Grammar and MN users.

[coffeeandbiscuittime]

I started browsing Mumsnet whilst completing my Master's degree. I have always been concerned about whether my English grammar/language/pronunciation is correct. I am English - north-west so I have an accent, also had a lisp as a child, always got the picked on for this, believed I was rubbish at English, so achieving the Master's is a big deal for me.
There are really interesting debates on important topics on Mumsnet but I find the nastiness of people pulling posters up on grammar really offensive.
We need to accept that Mumsnet is an open forum for people of all walks of life, with different cultures, backgrounds and for some English as a second language. To continue to pick up on posters grammar means that some people will stop posting. This then reduces the variety of opinions and debate then becomes very narrow.
I am ashamed of my fellow Mumsnetters, please accept that not everyone has had the same education/interest in grammar as you, but their opinions are still valid.

Not this again

There was an interesting thread last week where they discussed it was alright to attack people, be rude, dismissive, mean for a multitude of reasons (baby names being a good example) but if you correct Spag you are being a dick. I think there is a difference in pulling someone up on AIBU than in relationships, and if they are being particularly nasty/critical about others in AIBU then honestly I think that's fair game.

I agree with you, mostly, but when someone has made a really snide post and their grammar is poor, pulling them on that is a satisfying way of pointing out that they're far from perfect themselves. In general, as long as a post can be understood then I don't think the SPAG matters much at all- but if it's a snobby, punching down post in itself, then taking a shot at the OP's SPAG seems fair enough to me.

I'd be happy for someone to point out incorrect grammar or spelling to me. Who wants to get it wrong? I don't see the problem as long as errors are pointed out in a friendly manner.

But they are often not pointed out in a nice way. They are often said in a superior way.
The poster that said ' not this again' I apologise I did not realise it was such an offensive topic.
This is really putting me off browsing Mumsnet , which is a shame as I do enjoy the debates , just not the bitchiness and supercilious comments by posters.

I’ve only ever corrected somebody once (not on MN) because that person had corrected somebody else and made a very basic mistake in their own post! Pots and kettles....

I do find it depressing, though, how many people make such very basic mistakes (it’s/its, your/you’re/there/their etc.) since these things are very simple to explain and should have been sorted out at primary school stage. It does put our education system in such a poor light. I don’t believe it’s invariably down to dyslexia.

The most cringe-making correction I ever saw wasn’t to do with SPAG though - it was on a closed writers’ forum, where someone had used a Latin phrase incorrectly.
A member who was very up herself and superior (in her own eyes anyway) pointed out the mistake on the open forum, when she could so easily have sent a PM.

A little typo here and there is no problem, but if spelling and grammar are really bad, it makes it hard to read and understand. One of the reasons I like Mumsnet is the high standard of written English.

I agree (to an extent) that it is unkind to publicly criticise grammar. My grammar is anything but perfect on here, and I would be the first to admit it. But just how hard is it to learn that it is “could have” when it is pointed out over and over again on here? I never opening posts with “should of” in the title. I spend so much time with a red pen correcting this on students’ work that I now include it in my (Engineering) lectures, many students are genuinely amazed to hear that “of” is wrong. Why am I doing the job of a primary school teacher for students at a pretty respectable university?

“I never open” I knew there would be a mistake in that post!

Whilst errors aren’t always pointed out in the nicest way, spelling and grammar are both important. It can make the true meaning of posts hard to understand or change it entirely so posters respond to something quite different to what the op actually intended them to.

I am English - north-west so I have an accent, also had a lisp as a child, always got the picked on for this, believed I was rubbish at English, so achieving the Master's is a big deal for me.
Your pronunciation and lisp are nothing to do with written grammar.

You sound a bit up yourself tbh

To be honest, if you would stop posting because someone pulls you up on your grammar, you're not cut out for MN!

There is no excuse for saying ‘could of’. Period.

Well, gee ... Thanks, OP - but I think I've lived long enough to be able to discern the difference between not first language English / poor education and distracting, lazy use of language.

MN is a medium for communication. Anyone using it has a dictionary / thesaurus and the ability to check almost anything at the touch of a key. It's simple good manners to at least try to make one's posts readable (if you're aware your spelling and grammar may be inaccurate).

Most people make allowances where it's clear a poster is struggling with English. And of course it's poor form to make snide remarks where someone is already distressed.

@sst1234

There is no excuse for saying ‘could of’. Period.

And there's rarely an excuse for pointing out when another poster has made that error. It may be wrong, but there's no problem understanding them, and it's just obnoxious pointing it out.

We need to accept that Mumsnet is an open forum for people of all walks of life, with different cultures, backgrounds and for some English as a second language.

I think Mumsnet is very middle class and London-centric. I don't think it is actually that representative of many women outside a very specific kind of lifestyle and Mumsnet does tend to be very very snobby about things like grammar but will then patronisingly tell the people they are lecturing to "be nice" .

Some people unnecessarily point out typos. Others use it as a very weak argument and a form of pulling people down. Some are pedantic and simply love to correct people. I always assume these posters were heavily criticised themselves and have low self esteem.

It has been my experience in real life that the more highly educated someone is, the less likely they are to do this. Don’t indulge by responding.

There is a difference between typographical errors and grammar/spelling/punctuation errors. When people pull up other posters on what was clearly a typographical error, I think it warrants an eye roll.

However, I do disagree that we should just accept, for example, 'could of' because we know what they intended. If people are not made aware of their incorrect use of the English language, then they will go on to teach their children, etc. and the true English language will be lost.

What pisses me off is when (in an earlier post I read) the OP posted 'should of' - which is a pet hate of mine, and obviously many others on here. When they were pulled up they immediately went on the defensive 'well I'm dyslexic'. It's also along the lines of someone asking opinions, getting slagged off and saying 'I suffer with anxiety/stress/depression/stupidity' - there's always a bloody reason (which they don't mention) and it's never 'I'm an arse'.

I agree op. The "aitch" verses "haitch" thread was awful - people were not helpfully pointing out how wrong, the wrong posters were, they were horrifically smug and condescending in how they pointed it out.
I sometimes wonder if they were bullied at school by the not very bright, but popular kids and this is their revenge.

Almost every weight loss thread has someone talking about "loosing" weight. I often wonder whether the people who spell it like that assume everyone else is wrong to spell it "losing."

@Yesyoudoknowme

What pisses me off is when (in an earlier post I read) the OP posted 'should of' - which is a pet hate of mine, and obviously many others on here. When they were pulled up they immediately went on the defensive 'well I'm dyslexic'. It's also along the lines of someone asking opinions, getting slagged off and saying 'I suffer with anxiety/stress/depression/stupidity' - there's always a bloody reason (which they don't mention) and it's never 'I'm an arse'.

I have never said I was dyslexic.

And recently, the number of 'puppy's' for sale. Not as in 'this puppy is for sale' but rather intending to show multiple puppies!