To think this mum should have been more concerned

[consideratealpaca]

Dd9 has an account on a popular online gaming platform. During lockdown she spent a reasonable amount of time playing this game with her class friends from school. One particular girl and DD have butted heads a few times and fell out, which to me seemed like normal kid like behaviour and I wasn't concerned.
Despite me trying to persuade DD not to, she opted to spend some of her birthday money on 'diamonds' to enhance her game experience. I think she spent roughly £100 in dribs and drabs, which I wasn't impressed about, but it is her money when all is said and done.
Last week she came to me and said her account had been 'hacked' and all her diamonds, special objects etc had been stolen. She was then shut out of her own account. It finally transpired that she'd given the girl in her class who she frequently argues with her log in details.
Ordinarily I wouldn't particularly care but this child has stolen the things she bought with her birthday money as well as all the credits she had accrued in game play.
The girls had a brief exchange on WhatsApp and the class friend admitted she had taken my daughters diamonds etc and then changed her password.
I'm pretty sure I can take back control of the account for her, but everything is now lost. Her friend meanwhile, has all of my daughters diamonds and credits.

I messaged the mother of the child in question and whilst the message was read, it was ignored. So I approached her in a polite and friendly way in the playground this afternoon. I was hoping that she'd be shocked at her daughter's behaviour and perhaps we'd get an apology at least. I do not want to be reimbursed for the lost money, and stated that from the start.
The mother's reaction was just to shrug and waffle about not getting involved. Am I right to be mildly pissed off, or ridiculous for making an issue of it to begin with?

She does understand the value of money, and how hard it is to earn because she has this drummed in to her daily by her dad and I.
If you believe she understands the value of money then you are deluded, considering what she has spent £100 on. You and her dad might drone on but your DD certainly isn't taking your message on board. Even you do not value it, considering you are not expecting the other girl or her parents to give back the money taken without your DD's permission.

At least your DD will, hopefully, have learnt a valuable lesson early on in that you never give out log-ins and passwords to anybody.

Roblox have got back to us. Everything will be restored, thank you all.

Glad to hear this. Hope the mum doesn't kick off when her dd realises her ill gotten gains have gone.

I’m not going to get all sanctimonious about children having access to WhatsApp and spending money on Roblox and so on.

The bit that gets me is that she had electronic access to £100 worth of stuff - without understanding that giving her login details to someone else was giving them access too.

That’s the parenting issue. Of course the other child behaved badly, but we owe it to our children to ensure they know enough to protect themselves from others taking advantage. A tough lesson for both of you.

I don't understand the people shouting about a child - shock horror - using WhatsApp. It's isn't the child's account - it belongs to the mum. Many people don't have landlines these days and instead of phone calls they're use WhatsApp. WhatsApp rules are under 16s (?) can't have an account but if they also wouldn't be able to have a contract with BT for a landline either. I would be very curious if anyone on here never used their parents landline phone as a kid. I was a bit older than the OPs daughter but back in the 80s I answered the phone at home one day and had a creepy random perv on the other end. Were my parents terrible parents because they let me use their landline? No. Landlines were how everyone contacted each other. These days it's things like WhatsApp.

Really pleased your DD's account has been restored OP. Would love to be a fly on the wall when the thief discovers her account has been suspended. I'm glad she won't get away with it.

@Chantelli

At the end of the day when all is said and done its her money?? Are you for real??

Your job is to make sure you dd understands the value of money and not wastes it on gambling, which is what roblox etc are for.

100 pounds!!

WhatsApp and log in break ins?? Take back some control for gods sake. Your daughter isn't a lodger, she's 9!!

If you RTFT, she does have a good grasp on the value of money. She works for her pocket money. She saves mostly everything she gets.

The main issue here is that we're all so polarised on gaming. Some of us accept that this is the world we live in now and embrace it, everything is centred around tech and kids love computer games. It's no different to spending money on Lego add ons, just better for the environment.

And then some of us are fossils and start pearl clutching at the very thought of a child 'wasting' money on a computer game.

@consideratealpaca I'm so glad to hear Roblox is getting the account restored. Whilst I'm not a fan of the kids stuff like Minecraft and Fortnight (though the kiddies love them) Roblox is actually slightly entertaining to watch. Quite an inventive and funny game with hundreds of completely different games within that one game. Pretty much what anyone can think of.

I wouldn't play it myself but it brings a smile to my face watching the seriously weird stuff that goes on the the Roblox world. It's about as useful as LOL dolls of course which are just hugely overpriced plastic tat but I bet your post would have gone down better if your kid had a collection of them nicked.

I also think several folks on here should add up all the random bits and bobs you have bought your child or they have bought with pocket/birthday money over the last 9 months. You know the packet of football cards here, the comic there. Some pens from Poundland, Lego Minifigs, LoL Dolls, Hotwheel cars, stickers. All those little things... I bet most of you have spent more than £100 over those 9 months.
Glad you have got it sorted OP.

OP I would love to know what happens when the other girl loses her ill gotten gains and whether her mother will take a more robust attitude to that!

Oh really glad to hear that alpaca

Giving kids access to WhatsApp, an ADULT messenger, is akin to letting your 9ypndrive your car.

I think this poster is quietly taking the piss :) seeing how far she can go before we all twig! :D

If some of these posts are real, you dread to think what will happen to the poor kids if they're ever plunged into a less middle-class environment. They'd be steamrollered :/

My daughter knows a decent amount about sex for someone her age, she knows porn exists now, she reacted appropriately.

Shudder.

@Chantelli
Jesus Christ woman, grow up.

@consideratealpaca

Jesus Christ woman, grow up. confused

Unfortunately this seems to be the message you've given your 9 year old daughter.

@Chantelli I haven't wanged on about what a great mum I am at all, I've just defended myself against the dinosaurs.

@Chantelli Oh do shut up, you fucking fossil. I've never suggested that it's okay for 9yos to view porn.

I don't think it should be a class issue to realise there is pretty much zero to be gained from a child playing roblox,

Is imagination and creativity a bad thing now?

Most of us have been in a situation with online games. Our son spend his birthday money £150 on Fortnight not happy but so be it.
What I'll say is it's a cheap life lesson for your dd. It's painful and it's teaching her the nasty side of people. You have to let her learn that you don't trust people with your stuff ever.
Our son tell us all the thieving that goes on on minecraft. Buyers beware.
If the other Mum can't see what's wrong she has no morals either.

Ignore the hoary fuckers OP
Making shit up to make their posting interesting.

I once had to have a post removed because I had asked how to address an issue regarding teen DD's friends being inappropriate and making DH uncomfortable. It was all fine, good advice on how to get them to tone it down until a goady fucker arrived and started making up "facts" loosely based on what I'd posted.
From good, helpful advice by reasonable people, I was suddenly being told that I had to LTB, that he was a pedophile, "secretly liked it" and that he should leave the house whenever DD's friends came around and if he didn't it was because he was a nonce and I was a child abuser for not kicking him out.

Honestly, once a post here starts being ripped apart by people unwilling to read what's actually written and making up their own narrative then there's no stopping it bar having it taken down yourself.

Hoary? GOADY. Sodding Autocorrect.

I’m off to go and cancel my Cineworld unlimited. It costs me £17.40 a month (so more than your daughter has spent on Roblox) and I don’t have anything physical to show for it so it’s obviously a waste of money.

One thing that does confuse me a bit though, is why there’s still £100 worth of diamonds on her account? If you can use the diamonds to buy things in the game then why is she using more (actual) money to buy more diamonds instead of spending the diamonds that she’s already got?

I apologise if I’m entirely missing the point. I have no idea how Roblox works

@MsQueenInTheNorth I thought the same but assumed it was more likely the value of the things purchased with the diamonds as well as a good chunk of diamond that have been bought and saved up to a decent amount for when she wants to spend them on something big?

OP I think you handled it really well, your DD should have had an apology from the 'friend' and the mother should definitely have handled it a lot better. Will the friend 'lose' the credits, it would be interesting to see how the mother reacts then?

Also agree with all of your other posts, unfortunately I see the other side of this parenting that is often considered 'right's on here. My DD is 16, and some of the shit she shows and tells me about all from kids who haven't had open discussions about porn with their parents from a young age is shocking. I've lost count the number of times I contacted safeguarding over the years all about these kids from nice, middle class homes. Or how about last year when I called the police because one of the kids was involved in the deets scam, the kid actually shouted at the parents in the school playground 'you always steal my birthday money' of course the parents were saving it for them (probably a house going by this thread). These are extremes but just goes to show you that bringing up children is a balance (like your doing, spend some and save some). You're not watching porn with your child you are telling her about what is going on in the real world. Also I think there is no difference between buying games/apps and plastic crap, well except it is better for the environment.

How did she access the £100 from her birthday money? You must have facilitated it in some way. Birthday money or not she should be shown that there are better things to do with well intentioned gifts. Also gaming where money is concerned should be prohibited while she is underage. The other mother is as unaware as you seem to be and obviously doesn’t understand what early learned habits can do long term.