AIBU to give my child an Irish name in the UK?

[FolkSongSweet]

Posting here for traffic. I’ve seen a few heated debates on this on baby name threads recently. I’m considering giving my child an Irish name where the pronunciation isn’t obvious from the spelling. We live in London. Will this be a huge burden to the child when they grow up/a mild annoyance, or not an issue?

(NB this issue could obviously theoretically apply to lots of names, not just Irish ones, but Irish ones are what I’m considering)

YABU - don’t give your child a tricky name
YANBU - it’s not a big deal, people will learn

@lljkk I think I would be a bit sad, because the anglicised spelling makes it a completely different name which is not recognisably Irish (eg Ailbhe to Alva).

It’s important to me, given that my child will grow up in England, that her name reflects her heritage. My son already has an Irish name which I adore and which is (luckily) well known in England so there aren’t really any spelling or pronunciation issues (similar to Sean or Connor).

However, if she was finding it annoying then obviously I’d want her to be happy! It’s why I’ve made this thread in the first place.

lljkk you realise that people were shot for speaking Irish and refusing to change them to English, right?

I'm Irish (living in Ireland) and I can't spell lots of Irish names.

Does it matter that much? Presumably family and close friends make the effort to learn the spelling. If others don't then what's the big deal.

When I lived in London I worked with people who had Maori names, Indian names, Eastern European names, Japanese names.

Everybody coped.

If you’re prepared to have to tell people endlessly how to pronounce it, and for your dc to do the same, then if you love it, why not?

I can’t help thinking of the time we were going on holiday with Irish friends (living in Ireland) and shortly before departure they wanted to add a friend of their dd. Fine, so since I’d made the booking I had to add her. What’s her name?
Aine.
Er, how do you pronounce that?
Onya. (Roughly)
Of course I’d always know now, but I’d guess that the vast maj. of people in the U.K. would always have to ask.

Personally I wouldn’t and didn’t.

At work I encounter hundreds of people on phone/email and never meet them. The names I remember most easily are the familiar ones.

If someone says “speak to x or y” I’ll usually scribble down the easiest one to hear/remember/spell first and look them up (even if I have to try a few known variations of spelling when I look them up) rather than interrupting the flow of conversation to ask the speaker to repeat the other name, and then to separate out which bit of what they said is the first name, and which bit is the surname, and then ask them to spell it, which they might need to look it up themselves to do.

Maybe not everyone has this but I find it hard to even ‘hear‘ a name sometimes, I remember having to ask someone’s name 3 times and then give up as although I could hear her perfectly and I wanted to be able to repeat the name back to them, I just couldn’t decode the sounds in my mind (I’ve tried to remember that person’s name just now for example, it was a Scottish name, but I can’t remember it even I knew her for 4 years).

Also thinking about it, even for my kids at nursery, when I try to talk to them about their friends I will remember his friend ‘Thomas’ and say ‘did you play with Thomas today?’ but there’s one little boy he is very friendly with and his name just constantly escapes me even though I try really hard to imprint it in my mind every time I hear it (the carers aren’t supposed to mention other kids names, so I just hear it in passing from time to time). My child can’t pronounce his name properly either and calls him something vague which I can’t copy, so we couldn’t really talk about him properly over lockdown which was frustrating. Same with the carers’ names actually. If I’m not in a position to write the name down straight away after introduction, I find it hard to recall later if it’s a name I’ve not heard before, especially with the kids jumping over me when I’m trying to imprint it.

I think all these little things add up as a disadvantage for people with tricky names.

Maybe kids growing up in London will be different as their ears will grow up familiar with loads of different types of names.

As part of my job I am required to call patients in from a waiting area & I can honestly tell you if I have no idea how a name is pronounced I will ask a few of my colleagues, if none of us are any the wiser I just do the best I can then ask the family when they come in. Nobody has ever been offended if I haven't said it properly and I make a conscious effort to say it properly the next time. (I have also been known to google pronunciation if I'm really unsure) but honestly I have this issue with all names - not just irish. Some people call their kids normal names but with totally different spellings which can be difficult but we get there in the end!

@FolkSongSweet

I definitely want to give my child my favourite name, but as pps have pointed out, I’m not the one who will have to live with it/constantly correct people, so I’m wondering if I’m being a bit selfish.

DH loves the name and doesn’t see an issue, but there was a thread on Irish baby names recently where a couple of posters were saying it was cruel and would make the child cringe on a daily basis and/or have to change their name, which has given me pause for thought!

There's some absolutely weapons on here,Only theory is that MN gives the wagons a comfortable place to vocalise their thought. Outside of MN that sort are far more diluted in the population. So I wouldn't be imnd that.

London is quite a diverse place and anyone who lives outside a small bubble is use to different names. Mind you, if you go with something like Aedamnair or Fearadhach they are probably going to have to spell it out frequently!!

If you're really that worried, go for one of the commoner Celtic names that are frequently Anglicised like Caoimhe, Siobhan, Niamh, etc. Kids end up with diminutives or nicknames when they get to school. It'll only be a few years before you're getting fed up that your child is apparently happy to be called Keev, Vonny, or Ne-Ne. And it could be a lot worse.

My mother was Irish and named me Aoifa after my grandmother, I got called Oaf at school. I dropped it as soon as I could. My mother was an abusive bully so it was cathartic to change it by Deed Poll.

I’d use the name you like and not worry about it. I have to spell out my very simple names with normal spellings because of the they can still be spelt very slightly differently!
I also love Irish names!

We live in London and have given our baby daughter and Irish name which always stirs up questions about its origin and pronunciation. We also have a very plain surname too. But there are so many cultures in London, and so many names that I can't say or pronounce, so I didn't even think twice by giving her a really Irish name. Plus, it always sparks conversation!

I have an Irish name with the Irish spelling, I can tell the disappointment when people hear my accent. It never happened when I lived in Liverpool as everyone I knew had Irish relatives but now in the south east there is an expectation of an accent to match the name.

Give your child the name you want to. People will learn to pronounce it correctly.
I went to school with a Siobhan we pronounced it correctly and I still remember how to spell it correctly.

A colleague at work is from a European country and for years we all pronounced her name a specific way, till I heard another woman call her something completely different, when I asked it turned out we were pronouncing her name incorrectly and she was too polite to correct us, I've pronounced her name the correct way since.

I think the more people with cultural names the better, it shouldn't be uncomfortable or upsetting to name your baby a name that has meaning for you.

The only consideration I gave when naming my DC was that they didn't have a terrible meaning in English, and everyone is amazingly able to pronounce their names, I've told my DC to correct people who mispronounce their names. My DC are happy with their names as far as I am aware.

I've had people mis-gender me in emails, a simple google would show the writer the sex of people with my given name. But I don't lose sleep over it.

I'm in Ireland and have basically the most popular name in Ireland the year I was born and it's remained in the top 10 since. I have massive issues on the phone with people misunderstanding my name because of my accent. So the way I see it you can't actually win so you might as well pick the name you love.

YANBU.

I have a Welsh name in England. I get some dodgy pronunciation and spellings as you would expect. It doesn't bother me much. I was in my late 20s before I worked in a team where more people pronounce it correctly than pronounce it wrong.

I do get some rude people say 'oh I couldn't possibly manage that' can I call you Sophie/Emily/Sarah instead? Or who ask to call me the English version instead (think Jane instead of Sian). I no longer tell people that my name is Welsh for the name it's Welsh for.

I mostly get nice comments on my name and compliments though!

I think in London your child is likely to be in a class with lots of children who have names from all around the world. I went to school with a Caoimhe and a Saoirse and everyone quickly learned them. Other people at school had Arabic/French/German/Ghanian etc. names and people managed - and I grew up in the middle of nowhere.

For what it's worth, I would like to give my child a Welsh name if DH agrees, so my experiences clearly haven't been bad enough to put me off!

I think it's important that celtic names don't die out, especially given the history of suppression of such names and the languages they come from.

I’m a Londoner with an Irish name. I do have to spell it out frequently and tell people how to pronounce it but it’s never an issue and I often get compliments on it.

If you love the name then use it!

@Boulshired

I have an Irish name with the Irish spelling, I can tell the disappointment when people hear my accent. It never happened when I lived in Liverpool as everyone I knew had Irish relatives but now in the south east there is an expectation of an accent to match the name.

So do you think only people with Irish accents should have Irish names?

Oh and like @CaffiSaliMali I’d give DCs Irish names and my siblings who also have Irish names have already given their own kids Irish names so it’s put none of us off!

As long as you’re prepared to constantly have to correct pronunciation and spelling, and for your daughter to have to as well, and you won’t get angry about repeated mistakes then fine, do what you want.

But don’t expect her to go through life with an easy time of it, and you can’t be annoyed with those who get it wrong.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

If you’re prepared to have to tell people endlessly how to pronounce it, and for your dc to do the same, then if you love it, why not?

I can’t help thinking of the time we were going on holiday with Irish friends (living in Ireland) and shortly before departure they wanted to add a friend of their dd. Fine, so since I’d made the booking I had to add her. What’s her name?
Aine.
Er, how do you pronounce that?
Onya. (Roughly)
Of course I’d always know now, but I’d guess that the vast maj. of people in the U.K. would always have to ask.

Aine is actually pronounced more like Aww-nya

You’re getting off very lightly if Aine’s the toughest Irish name you’ve come across 😂

@FolkSongSweet

I definitely want to give my child my favourite name, but as pps have pointed out, I’m not the one who will have to live with it/constantly correct people, so I’m wondering if I’m being a bit selfish.

DH loves the name and doesn’t see an issue, but there was a thread on Irish baby names recently where a couple of posters were saying it was cruel and would make the child cringe on a daily basis and/or have to change their name, which has given me pause for thought!

Go with it. There is a serious anti-Irish vibe amongst some posters on here so generally best to ignore.

I live in Ireland now but when living in England, other than a few idiots (most memorably the co-worker who informed me she preferred the way she pronounced my name so would continue to use that), I never had an issue. Yes, I had to tell people how to pronounce it. Yes, spelling had to be corrected occasionally but it really wasn't a big deal. If anything, spelling was less of an issue as it was usually email or similar so they would see the spelling. I don't mind if people don't put the fada in my name although am often pleasantly surprised by the number of non-Irish people who do.

I'm Irish live in Ireland , go for it there's loads of polish slovak and latvian people who live here with beautiful names and it breaks my heart that they anglicised them to suit us , so I always try to find out what their name is so I can call them that name , it's important to you to retain your heritage and if you and your partner both like the name I would use it

@heartsonacake

As long as you’re prepared to constantly have to correct pronunciation and spelling, and for your daughter to have to as well, and you won’t get angry about repeated mistakes then fine, do what you want.

But don’t expect her to go through life with an easy time of it, and you can’t be annoyed with those who get it wrong.

I guess that’s the kind of sentiment I’m talking about.

Will her life really not be “easy” because she has to correct the way people say or spell her name? I’m finding it hard to put it in perspective!

My ds has an Irish name. It is easy to pronounce for English speakers. Think Patrick/Rory/Fergus/Connor type thing.

DH insisted it had to be easy to spell in English, as he is English.

I know babies and children called Blathnaid, Roisín, Clodagh, Oisín, Tadgh and a few Aoifes. We are near London and none of these kids have a problem, (ok Blathnaid's mum did say people were always saying Blath to rhyme with bath, naid to rhyme with maid, but it is an unusual one even in Ireland tbf).

Also, Caoimhe, Ciarán, Saoirse and Sorcha all get pronounced differently, depending on which part of Ireland you are in, so I don't see too much difference in correcting people in London or correcting people in Donegal. You just have to be ready to correct people.