To break the "why?" cycle with every child?

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So, I can't stand the "why?" Cycle. Drives me crazy, I refuse to be drawn into it with kids.

Eg
Adult: we have to go home
Kid: why?
Adult: because it's 3
Kid: why?
Adult: because that's the time

Etc as the kid finds it amusing that the adult is getting all flustered and annoyed.

My go to is 'I will only answer proper questions, so ask me again properly'. They occasionally ask me one, maybe two follow up questions.

According to a friend, I'm spoiling the kids fun

Ha ha - my best ever cross-post, but I'll try to stay ahead!

Because the more you know and the more capacity you have for learning, the more interesting a life you can lead because you have more opportunities to put your knowledge to good use, either professionally or personally.

[quote zigaziga]@ChickenwingChickenwing oh yes that wasn’t in response to you it was in response to the OP who used your example and said her child would just say “why?” to it. I think we’re generally on the same page.

The OP however seems to want to have some kind of answer to “why?” that ends the conversation stone cold whereas I just think that’s the wrong approach.[/quote]
Why?

@BoyTree

Ha ha - my best ever cross-post, but I'll try to stay ahead!

Because the more you know and the more capacity you have for learning, the more interesting a life you can lead because you have more opportunities to put your knowledge to good use, either professionally or personally.

Why?

Because some of the most fascinating people in the world have asked questions and used the answers to make hugely important discoveries which have benefitted generations of people who came after them.

Because some people are driven to understand things and aren't content to accept that what we know now is all we can know.

OP seems to be on an obvious piss take just responding 'why' to everyone that has wasted their time replying on this thread

OP - you are not funny.

Because everything that we do and everything that we use has been designed and improved by innovators and people who wanted to know more, understand more and discover more. And without those people the world would be a much more boring place.

I don't consider it time wasted, to be fair - I like being forced to confront my own assumptions and examine the limits of my knowledge and understanding of the world.

I haven’t really had this so far with my nearly 5 year old, I think maybe as I quite enjoy it like others, so she’s never gotten that ‘ah this is a way to wind her up that I will make use of’ thing. She asks kids of questions but tends to be satisfied with answers easily enough. Also DH probably asks her why more than she asks us so she understands it can be annoying! Maybe an approach?!!

There are others for me, I’m not judging you, but it sounds like you need to find a way out of the loop before you get really irritated. I suppose that’s your question. I think in that situation I’d probably say ‘I like answering your questions but I have explained why we have to make/eat dinner, so won’t be answering this one again.’

@BoyTree

I don't consider it time wasted, to be fair - I like being forced to confront my own assumptions and examine the limits of my knowledge and understanding of the world.

Why?

@ChickenwingChickenwing

OP seems to be on an obvious piss take just responding 'why' to everyone that has wasted their time replying on this thread

OP - you are not funny.

I'm making the 'point' that endless 'why'? questions are just annoying, and not funny or exploring the world or being curious etc Why is being asked just because.

Which is why I find the Why Cycle annoying.

Because I find it interesting to think that the things we use every day and take utterly for granted once didn't exist until someone actually came up with the idea of them.

@BoyTree

Because I find it interesting to think that the things we use every day and take utterly for granted once didn't exist until someone actually came up with the idea of them.

Why?

Because there are things like tables that have existed for thousands of years in their current form, that nobody has really improved on or changed significantly for hundreds of generations, and yet we're here in the middle of a period of huge technological innovation which has seen the very nature of life change immeasurably over the space of about 20 years. And there will ALWAYS be something new, some new way of doing things that could change everything, but someone needs to have the ingenuity, the knowledge and the self-belief to come up with it. and that's more likely to happen if you know lots of stuff about a lot of things.

I'm making the 'point' that endless 'why'? questions are just annoying, and not funny or exploring the world or being curious etc

You are making no point at all. Annoying adults on a chat forum proves nothing about the way we should engage and communicate with young children

I'm with a pp here. The imaginative make believe play makes me want to jump out of a window but the 'why' stage is actually pretty enjoyable.

Especially if you don't shut them down. Sometimes they ask the most brilliant questions, and I learn something new too trying to find the answers for them (like why are crows black but magpies are black and white?)

It can be a way of teaching them to navigate the world too. For example, I live in a very white area, so seeing people of colour where we live is rare unless we go into town, so when one of ds's friends when they were about 2,maybe 3 asked 'why does that lady have a dirty black face?'

I was a bit mortified, but I explained that no she isn't dirty, that's just the colour of her skin. This was met with, 'why does that lady have a clean black face?' and I told him about melanin and pigment etc and that was his curiosity satisfied.

Why is a good question.

Children don't know the answer to why, so we have to teach them, even when it is infuriating or embarrassing.

Scientists are grown ups who never had the 'why' knocked out of them as children.

You aren't proving a point at all OP, you're just making yourself look and sound like a djck. Everyone has given their own thoughts about why the question why is important to children. We aren't children, we are adults and more capable of asking questions other than just why, so it doesn't apply the same.

I genuinely don't find it annoying because I am just assuming that the OP is reading my thoughts and taking them in and changing their view based on my insight and excellent way of explaining things. Believing that certainly makes it easier with my kids, at least.

If someone arrived and told me without context to put my shoes on I'd probably end up in the same "why spiral".

A conversation along the lines of "Hey George, we need to go shopping in a few minutes so can you put your shoes on" would change the dynamic.

I've let mine leave the house without them in the past though (but will take them with us just in case). One stubbed toe later and they've got the reason for shoes.

Fun posting 'why' all the time OP. But you have actually been given some valuable advice on not discouraging children learning/curiosity.

If your partner asked you to do something, in your mind, unreasonable and you asked why and was fobbed off every single time, I'm sure you would feel badly treated and eventually give up, feel not heard and abused.

@MiniCooperLover

You aren't proving a point at all OP, you're just making yourself look and sound like a djck. Everyone has given their own thoughts about why the question why is important to children. We aren't children, we are adults and more capable of asking questions other than just why, so it doesn't apply the same.

No I'm not a dick.

I know the fucking difference between a genuinely curious question of "why is the sky blue?" and the why?why?why?why?why?

It's the incessant 'why?' for the sake of winding people up etc that I'm talking about,

I'm not an idiot.

It's the incessant 'why?' for the sake of winding people up etc that I'm talking about,

This is what you are doing. This is not what a curious young child is doing. They don't deliberately wind people up. You are attaching adult emotion to a child who doesn't have that capacity.

@giantangryrooster

Fun posting 'why' all the time OP. But you have actually been given some valuable advice on not discouraging children learning/curiosity.

If your partner asked you to do something, in your mind, unreasonable and you asked why and was fobbed off every single time, I'm sure you would feel badly treated and eventually give up, feel not heard and abused.

I'm not stupid, I encourage learning and curiosity and exploration. But that ISN'T what the Why?Why?Why?Why?Why? is about.

The child isn't interested in "why?" They're interested in getting a reaction or to delay.

Which isn't the same thing as 'Why does x happen?' or similar.

@ChickenwingChickenwing

It's the incessant 'why?' for the sake of winding people up etc that I'm talking about,

This is what you are doing. This is not what a curious young child is doing. They don't deliberately wind people up. You are attaching adult emotion to a child who doesn't have that capacity.

Lol, yes they do. If they see the adult is getting frustrated/annoyed/whatever or it is achieving the delay they want for example.... they will ask it solely to continue. It's definitely not because they're genuinely interested in why we use the time system we use, or why humans need to eat at that particular time.

Maybe you've never actually experienced a genuine why cycle??

I'm also guessing that the people who can't differentiate between the Why Cycle and genuine curiosity, are the same people that don't understand the term Performance Parent.

And they know they are winding you up (and you do seem easily annoyed). If you answer to the best of your ability every time and don't show your annoyance, it will probably stop.