To think this mum should have been more concerned

[consideratealpaca]

Dd9 has an account on a popular online gaming platform. During lockdown she spent a reasonable amount of time playing this game with her class friends from school. One particular girl and DD have butted heads a few times and fell out, which to me seemed like normal kid like behaviour and I wasn't concerned.
Despite me trying to persuade DD not to, she opted to spend some of her birthday money on 'diamonds' to enhance her game experience. I think she spent roughly £100 in dribs and drabs, which I wasn't impressed about, but it is her money when all is said and done.
Last week she came to me and said her account had been 'hacked' and all her diamonds, special objects etc had been stolen. She was then shut out of her own account. It finally transpired that she'd given the girl in her class who she frequently argues with her log in details.
Ordinarily I wouldn't particularly care but this child has stolen the things she bought with her birthday money as well as all the credits she had accrued in game play.
The girls had a brief exchange on WhatsApp and the class friend admitted she had taken my daughters diamonds etc and then changed her password.
I'm pretty sure I can take back control of the account for her, but everything is now lost. Her friend meanwhile, has all of my daughters diamonds and credits.

I messaged the mother of the child in question and whilst the message was read, it was ignored. So I approached her in a polite and friendly way in the playground this afternoon. I was hoping that she'd be shocked at her daughter's behaviour and perhaps we'd get an apology at least. I do not want to be reimbursed for the lost money, and stated that from the start.
The mother's reaction was just to shrug and waffle about not getting involved. Am I right to be mildly pissed off, or ridiculous for making an issue of it to begin with?

Fantastic news about getting the stuff back! Justice has been served! Hope that girl will have her account blocked.
I also can't believe some of the responses here! One of my 7 year old DDs spent her entire birthday money of around £40 on Roblox upgrades, her choice. Her twin sister bought one of those ghastly rainbow eggs full of plastic rubbish, far worse in my view. I also don't supervise them playing that closely, the whole thing bores me half to death and they play on private servers with friends. They have also been "scammed" when people don't exchange what they have promised on trades, although according to their brother it's their own fault!

@ChesterDrawsDoesntExist Oh maybe. I think the OP said something about her daughter having 120k diamonds which sounds like a lot, but maybe some of them have been spent. I have no idea how it works, it just seemed a bit silly to be accumulating the diamonds (if just for the sake of having lots of diamonds!) instead of spending them. I might well have entirely the wrong end of the stick though!

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong by letting her spend her money OP (£11 a month is really not excessive if she enjoys it that much), but I would be very careful about the WhatsApp as the age for that is 16 now. I know she uses your phone, but does that mean that you have the other girl’s phone number? Or does she use a parent’s phone too?

I’m pleased that your daughter is getting her things back

I've been on WhatsApp for years, never seen porn. Am I doing it wrong?

Those who are pearl clutching about a porn message sent by WhatsApp. Are you seriously saying there was never a situation where a kid took a copy of their dad's wank mag in to school?

I remember it happening at primary school. I don't know why people pretend children seeing porn accidentally is a new thing.

I think you're partly at fault, firstly you let your daughter spend £100 on such rubbish.

I guarantee I'd think most of the stuff you spend your spare money on is rubbish.

Wow there are some sanctimonious people on here!!
My children play Roblox & while they don't put real money on, that is due to circumstances more than anything, my older son used to buy club penguin (back in the day) vouchers to play online & further himself so it's not a totally new thing.
Glad they got back to you & are restoring her stuff, just make sure her new p/w is nothing that can be guessed by the thief xx

I worked within the gambling industry for 25years..im quite confident in the first hand knowledge i have

I've worked in construction for 26 years, I'd have no idea how to build a wall.

Being in an industry doesn't mean you know what your are talking about. You could have run a desk at the bookies, still doesn't mean you have the first clue about the link between gaming and gambling. Your responses show you clearly don't.

This thread is hilarious! So little understanding of gaming, the most recent research on it or of the valuable link it provided for DCs during lockdown, especially only children.
I'd let the school know about the 'issues' in case it tips over into RL bullying in the playground. Plus they can then decide if they need to remind everyone about monitoring their DCs on electronics and add in a part about not sharing passwords and remembering diamonds represent 'real' money.
I do think this is a worthwhile lesson for your DD. She won't give anyone her password again.

Well she's learned a valuable lesson and that's all there is to it.

OP, while I assume that you probably feel that this GFer filled thread isn't something you're happy with, I do hope you update us if there is any comeback from the thieving child's account being stripped and possibly blocked by Roblox.

And just in case, remember, if the mum says anything to you, please give her the same reply she gave you. Shrug it off and waffle about not getting involved. If your DD losing her stuff wasn't a big deal to her then why should you care that her daughter has?

And please, start with, "well, just like you said...." to remind her that it's on her.

Brilliant update OP.
I'm delighted for your DD.
It was a hard lesson, you came out on top for her. ❤ remind DD they'll only restore once they understand DC share password so give them one chance

@00100001

Giving kids access to WhatsApp, an ADULT messenger, is akin to letting your 9ypndrive your car.

Oh, it's ok, my 9yp is mature, we only drive to the local shops, where the roads are very quiet, and I'm in the car with them at all times. So it's safe. Obviously the child is sensible enough tr this, and I can't imagine anything could do wrong..

A more appropriate method of allowing your child to "drive" would be having them sit in your lap, whilst they steer a car round an empty carpark, where you are still in control of the pedals.

But this is the equivalent of what she's doing. She's not giving the daughter unsupervised access, she's allowed to have a go on her mums WhatsApp to speak to her friends.

She's modelling (very well by the sounds of things), how to safely use a range of media. Her 9 year old child is already behaving more maturely than half the people on this thread.

@mintymabel
I can assure you i didnt "run a desk in a bookies" 😂

[quote Louise91417]@mintymabel
I can assure you i didnt "run a desk in a bookies" 😂[/quote]
So in your experience of working in the gambling industry, did you study different types of games? Because you don't seem to understand that variable within the relationship.

I was initially outraged by this thread but am now loving it. I’m waiting for updates when the other mum goes mental that the diamonds have been given back... because someone gave the cheeky 9yo the idea of how to appropriate them in the first place. gets popcorn whilst sniggering at all the hoary fuckers on here 🤣 ps op well done, glad your dd has her diamonds!.

Glad it has been resolved via the games co. Was going to say try that first because you won’t get anywhere with the mum.

Aside from general sanctimoniousness about gaming etc and spending £100, a reminder to all that most cyber incidents are chased by (I) people having easily crackable or poor passwords or (ii) being conned into providing access or sharing details- phishing and spear fishing. It isn’t just 9 year olds.

Also never had porn on WhatsApp but had that creepy thing of people trying to airdrop pictures when on public transport. Hence my Bluetooth is permanently off unless I need it on for something.

Was just thinking about boys with their dad’s mags in the playground. You can not control everything around your child and teaching them how to respond appropriately is the better option.

As for the stupid suggestion of a 9 year old driving a car. Illegal.

Sitting on your lap driving a car in a car park? Still illegal, and in breach of your insurance and everything else.

Whatsapp user guidelines on age of users? A private contract drafted for the protection of Whatsapp. If it was as harmful as you attempt to suggest, it would be illegal. Like the stupid analogy of a 9 year old behind the wheel of 2 tonne machinery is illegal. For public protection reasons.

Draw whatever pointless analogies you like, the courts, Parliament etc have all decided that one thing is harmful enough to legislate on and the other isn’t.

I've just managed to reclaim my daughter's account with the help of Roblox support. Everything taken appears to have been reinstated, so I presume this means it's been removed from the thief's account.

I'll have a read through and reply to the genuine posters and their questions after the school run. I wonder if it'll be uneventful as usual. 🤔

Great news.

The school run will be uneventful today. She won't know that the diamonds have been taken from her dds account yet.

Hope it's just as peaceful next week for you.

ChesterDrawsDoesntExist

After helping run another forum for some years, I know for certain that some individuals get off on deliberately misinterpreting and twisting other people's posts. The more they can draw people into the relying, the more successful they are (in their mind)

Some of what I saw was unbelievable.

The fault here is Mumsnet, because they don't do anything to stop it.

I’m pleased the game support was so helpful for you and your daughter.
I don’t think anything will change / can be done in terms of the other mum.

I have been reading this whole thread and I'm also very pleased you have managed to get your daughters account back! I have a daughter around the same age who also loves Roblox. The other girl sounds like a nasty little piece of work and her mother sounds a scumbag! Hope the smile is wiped off her face! Also can't believe people are calling games gambling! What a joke!
For all if you calling it gambling do you never take your children in holidays and let them put money in arcade machines to play? If so is that not gambling? What about 2p pusher machines?
Kids are allowed to play on them though is that not gambling?

Just seen this OP and I'm glad you've had a good result from the game provider.

I think you've had a rough time on this thread and whilst I'm not going to pretend I'm a bit shocked about how much money your DD spent on the game I don't think her buying something that gave her pleasure is in itself wrong.

It's really akin to a digital toy.

The worry though is always that kids get overly fixated and spend silly amounts and it does seem your DD has fallen into that trap - but you acknowledge that and plan to supervise more closely.

Your DD however has learned a valuable lesson in protecting passwords which I'm sure she will now take on board.

As to the other mum, I think she's behaving badly.

It's theft plain and simple and it's appalling behaviour.

I'd be mortified if my child did something like this and be absolutely robust in firstly resolving the issue in making sure my child gave back what they stole and secondly determining an appropriately harsh punishment.

But in reality there's nothing you can do other than to encourage your DD to stay away from this friend and also ensure other friends in their group know not to trust this child in the future under similar circumstances.

God only just found this thread...what harsh responses some have posted

OP I am genuinely pleased to read your update.

My son is 17 now but played Club Penguin back in the day as well as Moshi Monsters. You could buy little upgrades in those as well.

I still cringe at birthday money going on in game purchases but it's the modern world and that's what some youngsters like.

My son is autistic so gaming helps him socialise with others in a way which feels safe for him. It is in fact his way of mixing with others and feeling safe as he doesn't have to deal with facial expressions and other non verbal cues which he struggles to interpret.

Gaming is totally different to gambling ....some of you need to have a word with yourselves.

Well done for getting it sorted OP.

You are a supportive Mum and that's just what your DD needs when a "friend" has let her down.

Well done op. Hopefully your daughter will not give her password to anyone else again.

OP ignore these people that clearly know nothing about kids games these days. I'm assuming it's Minecraft or Roblox? If so, then it's not gambling in the slightest 😂. If your 9 year old DD enjoys playing games then she can spend HER money on it! You are not irresponsible and if it's a treat she can do what she likes with her money. I would be furious that this other girl took advantage of your DD.