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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this mum should have been more concerned

735 replies

consideratealpaca · 09/09/2020 20:07

Dd9 has an account on a popular online gaming platform. During lockdown she spent a reasonable amount of time playing this game with her class friends from school. One particular girl and DD have butted heads a few times and fell out, which to me seemed like normal kid like behaviour and I wasn't concerned.
Despite me trying to persuade DD not to, she opted to spend some of her birthday money on 'diamonds' to enhance her game experience. I think she spent roughly £100 in dribs and drabs, which I wasn't impressed about, but it is her money when all is said and done.
Last week she came to me and said her account had been 'hacked' and all her diamonds, special objects etc had been stolen. She was then shut out of her own account. It finally transpired that she'd given the girl in her class who she frequently argues with her log in details.
Ordinarily I wouldn't particularly care but this child has stolen the things she bought with her birthday money as well as all the credits she had accrued in game play.
The girls had a brief exchange on WhatsApp and the class friend admitted she had taken my daughters diamonds etc and then changed her password.
I'm pretty sure I can take back control of the account for her, but everything is now lost. Her friend meanwhile, has all of my daughters diamonds and credits.

I messaged the mother of the child in question and whilst the message was read, it was ignored. So I approached her in a polite and friendly way in the playground this afternoon. I was hoping that she'd be shocked at her daughter's behaviour and perhaps we'd get an apology at least. I do not want to be reimbursed for the lost money, and stated that from the start.
The mother's reaction was just to shrug and waffle about not getting involved. Am I right to be mildly pissed off, or ridiculous for making an issue of it to begin with?

OP posts:
nanbread · 10/09/2020 22:07

@Ditheringdooley I hoped it was obvious I was joking Grin

MintyMabel · 10/09/2020 22:08

They are aimed at young kids who don't yet have the self-control nor really understand the value of money.

Which is why parents have control. And like others, the OP takes the view that online games are no different to spending money on physical toys.

Walk in to any newsagent and see rows and rows of overpriced magazines targeted at kids, on low shelves within their grasp, with all sorts of plastic toot taped to the front that any young kid really, really wants. Parents choose whether to buy them or not, no different to online games.

Entire toy shops are aimed at kids. Merchandising for kids movies, aimed at kids. It is absolutely the same with online games. Why the sniffy attitude simply because it’s played on an iPad?

MintyMabel · 10/09/2020 22:11

Games that involve buying tokens etc are refered to as "loot box games"

No, games that involve buying boxes of randomised rewards for money are loot box games.

Games where you can spend 2 diamonds to buy a fancy living room chair, are not loot box games.

Louise91417 · 10/09/2020 22:11

@mintymabel
Im yet to meet anyone with an addiction to buying magazinesConfused

00100001 · 10/09/2020 22:13

Out of interest, what game is this that's online and suitable for 9yo?

SoManyActivities · 10/09/2020 22:14

Your 9 year old DD saw a picture of a blow job on WhatsApp and you still let her use it? And after that you still allowed your DD to have online contact with the child who had sent the picture?! Because you were 'happy' with your daughters response to seeing porn?

What the actual fuuuuuuuck?!

MintyMabel · 10/09/2020 22:15

I’m yet to meet anyone with an addiction to buying magazines

Exactly. (Although at 3 my DD May have qualified...)

The type of game described by OP is no different to those magazines.

MintyMabel · 10/09/2020 22:16

Out of interest, what game is this that's online and suitable for 9yo?

I’m going to guess it’s is Roblox.

JollyHolly30 · 10/09/2020 22:20

Are you going to contact Roblox customer services OP? It's very possible that you could have the diamonds restored and this would then be a narrow escape/lesson learned scenario, but I don't think I've seen you reply to those suggestions?

Ablackrussian · 10/09/2020 22:28

I'm not going to kick a dog when it's down. Putting aside your parent responsibility and your daughters naivety; I would have thought that the other parent would have, at least, properly listened to your concerns and spoken to her child and got her to apologise.

I would not be happy and, in your shoes, they would not have heard the end of it. Or, rather, the mother would not have heard the end of it.

Your poor daughter. Plenty of lessons to be learnt.

Everysinglebloodytime · 10/09/2020 22:36

Those citing links between gambling and gaming are proof that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. The research that I have found seems to suggest that there are similarities between some online games and gambling.

It doesn't discuss any other type of gaming, and it certainly doesn't discuss the benefits of gaming for a very wide range of people.

I used to hate gaming with a passion but actually after having my arse very politely handed to me on a plate on here, I managed to retrieve that head out of my arse and actually find out a bit more about it.

KarmaStar · 10/09/2020 22:39

The other mum was wrong in her attitude and should have been supervising her dc to ensure this did not happen.she should have made her dc apologise and return diamonds.
Equally op,you should have made your dd aware of the dangers of handing out login details way before now.Yes,a hard lesson learnt,but she's too young at nine to be put in the position of learning such a hard way.And to waste a hundred pounds,she clearly has no guidance at home about the value of money hence squandering what would feed a family for a week.it is her money,but you are her parent.teach her what is the value of money now.t
Both mum's are in the wrong here.

Louise91417 · 10/09/2020 22:45

@everysinglebloodytime
I worked within the gambling industry for 25years..im quite confident in the first hand knowledge i haveHmm

theworldaccordingtome · 10/09/2020 22:48

For God's sake. Parent adequately!
If she is old enough to play, you should be teaching her adequate IT security. No wonder she got taken advantage of.

SoManyActivities · 10/09/2020 23:00

Are you removing your DD from this WhatsApp group now OP? Given that there is a child in the group whose parents obviously have zero idea about safeguarding?

LUZON · 10/09/2020 23:03

For God's sake. Parent adequately!

😂😂😂. Oh dear, That told you OP.

I can’t tell if posters who post comments like this are serious or not. Imagine if they talked like that in real life. 🤣😂

Barrowmanfan22 · 10/09/2020 23:16

Sorry OP I'm probably missing the point...400 pound birthday money ??!

Rebuildingconfidence · 10/09/2020 23:16

Sorry, can't read 15 pages. If it is Roblox I recommend contacting them. They have really excellent customer support and carry out investigations when things like this happen. The other girl could find herself banned.

We just got back from a month away and my son's account had been hacked and his robux spent. I contacted Roblox and secured the account and after investigating, they reinstated his robux. I was impressed.

OhamIreally · 10/09/2020 23:40

Have only read half the thread but you're getting an absolute pasting OP. Loads of kids your daughter's age play Roblox - I've watched DD play it and can see it's fun and appropriate for 9 year olds. I'm sure you've warned your daughter not to accept friend requests.
During lockdown buying virtual toys is no worse (and a lot more environmentally friendly)than plastic tat.
I do think the world is changing (has changed) and our children need to be able to navigate the virtual world.
A lot of dinosaurs on here who don't know what they are talking about.

Original poster
consideratealpaca · 11/09/2020 00:23

I really fucking give up. Thank you enormously to the normal people who walk with me in the 21st century, for all your valuable help and advice.

The rest of you can seriously go and fuck yourselves. I've been called every name under the sun by fucking twats who can't even be arsed to read the thread but think it's okay to pass judgement without reserve, I've had my parenting called in to question at every turn and now it's been insinuated that I'm behind the sharing of a pornographic image. Envy Read the fucking bastard thread!!! I can only assume at this point that you're wilfully disregarding everything I say, you're a troll, or you're thick as pig shit.

OP posts:
Original poster
consideratealpaca · 11/09/2020 00:28

Also...has anyone else noticed that I'm the evenings the sanctimonious crowd make an appearance? Why, I wonder. 🤔 Wine? Crack?

OP posts:
AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 11/09/2020 00:29

A responsible parent AND a charmer. I thought no one was perfect!

Original poster
consideratealpaca · 11/09/2020 01:11

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

A responsible parent AND a charmer. I thought no one was perfect!
🥰
OP posts:
X0xo · 11/09/2020 02:01

@consideratealpaca

I really fucking give up. Thank you enormously to the normal people who walk with me in the 21st century, for all your valuable help and advice.

The rest of you can seriously go and fuck yourselves. I've been called every name under the sun by fucking twats who can't even be arsed to read the thread but think it's okay to pass judgement without reserve, I've had my parenting called in to question at every turn and now it's been insinuated that I'm behind the sharing of a pornographic image. Envy Read the fucking bastard thread!!! I can only assume at this point that you're wilfully disregarding everything I say, you're a troll, or you're thick as pig shit.

OP just ignore the nasty and judgemental posts. Many peoples' prime motivation for posting in AIBU is to try and make a poster feel bad. I always wonder what the lives of some of these are like if this is how they get their kicks.
ulanbatorismynextstop · 11/09/2020 03:36

I think you're partly at fault, firstly you let your daughter spend £100 on such rubbish. Secondly you haven't taught her properly to not give out her log in details.it wasn't nice what that girl did but I understand the other mum not getting involved. It's a kids spat. Use it as a valuable lesson.