To be white and find this offensive

[TotallyObsessed4]

Every time I see my (all White) friends they always play rap music where every other word is the N word. I really dislike that word being used regardless of context. I understand The whole claiming it back but does every other word really need to be that one.

After the millionth song and billionth use of the word, I asked if we could listen to something that wasn’t rap. When they asked why, I explained that I find the word very offensive In which they replied you can’t find it offensive as you’re white and how most black people love using that word as it’s their identity And How I’m censoring black voices which makes me slightly racist. Am I missing something here? Shouldn’t they actually research the meaning of that word. Funnily enough at the BLM protest I went to, One of the men who did the speech, who was actually black, said how they wish there was a complete ban on that word even in the black community. And then I got told off for quoting a line of that speech that used that word because I’m white.

So let me know AIBU:
YABU- yes your white, therefore you cannot be offended by racist slurs, and no you can’t use the word even if you are you quoting something (White people should only ever say “the N word” if they need to quote it).

YANBU- that word is offensive and you have every right to be offended by it and there is a difference between quoting something and using the word freely (which I would never do)

So much rap music is misogynistic that it should be banned on those grounds alone.

Horses for courses.

Some black people don't care about black person usage of the word. Others do.

Some white people also care about usage of the word - fine.

How your friends have argued about its usage is ignorant/racist in my view. A sweeping generalisation of the black community's view of usage of the word. And certainly if they are quoting it themselves, not appropriate.

Voted YANBU

I can't vote because your options don't make sense to me. My thoughts below.

If you are black, you can use the word however you want.

If you are white you shouldn't use the word. If you are quoting someone saying it, you should not quote it directly. You should not censor black people using the word in any way that they want to. Totally OK not to like rap music though.

I don't think anyone was racist here. I don't think it's racist to listen to a very popular music genre in which black people use that word themselves. But there's nothing wrong with just not liking swearing in music so you don't have to enjoy it, but I don't think it can really be considered racist when it's being sung by black people.

No, I don't see any evidence the original rappers have improved things for black men as a class. If anything the righteous anger of Public Enemy et al has been replaced by a kind of musical stagnation and resignation to violence, crime, and misogyny that hasn't moved things forward an inch in 30 years. It's not representative of black people as complex, multifaceted human beings in the way that say, Janelle Monae aspires to in her music.

The whole thing is soo boring.

And shallow materialism. I always forget that part when i'm criticising gangster rap.

Just catching up.

My point about NWA wasn't that song in particular. But that the N in NWA is outrageous according to the op.

Wiki

'N.W.A (an abbreviation for Niggaz Wit Attitudes[3][4][note 1]) was an American hip hop group from Compton, California. They were among the earliest and most significant popularizers and controversial figures of the gangsta rap subgenre, and are widely considered one of the greatest and most influential groups in the history of hip hop music.'

Care to rethink, op?

That's like saying if I see a black person specially abusing a black child I should keep quiet about it because white people used to specially abuse black people.

No, it's nothing like that at all

I do not and will not use the n-word. It is crass and could pain deeply people I like (and people I don't like).
But I will not police its uses, either by white people, brown people or black people. I think banning words outright is a slippery slope. It's up to people, individually, to chose to use them. It's also up to people, individually, to form their own opinion of the people saying them, whatever color they are.
Personally I am not a fan of the mentality of owning a word...

So you’re outraged on behalf of the black people who don’t like the word?

If you don't like the music fair enough but to ask them to switch it off because you're offended is a bit cringe. I'd roll my eyes ever so discreetly.

I loved rap music in my teens. all the lyrics off to a tee. If I'm alone in my kitchen I'll get really into the song and say all the words (including that one) but in company I would stay quiet.

Most music is "offensive" if you analyse it. Misogyny is rife anyway and not just in rap.

Quentin Tarantino annoys me with his use of the n word - 38x in Jackie Brown, 65x in Hateful eight and 110x in Django unchained.
Spike Lee said way back when:
'I will say it again and again. I have a definite problem with Quentin Tarantino's excessive use of the n-word. I'm not against the word, and I use it, but not excessively. And some people speak that way. But, Quentin is infatuated with that word. What does he want to be made – an honorary black man?''
Samuel L Jackson doesn't see a problem with it: "If you're going to deal with the language of the time, you deal with the language of the time.''
Each to their own I guess but I can see the view that white appropriation undermines black reclamation of the word. Wiggas and wangstas I used to find just embarrassing. Denis Leary (for all his joke stealing) said it best: You know what? You're not in the Wu-tang Clan... you're not even in A Tribe called Quest asshole, now pull up your pants!''

@TheLastStarfighter

I can't vote because your options don't make sense to me. My thoughts below.

If you are black, you can use the word however you want.

If you are white you shouldn't use the word. If you are quoting someone saying it, you should not quote it directly. You should not censor black people using the word in any way that they want to. Totally OK not to like rap music though.

Exactly this.

I hate the N word, also C##n and W#g which are actually still used in my area as my sister has sadly found out.
They are hate speech & should be banned.
I agree with free speech but not when it becomes hate speech.
There is no excuse for using those words.

In fact I would include P#ki, Chinky & Pikey on the banned list too.
Any race hate words basically.
There's just no place for them in modern society.

Maybe a fine of £100 for using a word like that would be a good start.
Yes maybe it's a bit Orwellian, well whatever.

Regarding Rap music, artists do not have to use the N word. It's just lazy. There are many many other descriptors they could use.
Ok, so some Black rappers say they have 'reclaimed' the word.. well I'm sorry but those Black & Mixed Race people I know who've been abused with the word N do not want to be associated with that word in any way.

my advice is "if you wouldn't play it to your granny, don't submit it for GCSE

My version was 'If it would be inappropriate for me to say ''I like the way you used word painting for the '***' in the second verse'', it's inappropriate for school.' This meant I escaped 47 versions of something extolling misogyny, violence, idealising abusive and coercive relationships and, moreover, they didn't have to be significantly better than anything on general release to avoid being marked down by a 57 year old moderator who thinks, like the person who wrote the syllabus, that Rock Music can be exemplified by Elton John circa 1982.

Still had 22 Fetty Wap tracks one year. I almost cried with relief when Number 23 was an absolutely banging Disco track. That kid absolutely nailed the style.

You’re fair enough to not want to listen to the same music as them and to say why. Your reason is valid, and talking about it with other white people is fine but I would listen rather then talk about with black people (which you have done).

But in explaining this to your friends they would have to be very open to being challenged to not be offended by your opinion of their music which they could easily take as your opinion on them, and most people arn’t.

It seems that they took ‘I find this word and music racially offensive’ to mean ‘I find you racially offensive’ and they felt the immediate need to defend themselves so hit back with ‘No you are racist’.

I’m not sure I really understand. Anyone is allowed to dislike anything and find anything offensive. Nothing happens.

I dislike the word, would never use it, but I do like some music by black artists that use it. I try and find a censored version though as I hate singing along and coming to that word. Similarly I hate the word bitch and won’t use it, and don’t like songs that use it.

Akala has something to say about this