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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this mum should have been more concerned

735 replies

consideratealpaca · 09/09/2020 20:07

Dd9 has an account on a popular online gaming platform. During lockdown she spent a reasonable amount of time playing this game with her class friends from school. One particular girl and DD have butted heads a few times and fell out, which to me seemed like normal kid like behaviour and I wasn't concerned.
Despite me trying to persuade DD not to, she opted to spend some of her birthday money on 'diamonds' to enhance her game experience. I think she spent roughly £100 in dribs and drabs, which I wasn't impressed about, but it is her money when all is said and done.
Last week she came to me and said her account had been 'hacked' and all her diamonds, special objects etc had been stolen. She was then shut out of her own account. It finally transpired that she'd given the girl in her class who she frequently argues with her log in details.
Ordinarily I wouldn't particularly care but this child has stolen the things she bought with her birthday money as well as all the credits she had accrued in game play.
The girls had a brief exchange on WhatsApp and the class friend admitted she had taken my daughters diamonds etc and then changed her password.
I'm pretty sure I can take back control of the account for her, but everything is now lost. Her friend meanwhile, has all of my daughters diamonds and credits.

I messaged the mother of the child in question and whilst the message was read, it was ignored. So I approached her in a polite and friendly way in the playground this afternoon. I was hoping that she'd be shocked at her daughter's behaviour and perhaps we'd get an apology at least. I do not want to be reimbursed for the lost money, and stated that from the start.
The mother's reaction was just to shrug and waffle about not getting involved. Am I right to be mildly pissed off, or ridiculous for making an issue of it to begin with?

OP posts:
frustratedstep · 12/09/2020 17:03

Something similar happened to my daughter, she's 11, she gave out her login details to someone random 🙄. I had words with her and she now understands why you don't share those details. Luckily we got the account recovered even the things lost. There is no way id let her spend that much on a game, wether her money or not, not at that age! My daughter gets £5 a month to spend on it from her dad and I think that's plenty!
I'd be annoyed in your position but you need to have a serious talk with your daughter about telling other people her passwords ect, it's not safe.

ButteryPuffin · 12/09/2020 17:03

I'd be saying 'I had a very sad little girl when your daughter stole all her game diamonds and changed her password. You didn't seem concerned about that. I won't be discussing it further'.
You're not going to let them play together again, are you?

Ditheringdooley · 12/09/2020 17:04

£5 x 9 months = £45. So half what the OP’s daughter spent.

Hardly an outrageous difference? @frustratedstep

Kazakaren · 12/09/2020 17:11

Works about to about £2.70 a week. Hardly a huge amount.

consideratealpaca · 12/09/2020 17:15

I've replied with 'Hard luck XXXX. I've had a little girl in bits for the last week because her 'friend' stole all her diamonds and inventory. Roblox have taken the matter in to their own hands and done the right thing, because you failed to. I don't wish to discuss it further other than to say let's keep our children away from each other in future.'

OP posts:
Corono · 12/09/2020 17:16

I'm shocked that you allow your daughter to spend so much money on "nothing", she's doing it to beat her friends at whatever trash game she's playing. It's not to enhance her experience. She's always going to win, If she pays for it. What an awful lesson to teach a child, the children whose parents are responsible won't stand a chance.

BusyEvenForBee · 12/09/2020 17:17

Why is everyone going on about £100. It was child's money and if virtual diamonds make her happy and help her to get on next level of her (age appropriate) game, so what? Would you rather she spent it on some useless plastic, with which she would stop playing with after a week? Or maybe OP should encourage her to save for future house deposit?

My DS also spent quite considerable amount on online gaming and I have no problem with it! Yes, he always asks as my cc is used and gives me cash in return. And no, I do not always agree.

Let's face it, with all the technology kids are living different life.

OP was absolutely right to be pissed off and approach the mother. Also, yes, valuable lesson learnt about giving away login details.

consideratealpaca ,
In my opinion nothing wrong with you parenting at all. You are right in your post.

whirlwindwallaby · 12/09/2020 17:24

@Corono

I'm shocked that you allow your daughter to spend so much money on "nothing", she's doing it to beat her friends at whatever trash game she's playing. It's not to enhance her experience. She's always going to win, If she pays for it. What an awful lesson to teach a child, the children whose parents are responsible won't stand a chance.
I agree. It's just so different to how DS and his mates play. They will often buy each other a game to play together. The last one came with a copy for a friend, or it is sometimes cheaper to buy more than one copy, depends what the deal is.
Sparklfairy · 12/09/2020 17:29

I hope you find her reaction as satisfying as I would Wink cheeky entitled thieving cow. You're never too young to experience karma!

Crazyoldmaurice · 12/09/2020 17:30

@consideratealpaca

I've replied with 'Hard luck XXXX. I've had a little girl in bits for the last week because her 'friend' stole all her diamonds and inventory. Roblox have taken the matter in to their own hands and done the right thing, because you failed to. I don't wish to discuss it further other than to say let's keep our children away from each other in future.'
I've just read through this entire thread to find out whether roblox simply restored your daughters stuff or actually took it back from the thief kid. Excellent reply, please please let us know what the mum replies with! So glad justice has been served!
Crazyoldmaurice · 12/09/2020 17:33

Also had a good laugh at all the old folk shaking their walking sticks about "gambling"... welcome to gaming in 2020. Some kids buy crappy plastic toys, some buy virtual game stuff, to each their own.

Kazakaren · 12/09/2020 17:42

I'm shocked that you allow your daughter to spend so much money on "nothing", she's doing it to beat her friends at whatever trash game she's playing

Gosh yes, the careless frittering away of... £2.70 per week....

How could you op. Just... How could you (looks for some pearls to clutch)

Ilovechinese · 12/09/2020 17:46

I've just had contact from the mum on Facebook messenger. She said 'why have you got roblocks to take all XXXXXX's stuff! She's crying now and I've got a very sad little girl all weekend thanks a lot!' sic.

Ha! Serves her right!
I would reply to that, it wasn't her stuff in the first place it was your daughters which she stole and roblocks wouldn't have took it if she hadn't stole it. Also say funny she didn't want to get involved when her daughter stole stuff but now she expects you to care her daughter is upset? Maybe she should teach her daughter some respect and not to steal! Cheeky bitch!!!

Glittertwins · 12/09/2020 17:47

@consideratealpaca

I've replied with 'Hard luck XXXX. I've had a little girl in bits for the last week because her 'friend' stole all her diamonds and inventory. Roblox have taken the matter in to their own hands and done the right thing, because you failed to. I don't wish to discuss it further other than to say let's keep our children away from each other in future.'
Good for you!
Glittertwins · 12/09/2020 17:48

And I mean that in the way that it serves the other family right. It wasn't theirs to have in the first place.

Kazakaren · 12/09/2020 17:49

Has she responded to your message op?

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 12/09/2020 17:51

@MsKeats

£100 on a video game -!! What?

No it is not her money "do to with what she wishes". Likewise log in details to someone else.
Take her off it.Resonsibility starts at home.

Who's money is it then?
caughtalightsneeze · 12/09/2020 17:51

@Corono

I'm shocked that you allow your daughter to spend so much money on "nothing", she's doing it to beat her friends at whatever trash game she's playing. It's not to enhance her experience. She's always going to win, If she pays for it. What an awful lesson to teach a child, the children whose parents are responsible won't stand a chance.
It's Roblox, not Mortal Kombat Hmm You don't win and lose. You just play in a make believe world.
SeaEagleFeather · 12/09/2020 18:03

OP, great reply.

Could add "btw, just as a piece of advice monitor your daughter's Whatapp usage better than you do her education on not stealing. She shouldnt be sending photos of blow jobs at age 9". Admittedly only if you wanted to pour oil on the fire!

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 12/09/2020 18:04

The Hunger Games Grin

youwereagoodcakeclyde · 12/09/2020 18:13

Good reply. Also might want to add what SeaEagleFeather wrote but not sure if it would be starting a war!

gamerchick · 12/09/2020 18:17

@MintyMabel

Did you save during this pandemic? I dont think most of the country did given all the Parcel carriers were swamped

Our amazon box tower in the garage is a sight to behold.

At 9 he played Lego and rode his bike, made dens in the bush with his mate.

So pretty much the only one of those options for lockdown kids was playing with Lego. Would that keep him occupied for 4 months?

I hear that. So many empty boxes!
consideratealpaca · 12/09/2020 18:19

It's all kicked off, she's gone apeshit. I stirred the shit a bit about the blowjob photo and her parenting in general. Apparently I'm a 'stupid fucking tramp' and I need to stay away from her at school. Grin

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 12/09/2020 18:22

@consideratealpaca

It's all kicked off, she's gone apeshit. I stirred the shit a bit about the blowjob photo and her parenting in general. Apparently I'm a 'stupid fucking tramp' and I need to stay away from her at school. Grin
Or she'll do what exactly?? Sounds a class act
ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 12/09/2020 18:25

@consideratealpaca

It's all kicked off, she's gone apeshit. I stirred the shit a bit about the blowjob photo and her parenting in general. Apparently I'm a 'stupid fucking tramp' and I need to stay away from her at school. Grin
Leave it now. Do not acknowledge ,reply or engage any further.

Your daughter got her stuff back, her daughter got what she deserved.

Do make sure the friendship is over and that your DD stays away from the other girl. Block her on WhatsApp too.

It's done. Let it be done.