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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you find Cardi B WAP offensive or liberating?

259 replies

Louise000000 · 06/09/2020 20:38

Just that really, I'm undecided. I think it depends on what mood I'm in.
On one hand she's only using language that male rappers have been using for decades and it is liberating that a woman can express herself in an obviously sexual way and why not?
On the other some of the lyrics are absolutely mad
'swipe your nose like a credit card'
'touch that little dangly thing that swings at the back on my throat' 😂

What do you think?

OP posts:
SkiingIsHeaven · 09/09/2020 01:27

Semi naked women writhing around spouting absolute filth. Sexually objectifying themselves and then saying they are feminists and liberated.

The men have well and truly pulled the wool over these women's eyes.

My DD thinks it is a feminist anthem.

Saying that, it is quite catchy. "There's some whores in this house'

differentnameforthis · 09/09/2020 01:41

I think these kind of lyrics I wanna gag, I wanna choke clearly applied in a sexual context - when women are being killed and having it labelled as "rough sex" by defence - are highly problematic for youngsters.

BubblyWater · 09/09/2020 01:49

I don't feel liberated, I feel offended. Its a vile song that normalises violent sex to young people in a similar way to easy access to hardcore porn.

My fear is that some men now have unrealistic expectations of women in bed with respect to choking, etc. and this song just contributes to that idea.

I despair for my daughters' future, I really do.

differentnameforthis · 09/09/2020 02:40

@Imworthit

I love it for so many reasons. It is taking the power back from misogyny. The females singing are very in control of their representation. Not some poor girls compromising themselves and they are highlighting that that is still a real issue and their past.

Asking 'is it offensive or liberating? ' suggests that your still looking to others to validate what you feel, how you should act, and what you value.

The girls who made this don't give a fuck! It was made to be derisive. They are rich, love their lives, priorities their sex needs and there own value and freedom. Love their beautiful bodies 😜 Cardi.

I've been told in a `bad feminist' before because I'm proud of women who are Liberal and love themselves. See the game and play it.

Mass deciding how women should or shouldn't be and punishing them for 'being out of line' is exactly what we have been fighting forever.

2 women and 4 men wrote this.

A man directed the video.

Now, if it was ONLY written by women, I may agree with some of your post.

Everything calling women whores is liberating, slut, bitch, cunt, hormonal, hysterical, mad, psycho, stalker.

Those words are used mainly by men to demean, defeat and control women. That's called abuse. We don't need a "take the word back" movement for those words. We need to stop using them in relation to people. I have been repeatedly called some of those names by a man who claims to love me, it's abusive behaviour and I am leaving him.

Please learn what liberating means, because it isn't being called a cunt.

To ask if you find Cardi B WAP offensive or liberating?
differentnameforthis · 09/09/2020 03:06

@Imworthit Your post - Tue 08-Sep-20 02:13:33 beautifully cherry picks the lyrics that "prove" your point.

Let's try these...

But let me tell you how I got this ring [1]
Ask for a car while you ride that dick (while you ride that dick) [1]
He bought a phone just for pictures [2]
Pay my tuition just to kiss me [1]
I wanna gag, I wanna choke [3]
Switch my wig, make him feel like he cheating [4]
Never lost a fight, but I'm looking for a beating [3]
You can't hurt my feelings, but I like pain [3]

[1] Implied that women only have sex for material gain, and not pleasure. Which is what we are often accused of by misogynistic men!

[2] Pictures have been used in revenge porn in order to discredit females who dare to end their relationships.

[3] Gagging/choking - as I said before... rough sex has been used in a defence where a woman as killed so obviously NOT by having rough sex

[4] Allowing a man to "feel" like he is cheating isn't liberating when many (most?) cheating men blame their spouse and lie to their affair partner about their spouse in a derogatory way.

Proudboomer · 09/09/2020 03:54

Well the wearing a wig so he feels like he is cheating didn’t work for Cardi as her husband was cheating before the ink was dry on the marriage certificate.

PhilSwagielka · 09/09/2020 15:29

I'm in the 'not remotely arsed' camp. I Like It is an absolute banger though.

Imworthit · 14/09/2020 12:10

Haha yeah I only heard the lyrics I liked. Not afraid to admit when I was soo wrong/drunk 😂🤣

netsybetsy · 14/09/2020 12:26

touch that little dangly thing that swings at the back on my throat' 😂

Probably couldn't find a rhyme for "tonsils" 😂

netsybetsy · 14/09/2020 12:35

Video boring but doubt I'm the target audience.

Macramacious · 14/09/2020 12:46

It's nothing new. I grew up listening to Little Kim and Foxy Brown who were just as controversial and much more talented in my opinion.

Also, Cardi B represents a demographic that really do walk, talk and act like that. Millions of people live in the ghettos of America and its important that they are represented in popular culture, even if it shocks the middle class mums and pearl clutchers. There's always Taylor Swift if you want a more PG role model.

LuckyAmy1986 · 14/09/2020 12:51

@netsybetsy that’s not your tonsils!

Spuddddd · 14/09/2020 12:57

I think it's gross and I consider myself pretty open minded but I am really not a fan of Cardi B, I think she is attention seeking and will do anything for fame. This is just another stunt. Look at me- aren't I sooooo outrageous. I guess that's what a lot of stars do!
Worse still all the kids are singing it at school, when I asked my 12 year old DD what on earth she was singing I was shocked! She knew what it meant too! VOM!

sqirrelfriends · 14/09/2020 13:18

It's utter crap IMO, the only reason it's so popular is because of the controversy ensured people talk about it.

Definitely not liberating, women aren't sex objects and I worry about young girls thinking they need to be a "whore" to find a man.

Imworthit · 14/09/2020 13:53

Please learn what liberating means, because it isn't being called a cunt.

Have you ever called someone a cunt tho? It feels pretty fucking liberating 😂

Ya Cunt!

Imworthit · 14/09/2020 13:54

I'm only messing... I do greatly enjoy cursing tho. Not for everyone.

BlackbirdFirst · 14/09/2020 14:03

@tearinyourhand

I saw a great quote the other day along the lines of how if your idea of liberating is something that men will wank to, you have to question how liberating it can actually be. Which pretty much sums it up for me. I'm not offended by sex or by lyrics that might shock people but it's so porny and awful and doesn't sound liberating in any way. It's just utter crap.
Isn't it the opposite of liberating to ask - oh will someone wank to this - and then decide not to do it if you think they might?
netsybetsy · 14/09/2020 14:06

@LuckyAmy1986

It's not? What am I missing? What does she mean? Grin

netsybetsy · 14/09/2020 14:26

Wish I had a WAP but I'm post menopausal Envy

Hingeandbracket · 14/09/2020 14:32

Millions of people live in the ghettos of America and its important that they are represented in popular culture
Why?

Pikachubaby · 14/09/2020 14:54

I think it’s a boring diluted version of what’s been done better in in the 90s

It’s just rehashed 90s

We’re going back in time Hmm

Imworthit · 14/09/2020 14:59

@netsybetsy

Wish I had a WAP but I'm post menopausal Envy
🤣😂🤣❤️
Imworthit · 14/09/2020 15:02

Men will wank to anything! My mate got horny at my mate brushing her teeth. If women do it. Someone will wank to it. Sorry for the truth bomb 💣

Imworthit · 14/09/2020 15:05

[quote netsybetsy]@LuckyAmy1986

It's not? What am I missing? What does she mean? Grin[/quote]
Yeah luck Amy wtf?

FinallyHere · 14/09/2020 15:08

This video still plays to the male gaze and porn culture.

sadly, I agree with @LockdownLump ^

It's the sort of thing that I thought was edgy and liberating when I was twenty, before I realised that it, well, isn't. Sigh