To be white and find this offensive

[TotallyObsessed4]

Every time I see my (all White) friends they always play rap music where every other word is the N word. I really dislike that word being used regardless of context. I understand The whole claiming it back but does every other word really need to be that one.

After the millionth song and billionth use of the word, I asked if we could listen to something that wasn’t rap. When they asked why, I explained that I find the word very offensive In which they replied you can’t find it offensive as you’re white and how most black people love using that word as it’s their identity And How I’m censoring black voices which makes me slightly racist. Am I missing something here? Shouldn’t they actually research the meaning of that word. Funnily enough at the BLM protest I went to, One of the men who did the speech, who was actually black, said how they wish there was a complete ban on that word even in the black community. And then I got told off for quoting a line of that speech that used that word because I’m white.

So let me know AIBU:
YABU- yes your white, therefore you cannot be offended by racist slurs, and no you can’t use the word even if you are you quoting something (White people should only ever say “the N word” if they need to quote it).

YANBU- that word is offensive and you have every right to be offended by it and there is a difference between quoting something and using the word freely (which I would never do)

Your white Privaledge is showing, might want to tuck it in a bit.

@Finfintytint so are you saying that I ABU and that because I’m white I can’t find that word offensive and I am censoring black voices.

Your friends are the racists

They are happy to rap and sing the N word and even offensively say that it's black people identity and that back people love that word

Yet when you quote a black persons speech saying that they wish the word was banned, suddenly in your friends eyes you are the racist for saying a word that they have been freely rapping/singing

Sounds like they are racists to me and they are kidding themselves that black people like the word as an excuse for them to keep saying it, that's why you got such a reaction from them when you demonstrated that black people don't like the word..

Op you aren't racist...your friends are

Get new friends.

I think some ppl believe you can only be offended by something if it affects you directly.

Personally i am white and i hate that word. It was and is still used to put ppl down and make out that white ppl are somehow superior.

I would not listen to , or buy, any music using that language.

@Ilovenutellaaaaa Sorry, that wasn’t clear, my friends don’t say the word either. When the music is on in the background if (and it is very rare) they are rapping along, they will stay blank on that word.

You're allowed to have an opinion on a word. I dislike many slurs that don't describe me. I definitely wouldn't say anything if I heard black people using the word, as it's their right, but I would still dislike it, as is my right.

I doubt your friends really care much about "black identity", they just didn't want to turn the music off.

I don't think telling black people they should no longer use a word that white folk used to beat them with because white people now find it offensive is on really.

@Hangingover

I don't think telling black people they should no longer use a word that white folk used to beat them with because white people now find it offensive is on really.

I NEVER said, the word should be banned. That was a man (Who was black) at the BLM Protest I went to. I said I don’t like it on all the time because literally it is every other word in every song that is put on.

Laughable. It’s not down to you to police language. As a white person you can be as morally outraged as you like but it doesn’t really affect you.

I don't like use of the N word either but black people say they've reclaimed it so who am I to argue. I would never use it but I'm white.

I also dislike use of the C word but since being on Mumsnet I have come to realise women have reclaimed it! Well, some women anyway. I wish they hadn't.

I think this type of thing is adding to the differences either certain words are offensive or not, regardless of who says them.

@Finfintytint

Laughable. It’s not down to you to police language. As a white person you can be as morally outraged as you like but it doesn’t really affect you.

God, you just want an argument! I understand what the OP is saying. She finds the word offensive because in the past (before the reclamation as it were) it has been used negatively. By her friends listening to music that repeatedly uses that word the OP was uncomfortable and wanted to turn it off.

I wouldn't listen to that sort of music either. It's offensive to me and so I'd express my view and then leave. I can find better friends.

@Hangingover

I don't think telling black people they should no longer use a word that white folk used to beat them with because white people now find it offensive is on really.

Why not?

That's like saying if I see a black person specially abusing a black child I should keep quiet about it because white people used to specially abuse black people.

Specially - sexually

@Finfintytint

Laughable. It’s not down to you to police language. As a white person you can be as morally outraged as you like but it doesn’t really affect you.

I am a white woman.

I am also the mother of a mixed race child.

Tell me O Wise One, am I allowed to be offended or no?

I like NWA.

I'm getting on a bit.

I won't go into how groundbreaking they were.

I'm not going to stop listening to them. It's been decades.

How do you feel about rank misogyny across various music genres.

It isn't up to white people to police black speech. You don't have to listen to the music if you don't like it. Personally listening to NWA and Public Enemy taught me a lot as a white person.

Yeah I broadly agree with your friends. I'm also sure they're familiar with the history of the word but recognize that it has been reclaimed to a large extent.

Didn't you get the memo op? Most things a white person says or does these days is offensive. 😂

OP

have a listen and a watch

This makes you uncomfortable?

Not all black people use that word or listen to rap for that matter. It’s quite offensive that your friends say rubbish like that. I’m BAME and none of my black relatives ever say it.

I'm serious.

Have a watch and tell us where the problem is for you.

NWA.

It’s quite offensive that your friends say rubbish like that
I agree that some of the particular comments attributed to the OP's friends ("most black people love using the word") are rubbish, but I don't get the sense the OP is accurately transcribing their argument.