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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Grammar and MN users.

147 replies

coffeeandbiscuittime · 08/09/2020 09:42

I started browsing Mumsnet whilst completing my Master's degree. I have always been concerned about whether my English grammar/language/pronunciation is correct. I am English - north-west so I have an accent, also had a lisp as a child, always got the picked on for this, believed I was rubbish at English, so achieving the Master's is a big deal for me.
There are really interesting debates on important topics on Mumsnet but I find the nastiness of people pulling posters up on grammar really offensive.
We need to accept that Mumsnet is an open forum for people of all walks of life, with different cultures, backgrounds and for some English as a second language. To continue to pick up on posters grammar means that some people will stop posting. This then reduces the variety of opinions and debate then becomes very narrow.
I am ashamed of my fellow Mumsnetters, please accept that not everyone has had the same education/interest in grammar as you, but their opinions are still valid.

OP posts:
Emeraldshamrock · 08/09/2020 21:53

I think Mumsnet is very middle class and London-centric. I don't think it is actually that representative of many women outside a very specific kind of lifestyle and Mumsnet does tend to be very very snobby about things like grammar but will then patronisingly tell the people they are lecturing to "be nice"
I think many posters like to believe that is the primary makeup of MN.
There is many working class posters on MN who've been here years before some smart ass pops up about a nethuns invasion.
Yanbu OP.
Some of the replies are very small minded for many educated people it is a waste when they can't see outside the box.
Afterall 7 y.o know these SPAG errors in their world.

JalapenoDave · 08/09/2020 21:56

Fair enough. But I'm sorry - bad grammar is irritating as hell.
Except genuine typos, in which case can be hilarious. I seem to remember a post on here a few weeks back, asking for tips on cooking children - think it should have said "chicken".
Lol Grin

MagMell · 08/09/2020 22:08

I never correct it, but bad grammar irritates the hell out of me. And I’m working-class.

And a looong way from London, though I fail to see how that’s relevant to SPAG, apart from the odd regional usage.

SemperIdem · 08/09/2020 22:27

@RedPanda17 your comment is classist.

BadLad · 08/09/2020 22:27

@Frazzled13

But sometimes it genuinely makes no sense. I saw a thread a while back where the OP said something like “I borrowed her something”. The first few pages of comments had lots of people trying to figure out if OP meant she had borrowed something from her friend, or if her friend had borrowed something from her. What OP meant was “I lent her something” but what she wrote was nonsense.
I'd bet my left ball that what the Ozp meant was completely clear from the context. If the thread mentioned paying it back, it would have been obvious who had borrowed what and from whom, Those people "trying to figure it put" were passive-aggressively making a point about grammar by pretending not to understand.
Emeraldshamrock · 08/09/2020 22:30

Those people "trying to figure it put" were passive-aggressively making a point about grammar by pretending not to understand
Yes I agree. Surely if posters are very well educated with excellent SPAG they could work out a misplaced word. Wink

JayAlfredPrufrock · 08/09/2020 22:32

I judge.

And don’t post.

Emeraldshamrock · 08/09/2020 22:37

What gives people the right to judge others. Is it their own fault if they had bad parents who didn't prioritise education or is it their fault they were hungry, abused, or had undiagnosed SEN depending on the era.
Some of the DC around here are very poor survival is on their mind.
I'd be embarrassed if I was well educated and judged those who weren't.

MerchantOfVenom · 08/09/2020 22:38

Wow, it’s pretty rude to intimate that working class people are too stupid or uneducated to use correct SPAG.

SummerSummerSummertime · 08/09/2020 22:39

Just spelz properly innit!!! 🤷‍♀️

Emeraldshamrock · 08/09/2020 22:43

Wow, it’s pretty rude to intimate that working class people are too stupid or uneducated to use correct SPAG
That was not what I was trying to intimate if that is what you take from it that is your perception.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 08/09/2020 23:02

I judge all over the place. But quietly. So no one knows. And no one is hurt.

SemperIdem · 08/09/2020 23:11

@Emeraldshamrock I don’t think that response was directed at you.

oldmotherriley · 08/09/2020 23:18

'I am English north-west so have an accent'. No.....everybody who speaks English has an accent. Scouse, Geordie, Essex, RP, posh Southern, Nigerian, whatever...we all speak with an accent.

stayathomer · 08/09/2020 23:21

think Mumsnet is very middle class and London-centric. I don't think it is actually that representative of many women outside a very specific kind of lifestyle
Definitely disagree on this, I think there's a fairly even mix but aside from this. I used to be a grammar snob. I wouldn't pull people up on it, but I'd secretly judge them. Then one day I saw someone openly judge and correct a person on their grammar and I waded in and argued for the victim. Life is too short. Who cares?! Watch your own words but leave other people alone and definitely dont use it as a stick to poke them!!

Supersimkin2 · 08/09/2020 23:30

Some of the mistakes are very funny. Unintentional humour's always worth it.

Like it or not OP, bad spag isn't associated with wisdom, brains or clarity.

Mittens030869 · 08/09/2020 23:37

'I am English north-west so have an accent'. No.....everybody who speaks English has an accent. Scouse, Geordie, Essex, RP, posh Southern, Nigerian, whatever...we all speak with an accent.

^This with bells on. As a keen linguist (stated earlier, I know), that's exactly right. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having an accent, you should feel able to own it with pride as an important part of your identity.

Written English is different, because you can't read an accent, you can only read words. I don't mean that spelling and grammar have to be perfect to be understood, but they need to be good enough to be understood.

But if you're nitpicking about it for no other reason than to feel superior then without doubt you're behaving like a twat.

TheSeedsOfADream · 08/09/2020 23:39

Luckily, HQ do delete posts made just to correct other people's SPAG.
The thread referred to earlier on this one (from this morning) had several posts deleted. The bullying of the OP and accusing her of lying about her dyslexia (when the mistake she made was absolutely typical of a person with dyslexia- but according to some nasty pieces of work- she was "playing the dyslexia card" ) was despicable.

@DadDadDad
Nice to see you 3D, I miss the days when Pedants' Corner was full of interesting chats about language rather than the hideous "look at the thicko who can't spell" zone it's become now.

Longlockdown · 08/09/2020 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Alongcameacat · 09/09/2020 00:17

I think Mumsnet is very middle class and London-centric. I don't think it is actually that representative of many women outside a very specific kind of lifestyle

I completely disagree with this and agree that many people like to think this is the case.

Most threads reflect a wide range of opinions and tastes. Look at threads about shoplifting, employment issues, racism, food banks and health issues.

It is so diverse and many threads are very thought provoking.

seayork2020 · 09/09/2020 00:17

I can't be irritated by grammar or lack of because this assumes I am right and they are wrong and I am never 100% sure I am right anwyay

VodselForDinner · 09/09/2020 00:24

I’m a pedant but tend not to correct people online. It’s not my place to do it and comes across as sanctimonious.
Much like this-

I am ashamed of my fellow Mumsnetters

ViciousJackdaw · 09/09/2020 01:40

What if someone comes along and says 'I've filled in alot of job applications but never get any replys'? It would be downright cruel not to correct them. Sometimes people need to know.

alexdgr8 · 09/09/2020 02:16

@ShitStain

It’s hard to take someone seriously who doesn’t understand the use of too/to, of/have/off and their/there/they’re.
i don't find it hard at all. you must have a very small circle of acquaintance and influence, which is unfortunate. but one can always learn and expand one's understanding. or as my esteemed parent would say, you'll find out when you're older.
alexdgr8 · 09/09/2020 02:24

@JalapenoDave

Fair enough. But I'm sorry - bad grammar is irritating as hell. Except genuine typos, in which case can be hilarious. I seem to remember a post on here a few weeks back, asking for tips on cooking children - think it should have said "chicken". Lol Grin
that reminds me of some mind-boggling terms, eg, if olive oil is made of olives, and corn oil from corn... what is baby oil made of !!! ???

as he entered the carriage he had his eye on the only seat but a woman sat on it !

as you come over the hill, the town Diss appears. ??

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