To be sick of all the boy bashing threads?

Prettybluepigeons · 2020-09-05T11:07:43+00:00

[angry] Honest to god, if I have to read one more thread from someone feeling 'sad or ' so disappointed ' that they are unfortunate enough to be be carrying a healthy male child, I will go pop! Ffs! Can you Imagine if it was the other way round and there were loads of threads expressing disappointment at girls? Never getting to go shopping/for spa days/be a mother of a bride! So fucking what!! Be thankful for what you get and create the relationship you want!

TheSeedsOfADream · 05/09/2020 12:11

Taat?
No, you aren't U. But this will probably be deleted.
I only have a girl, but the way people talk about male (teens esp) makes me wonder (as a teacher) if said posters live in cloud cuckoo land about girls!

kaleishorrid · 05/09/2020 12:12

Growing up in a strict Indian family I constantly had the opposite of this - how terrible that you have had/are carrying a girl - sometimes people were (and are still) asked will you terminate as it is a girl?

I agree it's ridiculous and ungrateful and entitled. I spent my childhood saying to various aunts etc who had had girls and were crying at their "misfortune " just be grateful you have a healthy child.

Rant over and breathe

WoodliceCollection · 05/09/2020 12:14

Literally never seen this but ok.

HelplessProcrastinator · 05/09/2020 12:15

I’ve had loads of pity for having two girls. Boys love their mums and girls are bitches apparently. It’s loads with just one of each that are winning at life 😒.

HelplessProcrastinator · 05/09/2020 12:16

Those with one of each not loads

EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire · 05/09/2020 12:17

I think it's entirely normal for women to want to have baby girls.

Likewise I think a lot of men also want sons. It's just they are less likely to talk about it than women are. I know DP was over the moon when we found out we were having a DS and confessed he wanted a son more than a daughter but he would have still lived our child if he had turned out to be a girl.

Youvegotafriendinme · 05/09/2020 12:19

I couldn’t agree with you more. Absolutely pisses me off. If your that disappointed then you should never have found out or had children in the first place. I feel they are basically saying they are disappointed they have a healthy baby!

A close friend of mine is due her second DS very soon and she said nearly everyone she told were disappointed for her or apologised About how sad it was. Poor woman

rorosemary · 05/09/2020 12:19

I agree with you. There are so many gender (sex) dissapointment threads and there all about boys. I'm pregnant with a girl and don't like the stereotyping at all. I feel sorry for all those lovely boys who are seen as less. Inlaws find me weird for not doing/buying everything in pink. I don't like spa days or shopping for clothes. My nephew does! And his favourite colours are pink and purple! Why do we add so many characterics to a child on the basis of 1 little organ? It doesn't make sense till they reach puberty.

Sparticuscaticus · 05/09/2020 12:20

I haven't seen those threads

I have one DS and two DDs

I'm very close to my DS as well as DDs. My DDs don't do many spa or girlie days with me, maybe the odd facial/ face masks day which DS has laughingly joined in at times as he loves a good deep facial cleanse (and don't get us started on his sister helping him de-monobrow )! But equally we've gone to gaming conventions, steam rallies and 'boy type stuff' that his DSisters loved too.

It all seems very gendered expectations, probably from MNs who are into gender roles in what hobbies they enjoy or their DCs might. That's ok, but all DS rock too! We've enjoyed entering his more boyish world and it isn't that different to ours if more muddy sometimes (although youngest DD is a mud magnet too!)

WellThisWentWell · 05/09/2020 12:20

Strange that you’ve seen this....

All i’ve ever seen are threads where (WOMEN,MOMS) are more than happy they have boys and only wanted boys.
Because girls all parently are gossipy, bitchy, princesses, and only like pink.
It’s disgusting!

So YABVU

year5teacher · 05/09/2020 12:21

YABU to start a bitchy thread which is clearly in direct response to one that’s currently active on here lol

EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire · 05/09/2020 12:24

@rorosemary

I agree with you. There are so many gender (sex) dissapointment threads and there all about boys. I'm pregnant with a girl and don't like the stereotyping at all. I feel sorry for all those lovely boys who are seen as less. Inlaws find me weird for not doing/buying everything in pink. I don't like spa days or shopping for clothes. My nephew does! And his favourite colours are pink and purple! Why do we add so many characterics to a child on the basis of 1 little organ? It doesn't make sense till they reach puberty.

Again it is perfectly normal for women to want baby girls. Lots of men also want baby boys. However this site is female dominated so it makes sense you will see mostly threads about being disappointed about having boys.

Being briefly disappointed doesn't mean you will love your son any less or that you view them as being lesser than girls. It just means you were disappointed for while but you quickly get over it either when your child arrives or before then. It doesn't have to be anything sinister.

QueenofmyPrinces · 05/09/2020 12:24

Likewise I think a lot of men also want sons. It's just they are less likely to talk about it than women are. I know DP was over the moon when we found out we were having a DS and confessed he wanted a son more than a daughter.....

Absolutely. My DH admitted during both our pregnancies that he wanted sons, so was obviously overjoyed when I had boys both times.

Crunched · 05/09/2020 12:27

I think it has much to do with the tricky relationships MNetters seem to frequently have with their MIL's. Therefore having a boy seems to mean that, when he is an adult, your relationship will not be a close one.
I don't see that myself. My DH calls his DM everyday since she was widowed and is great son. We take her on holidays and days out far more than we do with my DM.
I have two DDs and a DS,all young adults, and have always been equally close to my DS as the girls, maybe more so.

Potterpotterpotter · 05/09/2020 12:28

Don’t read it if you don’t like it and get a grip. Fuck all to do with you

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 05/09/2020 12:28

Yabu. Nasty thread.

Kaiserin · 05/09/2020 12:28

YANBU for wishing all babies to be valued.

YABU for being so passive aggressive. If you don't like the threads, either comment on them, or don't read them., but don't start a new backstabby gossipy one making veiled references to such threads. That's just petty and cowardly.

And YABU for talking as if such threads were all over the place, when in fact they're not that common. It's really quite insulting to the community.

lotsolove · 05/09/2020 12:31

Their is an ideal of being a mother that came about in the last 15 years on the back of the 'yummy mummy'. Unfortunately it usually involves having a daughter, dressing her up like a doll and going for mummy daughter dates. There are lot of people on here that are more interest being a 'mummy' over being a parent.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 05/09/2020 12:31

A friend of mine told me many years back that she’d ‘burst into tears’ when she found out she was having a second boy. Years later after we’d lost touch, I found her on Facebook and she told me she’d had a third son who was ‘very much in touch with his feminine side, always putting on dresses’. Where was a three year-old getting dresses to fit him?

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 05/09/2020 12:32

I was sad not to be having a girl but not because I have any issue with having a boy, I see so many family and friends raising girls to be 'pretty' not get messy, wear pink, bows in hair, a 4 year old female relative said to me 'girls don't play football' , six year old next door has a pamper party for her birthday with beauticians etc. I just wanted the opportunity to raise a girl who knew she was just as good at/capable of anything in this world as a male counterpart and just do a small bit to challenge the constant drip of misogyny we all experience from birth as women.
I knew we would only have one child and before I knew i had really vivid dreams of having a daughter. I love my son fiercely and will absolutely make sure he recognises his place of privilege in the world as a white male, who grew up in a middle class environment, I will not unleash another cocklodger on the world!

Btw I don't like spa days either....

steff13 · 05/09/2020 12:33

@year5teacher

YABU to start a bitchy thread which is clearly in direct response to one that’s currently active on here lol

Yeah, it's kind of a dick move.

Littlescottiedog · 05/09/2020 12:37

@year5teacher

YABU to start a bitchy thread which is clearly in direct response to one that’s currently active on here lol

Agreed.

Tatatatata · 05/09/2020 12:40

Well this is so obviously in relation to my current thread... 😂

If you read it, I've made absolutely no reference to spa days or being the mother of the bride.

My disappointment actually more stems from the fact I suffered with fertility issues for a long time and this is likely to be my only pregnancy and I am a bit sad that means I probably won't ever have chance to have a daughter in the future. In fact I've specifically said a few times on said thread that it doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to having my son.

But hey, whatever. Be a twat if you want.

Cabinfever10 · 05/09/2020 12:43

Yanbu
I've never understood this yes i had wanted a ds but got a healthy dd and was very happy even though I had only planned on having 1. Ok I ended up having a 2nd 7 years later and just happened to get a ds though would have been happy either way

PumpkinPie2016 · 05/09/2020 12:45

All babies/children should be valued regardless of their sex. In all honesty, I genuinely think that in most cases, the parents are happy either way. I couldn't have cared less whether I had a boy or girl when I was pregnant. Neither could my parents when they were having children.

I have seen the odd thing where the mother is disappointed at finding out she is having a boy which I think is quite sad.

My boy is amazing as are the boys I teach.