’s school experience stays with them forever, how does your child feel about it. Get their thoughts and if it still concerns you that it’s confusing when written down, make this clear to the school you’d like this stopped. Do this sooner than later ...

Did anyone else wonder if they were slipping into a parallel universe as they read this post?

Ah when you say 'big school' you mean primary don't you . I thought you meant secondary . Now I see why you are being so precious. Seriously, chill . Otherwise you are going to find the next 12 years very difficult indeed .

And I mean this nicely

The teachers probably don’t even give it much thought. If child is verbally addressed as name plus surname day to day then it naturally translates onto writing names on the work.

@HasaDigaEebowai

he even signs family birthday cards namefirst-initial

Mine too. I love lokoing back on old cards that say

"To Mummy, I love you very much from Sam G"

Oh that's funny isn't it, my DS did this too .

It’s always been done. My youngest DS has just left school, and people still refer to him as Romeo A. In eldest dc’s class, there were three of the same names (pre-Internet days, so didn’t realise it was so popular) and they all had nn. Think Rome, Rome-y, and Romo.

I'm another one who was eg Clare S throughout school. Never any kind of problem. Can anyone explain what is actually upsetting about this? Is it to do with the child not feeling they are unique?

I mean no name is unique. Unless you're called Twinkletoes McStuffins, you're going to come across people who have the same name as you in your lifetime. What harm does this actually do to anyone? It's like the threads where people are upset that a friend has "stolen" their DC's name. I just don't understand what the negative impact is.

5 pages for that NON issue 😱🤭
Seriously, the most pressing matter IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS is to keep the school open and help the teachers not fritter about the initial. Who cares?

We had two children in school with the exact same name, as in first, middle and last, spelt the same too. Luckily 3 class intake but they were in the same set for maths and English.

One had moved here from 100 miles away so even an overheard a great name bit. The children came up with nicknames for them that they liked.

We also had 6 Isobel/Isabel/Isobelles in one year group. Unless the name cannot be shortened, then both teachers and classmates usually come up with a way to identify each child. We have several William with initial last names, Charlie with initial of last name. Unless your child has a scrabble tile name chances are there is more than one.

Also, don't underestimate the ability for people who have only heard your child's name to spell it incorrectly. I have a child whose name is used in your example. We get both spellings on cards, information letters, etc etc.

It's not just the class teacher who will be interacting with your child - it's the school office and it's the external agencies they deal with on your behalf. If you have the surname letter as part of the moniker then then it minimises the likelihood that letters and information (and even marked up bits of school uniform and the like) will go missing.