Using surname initial to distinguish between two children with almost same name - almost!

[NewLookings]

Am I being very precious about this? My child has just started big school and is one of two children with a name that is pronounced the same but spelled differently.

I get that verbally they will need to be distinguished by their surname eg Bob A and Bob B. But when written down, is it really necessary? This is not the name but is a close likeness:

Juliet
Juliette

In everything, I have noticed my child’s is referred to as Juliet A and the other Juliette B. Surely this isn’t needed? Her tray, her work on the wall, her name on the class whatsapp group etc etc always with the surname initial.

I KNOW I’m being a bit precious. I know this. And yes, I’m disappointed there’s another one as it’s not a very common name.

AIBU to think there is a difference here because of the different spelling?

It's a method to make things easier in class, simple as that

But for art work on the wall? They didn’t need to surname that, did they?

@Rowan8

Crikey *@toomanyplants* that’s a bit harsh. Each child’s school experience stays with them forever, how does your child feel about it. Get their thoughts and if it still concerns you that it’s confusing when written down, make this clear to the school you’d like this stopped. Do this sooner than later ...

Oh and under no circumstances raise this with the school, you will look totally mad.

I think that for the initials to be unnecessary you need to be confident that every single person who might need to respond to your daughter's name in some way is clear about the spelling difference. In the course of a week that could easily include teachers or TA's from other classes, midday supervisors, other children, office staff, certainly not just her own class teacher. When I worked in a primary school I was in ten different classes over a week, and had to make great efforts to learn names. I think I would have struggled if a teacher had given me a list of names and I needed to know that Juliet was Juliet Smith and Juliette was Juliette Jones without some initials to help me! I do have sympathy for you though as I too thought I'd chosen an unusual name for my son, and there were two of that name (same spelling) in his reception class. For ages he always signed his name as Firstname Surname even if writing it outside school eg on Grandma's birthday card.

You are being a massive PFB

In one of my DC's classes there are two boys with the same name, one has a surname that starts with A, the other with a surname that starts with B.

So they are known as:

George A
and
George B

(Not their real names!)

Which I think sounds terrible! But completely necessary. It could be worse OP. The teachers are busy and need to easily and quickly distinguish between children and their stuff.

I voted yanbu. Juliet and Juliette are different and it's not beyond the teacher's capability to not get this confused when handing out books, labelling a child's bag peg, writing about the child etc. The exception being, as you stated, if the teacher says the name aloud, since they do sound the same.

I also think you are overthinking this. Is your daughter upset about it or just you?,

The teacher, initially at least, has to learn lots of names and other info. They neeed to be consistent to get it right.

If they say one thing and worte another then that's 4 names for 2 kids... errors will occur.

How come Amelia and Emilia don’t have their surnames added? Because they are said differently. I had a Milly and a Molly and did not have to add any other data but did with Lewis and Louis as Louis was said the same because the poor kid, a burly rugby player, was mercilessly teased as his name sounded a little bit similar to a certain flambouyant dancer!

You need to manage your annoyance/disappointment so as not to give your DD a complex!

You are being a massive PFB

Ha ha, nope, not my first!

The writing is just a reinforcement of what is said! And it's verbally needed.

Also "big school' YABU.

But they’re pronounced the same, so they will be called ‘name initial’, so it’s just for consistency.

Well she's either going to be labelled as Juliette-with-an-extra-t or Juliette A. Parents and kids won't know that Juliette A is the one with that particular spelling, so when they see work labelled Juliette on the wall they won't know it was hers. Labelling it Juliette A means she has recognition - this is generally a good thing for children, having their work publicly recognised as good enough to display. So it's for her benefit which means YABVU.

As an aside my ds was one of three with the same name. The kids gave all three different variations which they were all happy about although the parent of the one who ended up with the 'chavvy' variation wasn't too happy

The teacher's approach is totally practical and you are being precious about it. You clearly wanted your child to be unique with their special name and their name being shared stings. Get over it.

There are loads of repeated names in DDs class this year. There are two girls called 'Anna' and an 'Annie'. Two boys called 'Thomas' and a Tommy. Plus others shared by just 2 children. I feel sorry for the teacher.

In my other DDs class she's part of rhyming pair. Even though they are 9, people mix the names up apparently...

But titchy that assumes parents know which is which surname. If they can learn that part, why not learn the different spelling instead?

Think yourself lucky! When I was at school there were three of us with my name. Two of us had the same last initial. So we became the equivalent of Juliet Ba and Juliet Bo.

This is quite standard practice and really not worth getting annoyed about.

My child is the only James* in his class but there are James's in other classes.

I put James M* on everything...just to make it easier for everyone

*name changed

Isn't it important that the teacher (and rest of the class) learns straight away that your Juliet A is spelt Juliet , and not Juliette like Juliette B?

Will save a lot of grief later if people know that from the start IMO.

If they don't include the initial how will people who have only heard the names know which is which?

You are definitely being precious. I am impressed you have the time to worry about this level of issue which is a none issue really

Could be worse. My daughter was known as - using your daughter’s name as an example - Juliette two-Ts because the other girl shared her middle and last initial.

How come Amelia and Emilia don’t have their surnames added?

This is an unfortunate example as at DD’s nursery there was an Amelia and Emilia and they did have their surnames added.

I agree that it is done purely for continuity. Things are possibly a bit different with covid, but it will also help any supply teachers that come in and other staff. The alternative would be Juliet-with-one-t-and-no-e-at-the-end and Juliette-with-two-ts-and-an-e-at-the-end which is too much of a mouthful.

Does your DD mind or even really notice?

I think you are going to need to chill out a bit or your kids school experience is going to get very stressful for you - there will be many things to upset you as the years come and go.
I can guarantee the kids don't care, it may change several times as classes/ teachers / schools change and the kids may even change it themselves
Your kid will get more upset if they get sent home with the wrong picture/card/book than if their name is unique/as you stated.

My son was the only one in his nursery with his name (not an unusual name just the way it was) yet still referred to himself as firstname lastname (his choice) which has worked out well as his school class now has 2boys and a girl with the same name.