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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cake smash...

408 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 08/09/2020 19:24

I know I am. But if people can convince me I'm not I'll be much happier 😁😁

When DS was 1 I was opposed to cake smash photoshoots because it was a waste of cake. And he was tube fed all wouldn't have touched it and was actually in the middle of a 4 month awful hospitalisation for his birthday and when he came out he ate even less than when he went in and he had/has sensory issues that just would have made it not viable.

Now I have twins who would devour a cake shop between them, who don't seem to have any issues touching messy stuff or eating ANYTHING and I really want one.

But I know they're terrible.

Would I be unreasonable to bury my principles for some cute photos of fat babies covering in icing and cream?

OP posts:
Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 08/09/2020 22:34

@PyongyangKipperbang

I wouldnt but because I have a SN son (he is an adult now, doing very well and living independently) who couldnt do a lot of things. I always said that I would never do anything for his siblings that I couldnt do for him, he was the eldest.

And I didnt.

As he got older and took pleasure from helping them do things he couldnt do, and I would do other stuff just for him, it was better but at that age? No. It would hurt my heart to do something for younger ones that an issue absolutely out of his control, he couldnt do.

I do also have an issue with food waste, but thats for each person to decide for themselves.

I do get that xx
OP posts:
Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 08/09/2020 22:36

@Casschops

I added cake smashes to my list of NO along with baby showers, gender reveal parties and expensive hen dos.
I only had one of those. I made my Hens sleep in a hostel 😂😂
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CharismaticVic · 08/09/2020 22:58

@Longdistance

Good grief! Is this a ‘thing’ now? Well, you’ll be pleased to know that there are kids in my area that won’t be having a hot dinner tonight. I hope you spend your money on some food for your local food bank instead of wasting it on this frivolous load of bollocks Angry
This is just reaching now. Most of the time the cake isn't wasted but next time I think of the kids who have to visit foodbanks and didnt have a hot meal that night I'll angrily think of all of those people who had cake smashes with their children and not at the fucking bent government. Get a grip!
Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 08/09/2020 23:04

Also two fat babies, one cake, I don't think it'll get wasted...

OP posts:
dooratheexplorer · 09/09/2020 08:01

As my previous post was deleted....

It's very naff. I would think less of you. If you're okay with being seen as less classy then crack on.

ShebaShimmyShake · 09/09/2020 08:13

I make play dough every couple of months, salt dough and pasta necklaces and pictures. I'll do papier mache when my daughter is older. I can't see how a one off cake smash is any more wasteful than that. Of course, I may in fact be morally reprehensible. Making play dough isn't even the worst thing I've ever done.

It is of course shameful that we need food banks, but it's not the fault of cake smashes.

I truly can't understand the depth of vitriol we get on here about them. I completely understand they're not to everyone's taste, not really a fan of them myself, but they're just messy play photoshoots. The level of viciousness that surrounds them is out of all proportion and makes me wonder what people are really angry about.

Hyperfish101 · 09/09/2020 08:16

What is this fresh hell? Cake smash. ‘Gender’ reveal, baby showers..... Got to be honest I hate the idea of all of it.

movingonup20 · 09/09/2020 08:23

Pointless, just have a birthday cake and give them a slice each in their high chairs, take photos ... i wouldn't want all those ingredients and colours in shop cake given to a 1 year old, make a cake yourself.

ShebaShimmyShake · 09/09/2020 08:24

It's not new. There was a cake smash thread on here about two or three years ago and I doubt that was the only other one there's been. People were comparing it to the Hunger Games and accusing each other of using their children to act out secret scatological fetishes. I'm not making this up.

diplodocusinermine · 09/09/2020 08:36

Surely if they're going to make a mess with cake they'll do it with a slice or a cupcake just as well - it doesn't have to be the whole cake.......

Would you be doing it if you weren't going to put the photos on social media?

It's really just another way of getting us to spend money on pointless tat. Nobody used to have baby showers or sex gender reveal parties. Now we buy all this useless stuff becasue of silly trends.

Years ago, you'd have bought a birthday cake for your DC - now you have to buy two so they can smash one up to the point of inedibilty. Hmm

squeekums · 09/09/2020 08:47

We did one for dd
Was great fun
No regrets

Hell, id do one for me, just plant my face in it

LolaSmiles · 09/09/2020 08:50

It's really just another way of getting us to spend money on pointless tat. Nobody used to have baby showers or sex gender reveal parties. Now we buy all this useless stuff becasue of silly trends
You're right.

My DS gets covered in food most mealtimes.

Why would I want to spend money on a cake for him to smash when I see him covered in food every day?
Is it somehow cuter if money has been spent on a special cake to smash (that happens to be one selected to photograph nicely)?
What does having a 'cake smash' cake offer that a child enjoying a slice of perfectly nice birthday cake? other than it giving the adults an excuse to try and stage a moment for photos.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 09/09/2020 08:51

Don't limit it to a cake, why not the smash up the kitchen and lounge too?
Perhaps getting them used to wrecking things early on is a great idea and could prove jolly useful in future years for student demos etc. Grin

ZoeTurtle · 09/09/2020 09:13

Cake smashes are rank and the pictures aren't cute.

Cocomarine · 09/09/2020 09:20

I can’t get over excited about the conspicuous waste side of things.

But I think the photos are just fucking awful.

If I child gets messy having a piece of cake at their party and you take a candid photo - that’s cute, a snapshot that captures the age and is funny.

Professionally lit with specially bought cake and encouragement for it to happen? Totally fake. I just wouldn’t enjoy looking at the photo, how is that a reminder of something real and fun?

PerditaNitt · 09/09/2020 09:41

I think I’ve read mumsnet conversations about Brexit and TWAW that are less intense than this debate on cake smashes!

OP, I would say go for it if it will make you happy. I loved the photos from the ones I did for my kids, and the photos (including the many we took without the cake) were shared with delighted grandparents and the extended family. This apparently makes me a bit “common”, but I’m sure I’ve been called worse Grin.

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 09/09/2020 09:46

@dooratheexplorer

As my previous post was deleted....

It's very naff. I would think less of you. If you're okay with being seen as less classy then crack on.

Not sure why your previous post was deleted
OP posts:
Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 09/09/2020 09:48

@ShebaShimmyShake

I make play dough every couple of months, salt dough and pasta necklaces and pictures. I'll do papier mache when my daughter is older. I can't see how a one off cake smash is any more wasteful than that. Of course, I may in fact be morally reprehensible. Making play dough isn't even the worst thing I've ever done.

It is of course shameful that we need food banks, but it's not the fault of cake smashes.

I truly can't understand the depth of vitriol we get on here about them. I completely understand they're not to everyone's taste, not really a fan of them myself, but they're just messy play photoshoots. The level of viciousness that surrounds them is out of all proportion and makes me wonder what people are really angry about.

You awful person, you'll be using potatoes to paint with next
OP posts:
Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 09/09/2020 09:50

@ShebaShimmyShake

It's not new. There was a cake smash thread on here about two or three years ago and I doubt that was the only other one there's been. People were comparing it to the Hunger Games and accusing each other of using their children to act out secret scatological fetishes. I'm not making this up.
I don't even know what that means but I feel let down those posters haven't come to tell me
OP posts:
Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 09/09/2020 09:53

Would you be doing it if you weren't going to put the photos on social media?
Worse. I'm thinking canvas picture on my wall. But im terribly unclassy and have staged photos of my son sat on a table with some teddies and one in a wicker basket so I think it's too late to save my classy soul. Ooh and staged ones of PFB dressed as a superhero. They're adorable

OP posts:
Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 09/09/2020 09:55

@ShebaShimmyShake I googled. Definition not images thankfully. Ewe. Definitely no poo fantasy here BUT one cupcake between two fat babies may well get a bit hunger games

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Coffeekisses · 09/09/2020 09:55

Go for it OP! Plenty of food and other resources get wasted every day, sounds like your twins would have a blast and you’d have fun too. You only get the one shot at it and if you don’t do it, you’ll regret it later. Enjoy 🙂

Coffeekisses · 09/09/2020 09:57

And ignore Mumsnet obsession with being “classy”/having no twiggy shit and only secondhand furniture/no wall canvases - life’s too short!

TheKeatingFive · 09/09/2020 09:58

But im terribly unclassy and have staged photos of my son sat on a table with some teddies and one in a wicker basket so I think it's too late to save my classy soul. Ooh and staged ones of PFB dressed as a superhero. They're adorable

Honestly OP, how dare you?

Having your own ideas about what you put on your wall/photo album rather than waiting for the cultured elite to tell you what’s acceptable.

Have you no shame?

lottiegarbanzo · 09/09/2020 09:59

Does it have to be an actual cake? Couldn't you cover a cardboard 'cake' in icing and let the babies cover themselves in that?

Or let them play in washable paint, or bubbles, or anything else play-worthy, messy and photogenic?