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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grammar and MN users.

147 replies

coffeeandbiscuittime · 08/09/2020 09:42

I started browsing Mumsnet whilst completing my Master's degree. I have always been concerned about whether my English grammar/language/pronunciation is correct. I am English - north-west so I have an accent, also had a lisp as a child, always got the picked on for this, believed I was rubbish at English, so achieving the Master's is a big deal for me.
There are really interesting debates on important topics on Mumsnet but I find the nastiness of people pulling posters up on grammar really offensive.
We need to accept that Mumsnet is an open forum for people of all walks of life, with different cultures, backgrounds and for some English as a second language. To continue to pick up on posters grammar means that some people will stop posting. This then reduces the variety of opinions and debate then becomes very narrow.
I am ashamed of my fellow Mumsnetters, please accept that not everyone has had the same education/interest in grammar as you, but their opinions are still valid.

OP posts:
seayork2020 · 08/09/2020 11:59

If I can't read a post I will ask for clarification but this is a forum not a thesis so I don't give two hoots whether posters are correct or not, also no offence to any individual but having a masters nor any qualification or not does make posters better at grammar regardless

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 08/09/2020 12:01

I have corrected once when someone asked for feedback on a letter they had written. As long as I can understand what they mean Im not really that bothered. I was on a thread once where people were being v nice and supportive to a poster because it was obvious that english wasnt her first language. Only it was. That was quite embarrassing to read.

LouisBalfour · 08/09/2020 12:04

I think it can be quite helpful. For example, I’ve seen someone corrected for using ‘mute’ instead of ‘moot’. It could have saved that poster embarrassment going forward.

I for one would be mortified if I was unwittingly making such an error.

Somethingsnappy · 08/09/2020 12:04

A bit of a side note, but I find it interesting that aspects of grammar that my parents would correct me on whilst growing up, are now officially accepted. So, for example..... To compare something with/to.....if I were/was, and now even.... to be bored with/of something. Even the last example is becoming acceptable in all but the most academic of writing. Language evolution is pretty fascinating to me.

LouiseTrees · 08/09/2020 12:06

I agree with the OP.

AryaStarkWolf · 08/09/2020 12:10

@LouisBalfour

I think it can be quite helpful. For example, I’ve seen someone corrected for using ‘mute’ instead of ‘moot’. It could have saved that poster embarrassment going forward.

I for one would be mortified if I was unwittingly making such an error.

I doubt many people think it's "nice and helpful" (unless maybe they're learning English) No one in real life would correct a strangers grammar, they just wouldn't because it would be really rude and patronising so why do people think it's fine to do it to strangers on the internet?
seayork2020 · 08/09/2020 12:12

Not on this forum (yet) but I have seen posters correcting another to end up being incorrect themselves, so other than making themselves feel better what is actually achieved by correcting people?

Alongcameacat · 08/09/2020 12:15

I think it can be quite helpful
You might genuinely be trying to help but let’s be honest, most do it as a power move to put others down.

Correcting someone’s grammar without being invited to do so, is to put it mildly inappropriate and to many is nothing more a public display of bad manners.

slashlover · 08/09/2020 12:20

The only time it annoys me is when posters use 'lent' and 'borrowed' incorrectly which makes the post difficult to follow.

LouisBalfour · 08/09/2020 12:24

As I said, I don’t do it. But if I was blindly going through life saying ‘mute point’ or ‘effect’ when ‘affect’ is correct, I’d far rather a stranger on the internet corrected me than (embarrassingly) a colleague or friend.

Pelleas · 08/09/2020 12:25

I'll normally only point out errors where they are relevant to the post - e.g. a poster wanting a critique of an email/letter/creative writing piece.

We have no idea of posters' backgrounds - whether they might be dyslexic, for instance, or poorly-educated, or non-native English speakers. It's unfair to point out SPAG errors to someone who is reaching out for support in, say AIBU or Relationships.

Pedants' Corner is the place to go for SPAG discussions.

RancidOldHag · 08/09/2020 12:26

MN always had the general outlook that those whomcan write standard English should do so.

This began because of posters whomaccessed the site using assistive technology, which can be really bad at dealing with text-speak and other non-standard usage.

That considerations n also applies to those who are dyslexic, or for whom English is not their first language - as it is much, much easier to access content when you do not have tomstruggke to understand it.

That is a huge strength of the site.

I do not believe those who are nasty about grammar actually care about the language. They are just being nasty and looking for any stick to beat with.

littledrummergirl · 08/09/2020 12:39

I used to think that I had a reasonably good grasp of the English language, then I visited pedants Corner. I left knowing that I actually no very little... Grin

Crankley · 08/09/2020 12:42

Chemenger
I agree (to an extent) that it is unkind to publicly criticise grammar. But just how hard is it to learn that it is “could have” when it is pointed out over and over again on here? I never opening posts with “should of” in the title.

I agree. Could/would/should OF instead of HAVE has been corrected thousands of times on here and it it's in a title I don't open the thread, assuming the rest of the OP's posts will be littered with similar errors. That's my main hate but there are plenty of others. I hate the incorrect use of yourself/myself and also things like 'myself and DH and DCs had went to ....'. and other strangulations of the English language.

I don't bother correcting them because if they haven't picked up the correct form by now, i doubt they ever will, whether due to ignorance or not caring.

DullDullWeather · 08/09/2020 13:03

No excuse for addin Period. after words either !

DullDullWeather · 08/09/2020 13:03

adding
Haha

ZoeTurtle · 08/09/2020 13:30

Is there ANY post on this thread that doesn't include an error? Grin

Using standard grammar and spelling is important, because that's how we know what the hell people are trying to say. No need to point it out in a nasty way, but equally no need to get defensive when someone tells you you've made a mistake. It's how we learn.

I've got a friend who tells me every time I get who/whom wrong, because I'm still trying to get to grips with it. I appreciate her help.

SkepticalCat · 08/09/2020 13:34

@SemperIdem

Whilst errors aren’t always pointed out in the nicest way, spelling and grammar are both important. It can make the true meaning of posts hard to understand or change it entirely so posters respond to something quite different to what the op actually intended them to.
I agree. I'm not sure whether this was on Mumsnet or another forum, but a discussion about a TV programme included the phrase "hole seen when X happened" when the person actually meant "whole scene". Not that it mattered too much, but it certainly took a moment or two to work out what the poster was talking about.
TrojanWhore · 08/09/2020 15:34

phrase "hole seen when X happened"

Sounds like an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction!

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 08/09/2020 16:50

I'm sure some posters love to watch other posters correct someone's grammar and spelling. Personally I can't think of a more scintillating, fascinating debating technique or resourceful use of column inches. Zzzzz .....

The 'correctors' and their metaphorical red pens don't achieve what I'm sure is the desired aim of making themselves look more intelligent. They just appear supercilious, smug, and vaguely silly.

PS. I'm aware of the Oxford comma before one of them sees fit to point this out.

OP, YANBU.

SkepticalCat · 08/09/2020 18:28

@TrojanWhore

phrase "hole seen when X happened"

Sounds like an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction!

😂
littlecatfeet · 08/09/2020 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TacosTuesday · 08/09/2020 21:10

I find correction of grammar on here very tedious, it's rarely related to the topic itself and I find it comes across as superior and condescending in tone. In real life to correct someone would be considered very rude. It has a hint of privilege too - assuming everyone is writing in their first language, has a certain level of education or indeed no issues with dyslexia etc. So I always think it says as much about the person making the correction really.

RedPanda17 · 08/09/2020 21:37

It's very classist to point out 'poor' grammar.

Frazzled13 · 08/09/2020 21:52

But sometimes it genuinely makes no sense. I saw a thread a while back where the OP said something like “I borrowed her something”.
The first few pages of comments had lots of people trying to figure out if OP meant she had borrowed something from her friend, or if her friend had borrowed something from her. What OP meant was “I lent her something” but what she wrote was nonsense.